Sertraline saved my life!

Treatment and medication
1

I posted here last week when I was going through the worst stages of my Sertraline journey. The response I got from strangers and the posts I read really helped me through my darkest days. Simple words of encouragement and reassurance can really make a difference in someones life. These symptoms and side effects can be really scary, but to know your not going through this alone can really help. I thought I would share some my struggles and triumphs I had with this drug in hopes it can help one of you. It does get better.

A bit of history…

I’m 30 years old, I’ve had anxiety since I was about 7. Its just something I’ve always struggled with but was able to manage on my own till I reached 27, what I can only describe as a mental break down. I couldn’t eat, I literally didn’t sleep for 2 weeks. It was like having a full blown panic attack non stop 24 hours a day for 2 months. A f*****g nightmare. But I got better through therapy, I dove back into work I started a new job, everything was good for a few years. Then the beginning of this year it all came crumbling down again. A combination of moving states, starting work as a freelancer and probably loneliness contributed to this second breakdown. I finally had enough and thought I couldn’t live like this anymore so about 5 weeks ago I took my first Sertraline pill (50mg).

Week 1

I hadn’t slept for 120+, my mind was tired my body was tired and I kept on thinking in negative loops…(Negative thought - Why am I thinking about this negative thought? - Self Reassurance - Negative thought comes back and the cycle continued). It was like this for 3 days until I finally got some mental clarity back and was able to get a few hours of sleep per night. I love sleep and when I don’t get any it makes my anxiety worse. When you can’t sleep and all you want to do is sleep, its mental torture. But a weird thing happened, even though I wasn’t sleeping enough it didn’t bother me as much. I was able to shrug it off and says “Who cares?”…Something that I would have never done before.

Physical symptoms included; Really bad head aches, stomach aches, diarrhea, face tingling, clenched jaw, feeling tied and yawning a lot…Like a lot.

Week 2

When week 2 rolled around I felt amazing. I felt better then I ever did, I could control my thoughts, I got my appetite back in a big way. I ate like crazy. I was on a Keto Diet for about a year but that all went out the window. Pizza, pasta, donuts, crisps. Anything deep fried and covered in chocolate I stuffed down my throat in a heated vengeance against my anxiety. Looking back I think my actions where somewhat manic. My behaviour was out of character but I didn’t care because I just felt so good and happy to be alive!

Physical symptoms included; Headaches but not as bad, stomach aches but not as bad but I was still yawning a lot.

Week 3

I started to feel my anxiety come back but I was trying my hardest to push it away. As the week went by I started to feel myself sinking again, the harder I tried to push the thoughts away the worse it became. I was panicking about panic and I lost my appetite again. Sleep was starting to get worse again which made me panic and spiral, I felt so tired but found it so difficult to sleep. I did have more mental control though, compared to the first week. It wasn’t as bad as before which gave me hope.

Physical symptoms included; Slight headaches, ringing in ears, brain zaps loss of appetite and still yawning.

Week 4

Depression like I never known. I thought I knew what depression was, feeling sad or feeling low, but I generally could get myself out of it through positive thinking and activities. Not this though. I woke up on the third day of the week feeling like all the colours have been sucked out of the world. I didn’t see any point in getting out of bed, I didn’t see any point in taking a shower or eating. Every thought and movement I thought was so meaningless. Then there was the excessive guilt, I literally thought I was the worst person on earth. Everything bad that I have ever done in my life was going through my head. I felt so so guilty. I kept on apologising to my partner (who is a saint) for feeling like this, I even told him he should leave me because he deserved to be with someone who isn’t like this…. There was a point where I thought if this is what life is going to be like I don’t want to live anymore. That thought scared me, luckily I had enough mental clarity to see that this was not me and it was just side effect of the drug. Thats when I came to this forum for some help, and you guys literally gave me the strength to ride through these feelings and for that I am so grateful.

Physical symptoms included; Extreme fatigue, really bad headaches, loss of appitite, numbness in face, dizziness and shakiness.

Week 5

Starting to feel like my old self. I know this drug is notoriously slow acting, it can take up to 6 months to see any real therapeutic value but I feel like I’m on the right track. I can finally enjoy the things that I used to. Relaxing on the couch with my partner, going out for walks with my dog, playing

games…I still have pockets of anxiety and doubt but my mind is not catastrophizing like it use to.

For anyone who is struggling, for anyone who feels scared and alone, for anyone who feels like there is no hope…Give it time. Things will get better, everyone is different and will react to this drug differently. Don’t let anyone shame you for having to take medication, this is your life and you deserve to feel better.

Stay strong everyone

2

Thank you for your post. I'm still really struggling with life.

Up to 125mg ..been off work for 5 months..struggling to go out..unbelievable fatigue.

Bad bum..sweats etc etc ..hoping an increase to 150mg does the trick

Good luck

🤞🤞🤞🤞

3

Lovely post. It’s so difficult facing new symptoms every day. I have bad tinnitus and jaw clenching, woke up with toothache this morning, another cracked tooth? Dentist tomorrow. Some of mine is situational, live alone and other health problems. Hard to carry on but must. I’m pleased for you that you are feeling so much better. Cranial therapy for jaw next week, would be good to have a money tree. Here’s a positive though - dry eyes seem to better. 🤞

4

Stay strong Hoopz, finding the right dosage can be a challenge it's different for everyone.  

These nasty side effects can really get to you, but I just tell myself it's my body getting use to the medication and eventually they lessen with severity. Things will get better! I really hope this dosage is right for you, if not don't fret it's about finding what's right for you and you will eventually find it.

It's hard I know but substantial change takes time! And talking about it helps

5

I'm sorry to hear about your symptoms, they can be such a pain. I don't think there's any shame in living alone though I understand how lonely it must be for you. Do you have a good supper network you can lean on? 

Stay strong Eve! And hold on to the positive, it does get better

6

Love your post! I'm on week 12, having tapered up from 50mg to 150mg these past 2 weeks. I see a little improvement but nowhere near normal yet. Still struggle with breathlessness, acid reflux, nausea, running to the loo, migraines, burning/tingling skin. I refuse to give up on this med though. I think it will work but it's taking its time!! Best of luck on your journey and thank you for sharing xx

7

Thanks for your response Gabrielle! I really think its important to talk about. Its great that your seeing some improvement, it may take awhile but it means the medication is working. These side effects really suck but its not as bad as the anxiety I use to have. Good luck on your journey and stay strong! 

8

Thank you for your beautiful post Christie.  We are certainly not alone and it’s reassuring to see positive outcomes.

My journey has been one of stress caused by job pressures- I finally realized it was taking a toll on my health when I stopped sleeping, stopped socializing and had no balance in life.  The last straw was a panic attack at work and the next day my GP put me on stress leave- that was Jan 4th.

I started sertraline at 25mg.  I’m now at 100mg x 3 weeks.  

2 weeks ago I landed a new job thinking that would solve everything but the anxiety, insomnia and self doubt cake flooding back.  I quit the job.  I’m now unemployed after 28 years of working.

I know find myself lacking purpose and feeling lost.  Trying to develop a routine is difficult.  Going back to the therapist this week.  She had discharged me when I seemed content with the prospect of the new job.

The situation is hard on my husband too.

So to be honest I’m not sure the drug is working.  I have constant tightness in my chest - I guess the lack of control and uncertainty is the biggest component.

I’m trying to remind myself that this will pass but I’m lacking motivation.

So lost....

9

I'm sorry your going through such a hard time right now Tammy. I know how hopeless it can feel sometimes. 

I too struggle with motivation, but I think it's important to give yourself time to heal, regroup and really focus on what you want to achieve next. Try not to rush the healing process I know it's difficult and I know you feel lost right now but don't loose hope. You can get through this and new opportunities will come, they always will! 

Give the medication a chance, if it doesn't work you can always try something else. It's a process but you WILL get better and what your feeling now WILL pass. 

Stay strong Tammy, your going to be alright and you will get through this. 

10

Hi, you’ve had some lovely responses. I had been on Sert 50mg for many years and had no real problems with it. Started to withdraw slightly but GP frightened me! Went back up to 50mg and felt suicidal and now with much louder tinnitus and in the other ear. Another GP upped dose to 100mg, took ONE and had a complete emotional collapse. Suicidal, tremors all day, no sleep, panic attacks, couldn’t eat. 

A fantastic start to December 2017, not. I had to go to stay with family as couldn’t do anything 😢. 

I’m better than I was, back to driving but the T is still horrendously difficult to deal with as well as anxiety etc. It seems hard to understand how such a small pill can induce such potent and long lasting symptoms. I don’t feel much depression anymore but every morning I despair at trying to manage the adverse symptoms. Afternoons are usually better, I think that might be general for some other people? Went back immediately to 50mg and have stayed there.

Homeopathy and hypnosis do seem to help and maybe something for others to consider. 

Warm wishes, Eve

11

Thank you Christie

You have boosted up our spirits. I too just started this rollercoaster called zoloft. It is 4 weeks for me ,on 50. There are days that I can believe that it will work, but more days of what the heck is going on. The biggest improvement that I have is now I can sleep. After years of tossing and turning in bed, I now move only when I need too. My biggest problem is my anxiety, which is the reason I was put on this medication

So I am going to continue for another month and see if there is more improvements, if not I might have to go up on it. So again thank you.

12

Hey Brenda, I'm glad I was able to boost your spirits a little. Anxiety is tough and it really drains your soul having to live in constant fear all the time. 

The emotional roller coaster you go through on this drug can be horrendous at times, I was so up and down the initial weeks I thought about quitting it all together, but I'm glad I stuck with it. I've struggled with insomnia through out my life as well, the drug really helped me get through that. Its a good sign that you are sleeping better, it means the drug must be doing something!

Give it time, its still early days, finding the right dosage for you can be difficult, its trial and error but know that you CAN and you WILL overcome this! 

Stay Strong Brenda 

13

Hey Eve, I'm sorry your going through such a hard time. I understand how hard it can be, yes I do agree maybe Sertraline isn't for everyone, it's about trial and error and finding out what works for you. 

I don't plan on staying on Sertraline forever, (6 months) although I am a bit wary of the withdrawals. But for me it was about getting into the right state of mind to be able to begin my recovery. 

Stay strong Eve 

14

Thank you for your thoughtful reply Christie.

In looking back at my daily journal I realize that the physical chest anxiety has never really lifted, the drug has definitely worsened my sleep, the fatigue is awful.  Pre drug I had intermittent anxiety and occasional sleep issues but not like this.  

Since I’ve perseveered for 3 months on the drug I think that’s enough time.... I’m thinking of weaning and see how I do.   

All the best with your progress and recovery Christie xx