I started taking Prozac yesterday after going to the dr for an onset of anxiety and depression that started roughly two weeks ago. I have always had anxiety and fear of just baout everything as long as I can remember but it has always been about small things. Result of being sheltered/not really doing much as a kid I think. I have been in the best relationship of my life for the past 2.5 years and we just got engaged 3 months ago. It is everything I have alwasy wanted. Which is why the fact that my anxiety is centered around this relationship ending has been killing me the last two weeks. It seems like my brain is for some reason all of a sudden trying to make every excuse in the book to end it even though I don't want to. I have a voice telling me that I am gay (even though I have never been sexually attracted or attracted otherwise other than in an envious way to a woman), I have had one telling me that I don't really love him and that I am trying to convince myself that I do and the last few days it has been telling me that I just need to let him go so he doesn't have to deal with me going through this even though that is what a husband is supposed to do. I know it is only my second day of taking Prozac and that everything I have read says that things will only get worse before they get better and I really start feeling normal and back to myself again but as someone who has always been highly impatient and is so in love with her fiance that she can't imagine a world without him, it is so hard to trust the wait. I know this is a long post but I am really hoping to find someone who has gone through something similar and can give me words of encouragement to get over this "hump"
Thank you for listening,
Megan
Hi Megan you really are in a bit of turmoil.People with anxiety do tend to have a tough time going on antidepressants as it increases anxiety for a period of time then they panic and stop them thinking they are making them worse.Do your best to stick with it.They take 6 to 8 weeks to stabilise in your system.Try to keep in mind it is side effects nothing more.l would imagine your anxiety is triggered by the fact you got engaged.Try not to much stock into your thoughts as they are obviously not very rational at the moment Try to find ways to distract your mind and ways to relax.You can do this.
Thank you very much. I so badly just want to be my normal goofy self again. I know people say not to live in the past but I just want to go back to the person I was two weeks ago. I really and truly don't know why something inside of me seemingly snapped two weeks ago and is panicking. I want to partially blame it on the fact that this girl that I had never met before that I talked to at a yoga studio opening two weeks ago. I had said something about being engaged and she went on to tell me to make sure he was the one and that she was the same age as me and had been married before blah blah blah and then we had a yoga flow soon after that and the instructor kept telling us to focus on our inner truth and all of that jazz and thats about when all of the thoughts started. It really blows that I am now kind of scared of yoga because of that and just before that day I was counting the money that I was saving to go through yoga teacher training to be an instructor myself. Now, I unfortunately want nothing to do with the practice.
Hi Megan, I'm in the same boat, mind like a washing machine churning over and over again, this is a symptom of depression and anxiety. You have a solid relationship and you do love your partner and given a few weeks these thoughts will disappear as the medication starts to do its job. It won't go overnight but you will start to feel your old self again for longer periods. I went through it a couple of years ago and am going through it again. I'm sure your partner is going to be very supportive.
The thing to do Megan is not make any rash decisions when your in this frame of mind, your relationship is not going to end, you will get through this.
Neil
Megan don't rule anything out yet You have not lost your old self you are just struggling at the moment.Do not dwell on the past or you will drive yourself crazy.Take it one day at a time and even though you don't want to go to yoga at this time use it as a tool in the house to calm your mind and regulate your breathing.
That's what my mom keeps telling me to do.. "not to do anything I will regret" and I don't want to break up with him but it is just so hard to be around him right now and love him the way I should when I am feeling this way. Thank you for some reassurance. I know I will be okay from what everyone tells me, it just unfortunately is so hard to believe while you are going through the tough times.
I might try and do some light yoga at home or at least try and go to the gym today. I know that exercise really helps with depression and I worked out fairly regulary before all of this. It is just so hard right now to want to be active. It's a struggle to just make myself come to work but unfortunately I have to pay bills!
Exercise is the best thing you can do.Force yourself out.Don't stop doing the things you used to enjoy.Keep pushing yourself however you probably won't enjoy it at the moment but you will again.Do the best you can and don't be too hard on yourself and talk to your fiance about how you are and get the support you need at this time
I have definitely been open and honest with him about all of the thoughts/feelings I've been having and I know that it can't be easy for him to hear some of them. He has been very supportive though and keeps assuring me that I'll be better and back to my old self, that it just takes time.
Smart man hold on to him haha.Good you are doing everything you can do just find ways to relax like meditation, mindfulness and try to be patient with the medication.
He is great. Yesterday when I finally decided to go to work he said, "Make way for a positve day!" and I have been repeating it to myself since!
There you go keep going you have got this.