Ok, for one, I have 4gfs who have had multiple babies through vaginal delivery w herpes and all babies are healthy. They put you on antivirals your last trimester, in preparation for delivery. I promise you, this will be OK.
Getting herpes is most definitely a grieving process for sure. You will go through all the stages of grieving, it is normal to feel this way and you will come to a point of realizing, it isn't that big of a deal. Everyone also fears their recurrents and I promise you, they are nothing like your primary. The only reason I will know I'm having a recurrent that's not on my vagina, but on my lower inside buttcheeks, is cause it'll itxh a little and then I'll feel a little bump or two. It goes away in 2-3 days, as long as I take Epsom salt baths the days I have it. I can go about doing whatever I want, working out, biking, everything. The only reason I ever found a SI gle bumo on my vagina during recurrents, is because I would check the next morning, as I learned drinkong lots of liquor and staying out to the wee hrs partying, is a trigger for me. Had I not looked, I'd not known I had a single red bump on my recurrents.
For some, their period is a trigger. I never broke out on the outside during my periods, but on the third day it'd feel sensitive to put a tampon in or take out and it would leave a circular discoloration on the front, on the same spot every time. The internal sore doesn't hurt at all, just discomfort inserting and removing a tampon. I've not met anyone that has had that same problem yet.
I will have has this a yr next month and my last two periods I didn't have an OB at all.
I highly recommend starting a good probiotic to take daily. I had a severe primary so bad, I had severe nerve pain down my legs and buttock and felt like a burn victim and counted 22 external sores. Life was hell for me and I had to go to the ER and get on anticonvulsants for the nerve pain. I was on it for like 4 months and never thought my life would be normal again.
When the burning stopped, I still had pain that was bearable in my tailbone and a dull ache in my buttock, but had strange nerve sensations nonstop every day, like tingling, crawling, pins and needles, burning for a few seconds, but it was like 20xs a day.
I started taking probiotics and after a couple months it stopped. Now I have zero to only a couple nerve sensations for a second once a week or less. I thought my recurrents were gonna be like this always. I couldn't sit up for two weeks and I'm here to tell you, that won't be the case, so relax.
70% of our immune system is in our guts and the garbage we eat disrupts that balance in our gut, making our immune system not as effective.
Out of all my gfs w it, I'm the only one that has these symptoms. Most have gone 2-10yrs w no OB... I have a bad immune system from autoimmune diseases I have.
Just be patient, its this bad now because you have no antibodies to it, so it allowed the virus to get out of control. Once you build some up, you'll be fine, don't worry. Make sure you follow the bath and bactine and Vaseline adcqixe I gave. Sitting in a shallow bath and peeing helps as well.