I have had anxiety issues now for around 5 years. It started when I joined the police, I've left now and feeling lots better. I had a rubbish girlfriend at the time it all started and we split eventually. Best thing that ever happened.
BUT!! Since then I've learned to deal with my anxiety by being alone and answering to only me. Now ever time I go dating or get just past dating I put the brakes on and the anxiety comes in to play. Usually starts sometimes if I go out for dinner, or the prospects of meeting their family members.
What thoughts occur in your mind before these events (going on dates/going for dinner/meeting family members) happen?
That I'm gonna embarrass myself, need the toilet and panic, stems from my IBS. When I'm nervous my stomach goes mad. And then that they will judge me.
That I'm gonna embarrass myself, need the toilet and panic, stems from my IBS. When I'm nervous my stomach goes mad. And then that they will judge me
Hi Lion listen I have dealt with the whole needing to go to the bathroom thing. It's scary when our panic brings that on and then it becomes a cycle. Just because it happened once we think it will happen everytime so we start expecting it.
I go to stores and have to find the nearest bathroom everytime. Don't know what triggers that effect in my body. All I can say is when we think it will happen in our minds our bodies will follow suit. Start reprogramming your mind that your fine. You won't embarress yourself and you are in control. If needed make sure before you leave the house that you have done everything possible to insure no need to go to the bathroom.
Thanks, I am trying to do that. Need to get my train of thought under control and maybe get some help with the ibs.
I plan all my journeys having to know in the back of my mind where all the toilets are lol so stupid
Has it happened before and if so, what evidence was there to suggest people judged you because of it?
If it hasn't happened before, that's a fear and pre-conception you've created in your own mind based on your level of self-consciousness.
How you get over that is by exposing yourself more to the situation - the fear will be there, but the more often you do it and expose yourself to the prospect of it happening, either a) the less it will occur and the less you will have to worry about when it doesn't happen, or b) the more it will occur and the more you'll feel embarrassed, but it's key at this point to keep going.
With B, in particular, you have to take into account that if somebody judges you because of a condition - or even a disability that affects your quality of life - they are discriminating against you, and in which case (if you are non-judgemental sort), aren't worth your time anyway. Sod 'em, move on.
If you are more comfortable in your own skin and have more confidence, have accepted what you have, and tell them about it as a conversation progresses, they will judge you based on who you are rather than what your disability is and it won't matter.
Remember though, this is part of who you are. Either people accept it or they don't. If they do, you've met a good person. If they don't, that's not your fault, so in any event you have nothing to lose anyway by making that first step. So what, a person who doesn't know you looks at you and thinks you're a bad person just because you're nervous and your stomach flares up? Not your problem. Theirs.
No it's not stupid it's just being cautious that not a bad thing just one you need not make priority. So how long have you had IBS?
Ummm also because you had a ended relationship. Sometimes we tend to self sabotage before we even get started for fear of failing again. Look deep n yourself and see if you do this
I've had ibs from a teenager, I'm now 25. Was only end of last year I spoke to a doc about to see if I could take meds, as buscaban was not doing the trick regards spasms and cramping. He gave me membeverine, which works for that but not the urge to use the toilet a lot. So when things get bad I take Imodium, but that blocks me up for days lol then the pain starts