What's next....

Women's health
1

Hi Lovelies, hope you're all doing well. Wishing you all a new n brighter 2016. Don't want to be a harbinger of gloom but the new year for me seems to be in doubt, everything meno has taken its toll, namely tearful outbursts, reduced oomph for anything, not feeling right/well etc my marriage has hit rock bottom, have slept apart for weeks now, I feel lonely & not close to my husband anymore....he's angry with me for not being 'right', he says he or we have no life or relationship because I'm not 'right', he doesn't want to do counselling, he tells me I'm the one who needs help so he can have a better life which also includes more sex! He tells me all women manage meno but I'm different because I'm finding it all hard to cope with. I'm apologising for myself every day...so...the new year for me? don't know, I'm done & don't want to be here anymore. Never thought my life would be over at 56 😰 Just passed the one year mark, when will I feel better? or is there still a way to go?

All the best to you all 

2

Dear Nutty, I so feel your pain to quote President Clinton! I am no longer that interested in sex either. My husband is not sympathetic to all of the maladies that I have. this week its headaches, the joint pain and swelling have never went away. He says no one has all these complaints. He just sighs. All I can say is keep coming back to this post.

3

Oh goodness, time for you to see the doctor! There are lots of ways to deal with this and deciding your life is over is NOT one of them! Make an appointment and be very honest with the doctor. This too shall pass. I promise. But you can't do it alone. Wish I could hug you and tell you so myself.

4

Hi NutthNan, so sorry to hear what you are going through with your relationship. Unfortunately men always want things on their way. It is women who should sort themselves out and it is us women again should always be in top form. Even the most wise, mature men don't know how to help their women's heart and soul when hard times like menapouse canes and hit both women and men, but mainly WOMEN! I hope your men soon come to his senses soon and you will feel better. I just want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE at all. Take good care.

5

Hi NuttyNan,

Go and see your doctor. Are you on or able to take HRT?

The poor husband's really don't understand it at all. Mine didn't he just kept saying it's one thing after another with you and saying I was a hypochondriac.

I went all through the peri not knowing that all the strange symptoms were my hormones.

I had most of them but didn't really know about perimenopause. So I hadn't read about it until after my menopause.

I was actually congratulating myself on doing quite well as I hadn't had night sweats and very few hot flushes.

It was the lack of libido that got to me. Lack of libido is an understatement. I was avoiding it it went from being a bit of a chore to positively yuk go away.

I did a lot of reading and decided I needed some hrt including testosterone.

My GP would only prescribe livial (the only HRT containing testosterone unfortunately it didn't agree with me at all. So I had to stop.

I read as much as I could came upon Professor John Studd and what he recommends.

I knew my GP was against testing and prescribing testosterone from our earlier appointment so I found a place where I can buy it without prescription.

Within 3 days of using the testosterone I was up for some sex (the first time in probably as many years).

I found that although my sex life had improved considerably over the next week I was very dry and uncomfortable. Also not hot flushes but generally hot all the time.

I went to see my GP again with the list of what Professor Studd advises. Luckily she was happy to prescribe the estrogen and progesterone. Oestrogel and Utrogestan. She said "Oh Professor Studd? I'm surprised he's still practicing. He was the menopause guru when I was training. "

It took about 5 weeks to improve the dryness and other symptoms are slowly getting there aching feet better after a few days and mood also and I think still improving.

You also sound like your suffering with the menopausal depression. It's really not nice. I have just had the best Christmas in about 10 years.

I'm just coming up to 8 weeks on testosterone and 6 weeks on estrogen and had one 12 days of progesterone. The only thing I have had that I could have done without is a period.

The rest is really all good. I'm hoping that by the time anyone thinks I need to come off it all further trials will have established that HRT is safe to remain on indefinitely.

Hope this helps.

6

Hi thnx for replying, I feel an utter mess, disappoint & everything else. I'm on BP meds.  I've been taking Livial about 7wks now. Tried Effexor low dose, just 1 tablet did me in...horrible side effect from hell, I'm quite sensitive to what I can take as my body is quick to revolt. Other supplements tried but no longer take are magnesium, multi b's, harmony menopause herbal tablets...have changed how/what I eat...more fruit, veg, less/low salt & sugar, less pre-made convenience foods etc The feelings of low blood sugar I get don't help & at times I'm always eating trying to stabilise it. Hoping it will all stop.

Take Care

7

How are you? Thanx for your reply & care, am just hoping this will all stop....I feel totally done in. Trying to keep positive

Keep Well 

8

Hi, how are you? Seen the Doc, had blood tests etc. given AD's but Just 1 dose of Effexor created side effects from hell! I only take Livial(Tibolone)which I've been on for 7wks & my BP meds, have tried other supplements but because of varying outcomes I no longer take them. Oh for this to stop

Take Care 

9

Hi hope you're well. All this meno crap is more than trying! I agree....some men just don't have any idea what all these meno symptoms/feelings are like & how they can be soul destroying. I've just passed the one year mark & hoping it will all stop end cease & never return! I ask myself, will it? does it?  Aahhh Sigh 😥 

Take Care.

10

I think the most aggravating aspect to meno and peri is the multidude of symptoms and issues that seem to never end, its as if once one thing is over or goes away something else happens, its like a wave. I am so frustrated with it, there is a woman who said she has been dealing with this for 8 years, I have been dealing with it for one year and extremely depressed over it. I have no one but this board, I have some friends who are my age but none of them seem to be going through what I do, I wonder if its because I am overweight that its this bad for me. But, I know there are thin women who have issues too, I just want to go back to the way it was before.

11

NuttyNan im sorry you are having such a rough time but relieved to read about how this is affecting your relationship with your hubby as it seemed i was the only one. Sleeping seperatley and being told we need to sort ourselfes out, yes thats me too.  Reading about the alternatives we can use to oil things up down there, its not just  like putting oil into a car engine to make things run more smoothly, What is over looked  is the emotional and mental way it affects us, not to mention the prolapse and bladder problems caused by pushing out a few babys along the way.

Those who have very undertsanding partners are very fortunate, nothing worse is there than being made to feel like your abnormal and need to sort it out, oh if only it was that simple. My heart goes out to you.  Dont know about you but i all the lubriaction in the world wont give me the desire back.  Yes all women 'try' to manage the meno but an undertanding husband helps towards that managment!

Last thing we need is to be classed as abnormal.