What Helps?.....

Women's health
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Hi ladies

I don't know if there is a thread where we can share what helps with some of the symptoms or what gets us through, but I'm hoping we can pool any tips. I'm 43, mother of 1 with primary ovarian failure diagnosed since 16.....basically menopausal forever. I've been on bhrt for 3 months. These are some things which I think have helped:

- taking the bhrt is now starting to get results. I'm still anxious but it's not crippling as it was.

- walking. I walk a few km every day, usually in the morning to help with the anxiety.

- cycling. I got a new bike, so getting out on that really has made a difference. Its so much effort and concentration to stay on the flipping thing, that I forget for a while that I'm sometimes unhinged!

- any kind of short cardio. I'll try anything, and a burst of effort raises my heart rate and even if I'm then face down in the sofa, I feel I tried!

- GP. I spent such a long time trying not to be a pain in the butt at my local surgery, but now I don't care. If I'm not happy with meds, I phone them. If I need to see them, I phone them.... I've given up on worrying about being an inconvenience, now I'm getting my moneys worth!

- homeopathy. I've been seeing one for years, but the combination of counselling and natural therapies works for me even if I spend the hour crying and wallowing!

- mindfulness. I have the Headspace app on my phone, and every day even if for just 10 mins I create a bit of space in my mind which isn't plagued by insecurity

- Internet. I try to use it to support my own research and not for taking quizzes to establish how bonkers I am or whether the pain in my neck is menopause or a thrombosis

- menopause society. The organisation has a patient arm with an advisory service. So I can access a specialist nurse who helps.

- forcing myself upright. Like everyone else , sometimes I'd like to set up home in a small cave until I feel better but it ain't gonna happen. So if I'm asked to go out... I go. I hardly ever want to and would rather stay in and watch judge judy, but the longer I do that I think the longer I'll suffer.

Have you get any top tips ladies?

Sara xxx

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Hi Sassy you seem to be doing really well sounds like you keep yourself really fit i think thats great .Also good tips on here for everyone i havent got any good tips but i think you have given me some good tips well done keep up the good work thankyou for sharing .

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Hi Kim, Thankyou. Just thought it would be good to have a positive list to share.... We all share a long list of symptoms that this brings. Tbh, the fitness bit is new.... 6 months ago I'm sure I was made up purely of pastry, but I've been eating right and I think it's helped. Good luck in your journey too xx P. S, not recommending but it's funny that with the very occasional glass of wine I can feel the angst lifting. Obviously I can't do that full time, but wish I could x

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Hi sassy.  You have replied to many of my concerns and I stumbled upon this one of yours.  I have much of the same coping strategies you do, Make myself go out sometimes, need alone time to rejuvenate or just veg out at the ceiling and NOT google.  I SWEAR if they took it away I'd be 90% better.  Ignorance is bliss sometimes I think.

I do not understand for the life of me why anything you look up on goodle is STRAIGHT directed to a cancer diagnosis or some sinister disease.  I was told it is because people who are NOT concerned don't use google/internet to look up things they are happy or not worried about.  Which make sense.  You type in something and depending on your wording you get what you ask for.  You can even use a bad description and get an article suggesting this or that.  I'm bout sick of it and I'm going to make a pact to quit googling unless it is for a recipe!  It's simply unhealthy more than it helps.  Forums are great. but I have noticed a few still say alarming things to others.  I know they mean well but telling someone about you being the 1% who had something is unnerving.  I ask myself, I'd never hit the lottery or even give it a thought and spend any amount of money based on a 1% chance of it happening.  But it's 1% and dr's can't take that chance on people out of malpractice.  I'll  share that I am a hypochondriac my entire life.  I just never knew it had a name until last several years.  I expect the worst even though my life has been pretty uneventful.  No major illness or family loss.  I even said to a therapist once I feel guilty for even being depressed.  I have no reason to be.  But circumstances do not decide depression.  We have hormones that do it FOR us.  One of my biggest fears after a diagnosis of GAD disorder is that my nerves and being on high alert all the time are going to get worse in meno and ill do something crazy like women i have read have done.    In their right mind they would obviously not do such things but obviously couldn't help it, am I right?  If that person didn't have the mind to notice their thinking was off why would we notice?  The answer I got was that we care.  We worry because we care and that is a good trait.  It's exhausting but good.  I'm a good person and very caring and nurturing to people.  Love my grand babies to death and My only son. (and his wife)  but I take on other's problems and internalize them then it starts to feel as if it is Me going through it and it makes me sick.  So I catch myself, I meditate, watch a movie or walk, or talk to someone about something mundane.  Our focus is on bad things and it is just our hormones and so I try to make peace with it.  Sorry I rattled.  Had a lot on my mind this afternoon.  I read WAY to many posts on various subjects on peri/meno stuff and scared myself silly.  Seems Doom and Gloom is all my future holds but it's a lie!!       Stay strong Peri's and Meno's

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Hi shawnalb

That's for replying. I know exactly what you mean! My life has been very eventful, lots of loss, illness and traumas which is where my worries come from. I'm amazing in a crisis, but absolutely hopeless with normal life. I keep waiting for the next shocker! I always struggle with the hypochondria, I don't think it sums us up. I think our anxiety manifests in physical ailments.... They actually exist and you experience them. It doesn't mean we have cancer no, but it's not in your head either or made up. Like you say, Google is fab and awful! On a good day , I never have to guess which actor was in a sitcom, or what judge Judy's net worth is.... On a bad day I've diagnosed myself with 32000 ailments! I see a fab homeopath and she always said that I was overly responsible. I never see fault in others, but take responsibility to control all outcomes, regardless of whether that's possible. So I'm always afraid that I'll lose control. Stories about normal people waking up one day and doing terrible things absolutely scares me to death. What if that's me?! The reality is, if we are worrying about that, then there's nothing wrong at all. Those people wouldnt recognise it in themselves, let alone worry and Google it xxx

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Sassy-  i know!  ive been told that too and it makes a ton of sense if you let it and not hold on to but “what if”  if you read about anxiety at all which i have and totally have a pretty good understanding of why a person does it but how to stop, entire different struggle.  i wondered one day how ieffrey daumer could kill and eat people ?? lmao  why would i even entertain that thought.  Its because we aren’t capable and im glad!  if you are crazy,  true mental illness , you arent gonna worry you are and google it.  heading to work.  writr more please.    

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You're right shawnalb! Any headlines that end with 'and turn he turned the gun on himself' leave me terrified! Ridiculous, and I know it is but at the very core you don't realllllly know lol. I think though there's something linked with the fact that I never like to make a mistake, do the wrong thing, hurt someone and so I keep myself on a very tight leash... I'm aways monitoring my behaviour just incase I get out of hand ! The fact is I've never been that person so we should just believe in ourselves, because others do! I don't think reading the news etc helps, it's all scary stuff we cant control and for me it just drags me down xx