Hello Group:
Every comment, advice, prayer, symptoms,
poems on this menopause forum is great!
Here's the BIG question: is anyone out there completely OUT of menopause and back to 'normal'? No imbalance, no dizziness, anxiety, panic attacks, no more hiding, etc.
Would LOVE to hear from you!! Jamie5
Great question! Let's hear some uplifting stories of post menopausal ladies PLEASE!!!!! Let us know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!
Yes it would be so lovely to hear some positive stories from ladies who have come through all this and feel better.
Ladies....come out,come out wherever you are! We're ALL tired. Need something to look forward to!!
Gosh, talk about having anxiety if we don't hear from anyone!😞
I would also like to know if anyone has been able to be drug free during post menopause? No HRT, etc...
Hi Jamie ------ OH HOW I WISH!
Loui x
Hi Jamie,
We're never are out of menopause because that is the state we are in when we no longer have any cycles for at least 12 months. I think what you mean, is out of that other phase.....perimenopause. Symptoms can linger on while you are in the menopausal state, but the big transition is during Perimenopause, which at least for me it was.
I am post menopausal now officially for one year. The last two years of peri for me were the worst. Everyone is different. I had anxiety and panic attacks prior to peri so I really figured they would always be with me as they had gotten so bad during peri. Well, those are rare these days, which I hadn't even realized until I started writing this tonight. Another +! Yay!
Until I read your post, it hadn't dawned on me, how many of my most hateful (yes, I kept a mini journal to try and see if there was a patten to the madness back then) symptoms are now gone. I am even starting to lose some weight and gain my energy back.
These changes are subtle but while I don't know what "normal" really is, this is my "new normal" and I have to say, I am relieved, because not long ago I remember wanting answers and someone, anyone to say this would all go away pronto.
I was certain a switch had been flipped and I was going to forever be that crazy, batty lady. Didn't happen and it's not going to any of you either, even though right now you may be experiencing some real foreign feelings and just plain awful.
Once the hormones settle down........you will see, you come out of this for lack of better word, empowered? I feel like I am wiser, mellower and I really like me now. I'm a lot more confident and care less about what others might think. Silly, isn't it? I couldn't have said that too long ago. I was feeling pretty ugly at times.
In the mean time, one of my favorite books (it's a quick,comical read) was like my bible for a bit. It helped remind me this was all temporary and was incredibly helpful because it is complialation of many different womens experiences-and they even have a chapter dedicated to your very question. You may want to pick it up, I find a humorous approach is most helpful. Humor is wildly beneficial during this time. I remember when I first really started descending into what felt like the abyss and two of my friends took me to see the Musical comedy based on this topic. Highly recommended, even though if I remember correctly, I was at one of the lowest points and didn't want to go in the first place. I managed to have a great night laughing at this hideous time. You might too!
Plus visiting this site on a regular basis was so incredibly helpful. I don't come on too often anymore as the need is no longer there and I actually had considered limiting what gets into my email box and just deactivating my account here, but I am not quite ready. I still like to read these posts.
Wishing you all a smooth as possible journey through this time. As they say, this too shall pass and it does.
Anniexx
Thank You For sharing your story Annie. It really helps to give me hope that I will eventually be "normal " again. You are so right about laughter and humor. I feel like if I can have a genuine laugh and smile once a day I have had a good day. I am starting to also keep a journal of my symptoms and like you have noticed patterns. Thanks again for sharing your wonderful success story.
Debbie 😊
Dear Annie, it looks like a hero does exist! Thank you. I re-read your post several times already.
If you had to clock the years of the debilitating symptoms ( which I know lighten up then plummet again ) can you share? I think I'm truly into this for 10 years! Symptoms finally got bearable last year than BAM back with a vengeance. It's the unbalancing that's most uncomfortable for me. You rock!! Jamie
loved going through annies account, jamie.....thanks for strengthening us through honest words
I'm 2yrs since last MP. Night sweats now only maybe twice a week and not as severe. So, I'm really hoping I'm coming out of the other side 😊
One word of warning for those on HRT (haven't read all threads, so might be just repeating something) when you stop HRT your menopause symptoms return with a vengeance! Something I was never told about ! After 5 years on HRT I had to stop.....and, what hell it's been. Would never have had HRT if I'd known that all I was doing was delaying it 😕
Hello Jamie!
Well, I started Perimenopause with my first symptom and for a long time really only, night sweats, approx. 10 yrs prior to the END.
I had the maybe super duper form of PMS for possibly the last 5 yrs of Perimenopause, so much so that for the last 3 of those years, I started documenting my various symptoms on my google calendar. Good grief, at one time I was convinced I was bipolar, until I saw the actual pattern to the madness and it was based around my cycles then. There was rational me then irrational me. I was happy after a cycle ended as myself would return.
This is key, at least for me, looking back now. As I got closer to the "end" of peri (1 1/2- 2 yrs out from the END) I no longer felt better after a period....I'd stay "crazy" (my words to describe a range of emotions that I didn't seem able to control anymore..ugh!) and the cycles were all over the map, no real pattern any longer.
Roughly one year before the the cycles ended, but really 2 years before I'd be considered in true menopause, were the holidays and I felt like I was absolutely coming unglued for certain, physically and mentally. I was beyond the normal fatigue, weeping blob of a mess, my back ached, developed bilateral plantar faciitis that would come and go, eventually gained 25 lbs without changing my eating habits (now is starting to come off, yay!) and a few other issues that I never had previously
It was almost like I aged overnight, I was moody and oh my poor family...I wanted to cancel the holidays but didn't, as I was terrified as I had so many awful feelings going on inside.
I googled these symptoms and actually I think that is when I came across this site which has been an incredible blessing. I found a letter, not sure if it was on here or another UK site, from a woman who described her feelings and symptoms to the T.
I printed and took it with me to my GYN appt right after the holidays. I couldn't even speak at this point, I was weeping uncontrollably and simply handed him the printout. He smiled, said don't worry and slapped a HRT patch on me, I think it was a Combi patch. Eight days later I develop a huge painful breast cyst. I yanked that patch off and began my journey through various MDs, naturopaths, Intergrative med docs and while some things worked and still do, I honestly believe it my own case it was a matter of letting things shake out for themselves, which sounds horrifying, but not really (of course, I can say this now, looking in the rear view mirror) as like many women wrote on here, it will and does get better.
The fact that you say it is now back with a venegence, sounds like you are getting so close to the conclusion and I so understand that this is very uncomfortable for you. It is a very difficult time as while we are in the thick of it, it's impossible to believe we will ever get out of this, but again, we do. It's maddening as some of our friends breeze through this time and some of us have more of a challenge.
Honestly, I believe it teaches us or reminds us to be a bit more compassionate towards others, as we don't know what someone is going through. Sure has been a great reminder for me.
Sorry for the long winded version here but in answer to your question, from the very first night sweat to where I am today is a bit over 10-11 years. The last 1 1/2-2 years were the worst, but is the signal, it's coming to an end sooner rather than later! So be encouraged by that.
Now remember, I do have an occasional off day, but no longer am I wondering have I completely lost my mind. The body is adjusting to it's new normal. Heck, I am 57 and I am starting to feel really good again. Didn't believe I would ever see this day, but so grateful that what I was told was correct.
Thank you for your kind words and just know that you are closer to things leveling out than you may think at this point. Hoping that you have a smoother time of it, Jamie.
Anniexx
Good point. I have heard that too. That's why I am trying to steer clear of it all together.
Thank you Debbie,
You will find that journal to be so helpful in so many ways. But mostly to help you see that pattern and look back and see months where you may have written almost every day to gauge how you are doing. Most recently I realized that my last entry was May of last year!
See, there's plenty of hope as I remember for a long time thinking surely I am going to be "stuck" this way! lol! Oh my!
I remember some days not being able to see the humor in anything and that used to frustrate the heck out of me. There is no shame in finding what works for us be it humor, exercise, talking, or medicine, in whatever form that may work for them level out for a bit.
Honestly, some days just reading the comment sections from online newspapers were enough for me to have at least one good belly laugh a day. People are so entertaining at times, without even realising it. Try it, you'll see what I mean! lol!
Wishing you the best, Debbie!
Anniexx
Hi Jamie, do you actually delay it - or does it just return because you are not yet finished?
Will ask my Dr. this?
Interesting point
Loui x
Annie, you are my nighttime reading and new inspiration. I've had no blue skies for the last 6-7 months and it was very dark. I'm a pretty chill, happy person by nature and this passage just kicked me to the curb.
Besides me, you are our hero.
I promise to help and enlighten the women on this site with encouraging words like you as soon as it changes.
Thank you for taking the time to detail your story, can't express how much that meant to me. Jamie
When I had to stop HRT my GP explained that menopause symptoms would start all over again because all I had done was replace hormones my body would produce naturally. Take those away, and you begin the process of menopause. Each woman is different, just as each woman's menopause will be different.
I was told that on stopping HRT the symptoms are more aggressive at first because rather than a gradual tapering off of hormones, you have a sudden drop that your body has to adjust to. I was told that usually after 5yrs on HRT, symptoms can be more intense but shorter lived, maybe 3 or 4 months.
That didn't sound too bad to me ! However, I had my last MP in Sept 2013 when I stopped HRT, and, it's been hell. I had early peri-menopause in my early 40's and wish I'd been told at the start that HRT would only delay things, not cause a 'bypass'. I held out for 2yrs before giving in and accepting HRT but wish I hadn't because when I finally stopped I was 8 years older going through it. so, I'm now 2yrs 6mth on (no monthly cycle, no periods) and, dare I say, my symptoms seem to be settling but only just in last 3 months. Night sweats are only occasionally and no where near as intense, just very mild, and not every 20 minutes throughout the night. I don't have to sleep on a towel anymore & no changing of night clothes ! My mood and emotional state has settled too and although still 'different' I'm feeling a bit more like my old self.
All in all, each person is different and many different factors contribute to how menopause proceeds for each person. I know a few women who never noticed menopause other than periods stopping, some had short lived mild symptoms and others, an awfully intense time like me. However it ends up being, there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if my symptoms return, I've had a break, which in itself, is progress 😊
This discussion gives me hope. After about 1.5 years of perimenopausal symptoms, I'm about to have an ovary removed due to a large, complex mass. As the peri symptoms have gotten worse this last year, I keep hoping that there will be light at the end of the tunnel but wake up every day feeling depressed. The only way I can see through this at all is to keep telling myself that I'll make it to the other side, that someday this will be over. All the lab tests that my gyn has done, even on hormone levels, has been normal, yet I feel anything BUT normal and wonder if the ovarian mass is making it worse. In the meantime, I keep shifting sharply back and forth between knowing for sure that I'll be okay and knowing for sure that I'm going to die and there seems to be nothing in between.
Annie, you give me hope. Thank you for your thoughtful post!