Trauer

Hallo, ich bin ein 15-jähriger Junge, der mit Depressionen und Angst kämpft. Das Problem ist, dass ich derzeit niemanden habe, den ich einen Freund nennen könnte, und das macht mich so einsam, dass ich nichts mehr tun möchte. Meine Angst ist so schlimm geworden, dass ich in der Schule gezittert habe und Panikattacken hatte, also haben meine Eltern mich auf Homeschooling umgestellt. Den ganzen Tag drinnen zu sitzen und keinen menschlichen Kontakt zu anderen zu haben, macht mich nur noch mehr runter, aber ich glaube nicht, dass ich stark genug bin, um wieder zur öffentlichen Schule zu gehen. Mein Arzt hat mich auf Zoloft gesetzt, aber ich glaube nicht, dass es wirkt, denn es sind schon Monate vergangen und ich fühle mich immer noch so niedergeschlagen und fertig mit dem Leben. Ich habe Schwierigkeiten einzuschlafen, weil ich einfach nicht aufhören kann, über jede Situation nachzudenken, und mein Verstand bringt mich an einen dunklen Ort, der mich nur schrecklich fühlen lässt, weil ich übergewichtig bin und nicht der Attraktivste bin. Alles, was ich will, sind ein paar Freunde, mit denen ich zusammen sein und wieder lachen kann. Aber ich weiß nicht, wie ich neue Freunde finden soll, wenn ich in einer neuen Stadt zu Hause unterrichtet werde. Ich kann nicht mehr allein leben. Ich bin übrigens nicht suizidal, ich finde Suizid erbärmlich (entschuldigt, wenn das jemanden beleidigt, das ist nicht meine Absicht).

Meds are not able to resolve issues or change behaviours, try therapy

Join a weight loss group or exercise or sports group or nerdy group. Get back in school . there are people like you at school

Hi Nick

Let me start by saying, in this day and age you are never alone, just look at us now, support is a message away

You show strength in that you value life as there is always something to be grateful for, supportive parents that have listened to you in the home schooling point, this is a great positive even if there are down sides to it, you are strong in the way you explain yourself well and not afraid to use this forum as a tool, looks are never a negative because we all have special features like humour, confidence, acumen, self belief etc and we all need a few, all or one of these, for instance there may be a good looking chap that may never have the confidence to approach this forum for advice, but you do, now that's a skill/special feature.

On the other point, Zoloft is also called Sertraline a very common side effect is trouble sleeping, I have been on Sertraline for four months and still struggle with insomnia, it may be worth speaking with you're parents with a view to booking in with the doctor for a review if you feel they are not helping as I am sure there are other options, I'm not medically trained however for my anxiety the dose started low and increased at the two month mark.

I'm sure there are also others on here maybe around you're age that can share their experience of options also

Reminder, I know there are lows, but when they come try and remind yourself of the good things you achieve/possess 👍🏼

Das ist leichter gesagt als getan, ich bekomme Panikattacken, wenn ich nur an die Schule denke. Ich möchte versuchen, meine Angst ein wenig zu kontrollieren, bevor ich wieder zur Schule gehe, aber im Moment bin ich noch nicht bereit dafür. Außerdem suche ich nicht nach Tipps zum Abnehmen, ich arbeite daran selbst und es läuft gut.

Hi Nick - I'm so sorry to read of your situation. It is a difficult world to grow up in these days where everyoine is expected to be picture perfect and on top of things. There are some facts that need to be addressed here, the first being that you are fifteen years of age - a time of hormonal chaos as the body makes the adjustment into being a man, and where ones confidence is particularly fragile. This may explain the weight issues, and it is a great time to address healthy eating and exercise which will not solve everything overnight, but rather can be the template for the way you live your life now and into the future. The payoff is huge and will serve you well. The way you think you look is connected to confidence. How you see yourself is not necessarily how others see you. We get caught up on the perfection train not realising that we are unique just the way we are and that there are those out there who would give anything to be like you. Another thing: youth is beuatiful in and of itself, and you have a truckload of youth. You are transitioning into a man and how you look now is not necessarily how you will look in a few years, or in your twenties, or your thirties.

The second point is that you state your meds are not working - or at least, you are not feeling much better after taking them for some months. Have you communicated this to your parents? If not, you need to, and have them set up an appointment with the doctor with a view to changing meds to something that works. There is not a one size fits all formula to anti-deppressants. They do different things and affect everyone differently - because we are all unique, including you. You might also want to ask about therapy with a counsellor/psychologist to address any underlying issues. Meds help with this because they relieve the anxiety and make the exchange of ideas and info with the therapist easier. Eventually, you will learn techniques to deal with any triggers and a deeper understanding of yourself which is always good, and then you can be weaned off the meds and still feel at peace with yourself and ready to tackle the world head on.

Once you are feeling better and more sociable, you can go back to your school and re-invest yourself. It's important that you have contact and interaction with persons of your own age as the social element will be important in your adult life. As for friends - well, most people go through dry spells in life where they are alone. This is not uncommon in adolesence. One you are feeling better and out among it all again the opportunity for friendships will present itself. 

Remember this phase you are in is not permanent. You have help at hand and the courage to deal with it. Be brave. Wishing you all the best for your bright future.

Ich möchte einige Tipps teilen, die Sie zu Hause ausprobieren können:

Meditieren Sie täglich.

Fangen Sie an, Sport zu treiben.

Änderung der Ernährung: Wie wir alle wissen, ist die Ernährung das Einzige, was die geistige Gesundheit verändern kann. Wenn Sie gesunde Lebensmittel essen, fühlen Sie sich besser. Und da nährstoffreiche Lebensmittel Ihre geistige Gesundheit verbessern, sollten Sie gesunde Lebensmittel zu sich nehmen. Es gibt also mehrere Lebensmittel, die Ihnen helfen können, psychologische Probleme zu überwinden.

Vitamin B-reiche Lebensmittel: grüne Gemüse, Fisch, Geflügel usw.

Kohlenhydratreiche Lebensmittel: Haferflocken, Getreide, Nudeln, Vollkornbrote usw.

Aminosäuren: Milch, Joghurt, Bananen usw.

Fette: Fischöl ist sehr gut für die geistige Gesundheit.

Wählen Sie eine Schlafenszeit, wenn Sie müde sind.

Versuchen Sie, jeden Tag zur gleichen Zeit ins Bett zu gehen und aufzustehen.

Versuchen Sie, jeden Tag zur gleichen Zeit ins Bett zu gehen und aufzustehen.

Vermeiden Sie es, am Wochenende zu schlafen.

Hallo, es tut mir leid, dass deine Depression und Angst so tief sind. Dankenswerterweise zeigt dein Kontaktaufnahme hier, dass du immer noch Motivation hast, herauszukommen.

Du brauchst definitiv menschlichen Kontakt. Kannst du in einem Tierheim ehrenamtlich arbeiten und langsam daran arbeiten, Freunde zu finden oder einfach nur unter neuen Menschen zu sein, während du obdachlosen Tieren hilfst. Es wird dir auch einen Sinn geben.

Hi Nick,

I hear you about not feeling confident yet about going back to school, so I'm going to recommend some alternatives:

Go to the library one + day a week.

Find some other "school" related classes that you catches your interest.  Most local school districts have "night school" that is only one or two nights a week.

Some computer venders have free classes on how to use their products to greater advantage.  

Go walk the local shopping mall... figure out what works for you, but walk 2 times - 3 times the length of the mall.  Look at clothes that may fit you better on you... make future plans.

Check the local Boys and Girls Club, YMCA, other community centers and sign up for a class/activity of some kind.  Yoga?  Book Club?  Arts and Crafts?

Attend any local festivals, fairs, farmer's markets, or community celebration.

Volunteer

See what I'm getting at?

Just get out of the house.  Engage others... ask a question... compliment them on their product.  You don't have to make the all day committment of school again, but you need the interaction with other people on a schedule you can make and follow with baby steps.  Rather than an all day thing that stresses you, try some one hour things.

Write... keep a journal.  Sometimes we have thoughts that are negative and fleeting... but when we write them down and and then go back and re-read, we see that we may have been over-reacting, or simply wrong about what we thought at the time.  It will remind you to avoid that negative thought when it occurs again.

Drugs can help, so keep trying new ones until you find a right balance.  But there is no Rx for a magic wand.  You must do your part.  Consider your situation like climbing a wall... you will find many things and people who will help you over the wall... when you climb high enough on your own.  Someone/Something can lend a hand, and help you to the top of the wall and help push you over.  But it's hard to find someone who can reach down and pull you up... that's going to be your job.

You are young so you have time on your side.  Find humor in things and point them out... as long as you are being funny or ironic.  Your personality is growing up now also, so pay attention and build the one you want for the rest of your life.

You are not alone... others are in your position, or have been... we can relate, so don't be afraid to open up to people.  You have many years to solve your problems and the problems of the world!

Good luck and keep communicating with us!

-Ken

 

Great points Ken, for many I am sure 👍🏼