After my wife cheated a be lot and we divorced.. I started seeing a new girl and we planned to marry...then 2 months before the wedding I started getting really anxious... couldn't sleep,lost appetite.so much so I thought I was losing my mind.so I cancelled the wedding, ended the relationship.thinking I must not be in love...but now the anxiety seems to be with me all the time..I wake in the early hours some nights feeling alone and overwhelmed by everything..and I love company but as soon as I start to get to know someone the anxiety spirals 10 fold.i logically tell myself calm down, this could be a good thing but I still feel really anxious.i just want to feel normal again but can't seem to move forward.will I ever feel normal again...help!!
I can’t imagine how you feel but I think in the back of your mind you’re thinking “what if this girl cheats on me in the future” and those thoughts trigger anxiety in you, maybe the horrible experience left you with some weird form of ptsd. It’s important that you study this anxiety you get before getting to know someone else because anxiety can really affect relationships.
Yea ... your issue is “Control” ... I’m not married myself because of it.
its the game of “What If” and the vulnerability of being hurt.
You have to remember ... YOU aren’t the reason. And the pain - although real - It’s on Her sins! That does not define you!
Sure we can be bad husbands or lack some trait they want - but you aren’t the source of infidelity.
So now .. meet someone, BE VULNERABLE.. lay it out on the table. Date and Have fun. Let “What if” come when “What if” happens.
Our fears sure do make is unfairly judge others... I know I’m do it.