Which Anxiety Disorder do I have based on these symptoms?

Mental health
1

Hi all,

Sorry, this is quite long so I really appreciate anyone that reads this post and can help/advise/respond.

I'm new to the forum and have 'never' shared my symptoms online in any discussion group before, but I feel it's time to accept that I do have an anxiety issue and likely always have had, and will have in future.

To keep this concise, I'm a 44 year old  6'2", 18 stone male rugby player, happily married with two children (12 yr old girl and 14 yr old boy). For as long as I can remember I've had 'on / off' anxiety symptoms, however I have never known or been diagnosed with a specific anxiety disorder I best fit e.g. GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and so forth.

As such, I wondered if I list my symptoms people can relate and perhaps enlighten me?

My GP put me on Citalopram 20mg 2 years ago (I'm still on it) and she showed no interest to understand my 'type' of anxiety so I'm exploring this in order to understand the underlying source of my anxiety and endeavor to come off medication.

My symptoms are:

1. Anxious if I am unable to exit somewhere - this has caused me anxiety in cinemas, restaurants and worst of all on aeroplanes.

2. Fear of travelling abroad - ironically I am well traveled as I work in IT and have been to India, US, all around Europe. However, I had a really bad experience 20 years ago when, for no known reason, I had a massive anxiety attack as soon as I landed in Greece on one holiday, which continued daily throughout the holiday. As such I associate going abroad with anxiety - I've since been abroad with my family but I always dampen any anxiety with alcohol, which is really not good.

3. Permanent tight throat regardless of any form of breathign activity, meditation, or medication.

4. Anxiety attacks when not on Citalopram - this would generally always start in the evening at around 6pm. A feeling of dread, which escalated into greater anxiety, which then escalated into a full blown attack - racing heart, hectic/panicky feeling, profuse sweating, etc. ... and for no apparent reason!!! 

5. Stuck in an Anxiety Cycle i.e. I'm anxious about being anxious, daily! So how the h*ll will I ever breakl this cycle.

When I've tried to come off Citalopram previously (over a 2 month period) I relapsed and have had terrible anxiety.

I want to come off Citalopram as I've gained a lot of weight on it and also feel too lethargic. Therefore, I feel I need to fix the 'source' of my anxiety by better understanding the type of anxiety I may have, if that makes sense?

I'm quite desperate to fix/manage this without medication as it's gone on for most of my life from the age of 20, so would appreciate any kind input/responses in terms of anyone that can relate to these symptoms. As you can imagine by my stature and profile, I find it very embarrassing to discuss with anyone other than my wife or GP.

Try telling a bunch of 20 stone rugby players you have anxiety!

Kind thanks in advance

AntonUK

2

 I have the same fears that you have along with anxiety symptoms. I have had this since I was in my 20s in now in my 50s. There may be some people there have been able to completely get rid of anxiety and it’s symptoms, but most people have to learn how to manage it. Is similar To  other chronic conditions  in that way .

 it’s hard to narrow it down to one specific type of anxiety because they are all pretty similar with symptoms and how they make you feel. That’s why it’s hard for doctors to say you have absolutely one type only. People can have a combination of several types.  I know that I have had generalized anxiety my entire life but I’m also afraid of not being able to escape place. I have had a couple minor panic attacks and to me they are a high level of anxiety.  Anxiety is the common denominator in all the different types. The most important thing is with any type, we need to relax or mind is much as we can.

When you said you’re anxious about being anxious, that ends up making the anxiety worse. I’ve done that and I know how it feels. I had to totally change my way of thinking  about anxiety and the symptoms. I started to allow the anxiety instead of fighting it off. I told myself that “I am OK. This will pass.“ 

 when you get more anxious  about anxiety, your brain sends out more adrenaline which intensifies the anxiety. 

 that’s when I go straight to my breathing technique that I learned from YouTube. I know you said the meditations don’t help you but you can learn the proper breathing technique with anxiety and panic and use it anytime you need to. One I like is called “mindfulness breathing guided meditation 10 minutes“. You can use it anytime and anywhere. There’s also me 

3

Hi Anton, sounds like you could have a mix of GAD and social anxiety, mainly GAD.

when i was 'diagnosed' with anxiety i was offered medication but refused it as i thought i could handle it on my own. A year and a half later and ive had my ups and downs, but still now 80% better than i was a year ago.

I had anxiety attacks, dizziness, chest pains, isomnia, warm and cold flushes, vision problems and the list could go on and on and on.

The way ive handled it was to accept these symptoms are caused by anxiety, realise when a symptom arises such as an anxiety attack and realise it will not harm you and you'll be fine. The quicker you accept that anxiety is causing this the quicker you can get over them.

I dont blame you being embaressed at all mate, but i do have to say opening up to people helps alot too. Despite your build, it doesnt make you any different to others that experience anxiety and should be treated the same. True friends of yours and your family will stand by you and listen to you. Opening up is a godsend when you can let everything out and explain to people how you feel.

I hope you get better as anxiety is a terrible thing to experience, if you have any questions dont hesitate to ask

Goodluck

4

Hi Andy,

I think easiest, one of those you list.. Is to realise you have became expecting anxiety by certain times..hence the dread all because you expect it. I realised this cos it came evening. Expecting it worsen it. Same trouble sleeping insomnia.. I finally realised it due to becoming worry of expert recommend if 8 hrs sleep. The point I'm making is not anxiety that came in first place..but our reaction became expecting associated times. Same with flushing for me. On realising.. It helped lessen it. At least maybe improve control on latter anxiety rather itself..hope it make sense. I find it help me outside, if became 'inward' by anxiety, I look at strangers going about their business. Their normal reminded me during 'inward' of such normality. It help to understand study how actually selfish anxiety itself is. Itself a burden..so give you bigger strength spur on greater determine and hope what is right good etc for kids wife loved ones etc great motives.. Better then ourselves..of course ourselves..but it always easier to be motivated by others sakes! Other thing most help too, is to realise this anxiety whatever its thoughts images suggestions is not you at all. See like TV images newspapers. Important for you to know that. Help in some way to handle on it a bit anyway..knowingly it not you. In heart 'now' you whatever you decide by action. In mind a battlefield..sometime feeling listen to mind and rebel on you ignoring your presently thoughts.

I can understand fixing the source myself! Correct understanding correct thinking had affect on how we believe or lack of in our reactions courage or lack courage. They say new network formed in our mind within a month. Depend how many beliefs we weak in or good in within ourselves v learned behaviors. Feed good thinking!

5

Anton

You need to come to terms with the cause of your Anxiety if you can, most occasions there may be a cause or causes that have started your Anxiety and you need to address your fears

I always feel mental health is caused by upwards of five problems, this is my own idea, I am no GP

What I would suggest is take each problem and place it in your memory, so you can gain access to it. Say you have five parcels one contains one problem. Take each parcel and in your thoughts cut each into smaller bites.

You not address these small bites and sort out each bite when that bite has been addressed move onto the next small bite. If you get stuck, address the next problem in the same way remembering you can always return to the problem where you got stuck. Eventually given time your small bites will become sorted and  each parcel will be thus sorted out, the more of the problems you address will help you gain confidence and you will move on.

I take the same medication as you and also take Opiates, they seem to assist in increasing our weights, I am stuck like you with excessive weight, sorry to say.

You can also try diversions to settle your anxiety, I have my hobbies, like gardening and reading, if I can settle my own concerns I am able to move on for that period of time. Like today I have been reading, I have problems with my short term memory so my Wife buys me picture books on the countries we have visited. Like you we have traveled all over the place and have had many unsettling situations in the Middle Far East and now we have a dog we only travel in the UK.

Try anything that will take your mind of your concerns. Also work on the actual reasons for your concerns

BOB

6

AntonUK,

  I think you have a general anxiety disorder. I think you need a different dose of citalopram or a different medication. I am happy you can talk to your wife. I don’t know what I would do without my husband. I suffer with GAD and I take 200mg of sertraline before bed. My anxiety sounds identical to yours. I would go back to you GP and talk about a different game plan. If you need to talk you can private message me. We all need to support one another. I am 45 and a mother of 3 boys (18,16,14 years old). Take it one day at a time. Hang in there!

7

Sounds a lot like my anxiety.  I was on Citalopram 20mg. for 6 months and it took care of the anxiety.  However, I did not like the side effects of how it made me feel, so I slowly came off of it.  After 2 months, the anxiety came back full force, out of the blue, for no reason, just as you experienced.

Tried to go back on Citalopram and it didn't work.  So doctor put me on Paroxetine/Paxil.  And thankfully it is working, although I feel muzzy and heavy headed on it.  So, like you, I would like to know how to manage this

without medication.  I've heard it explained that some people just don't have enough serotonin and that it can be genetic along with environmental factors.  Can all be intertwined. My doctor told me that.  

Anyway, just wanted to say, I relate to your experience.  I'm 56, married, 4 children ages 16 to 26.  And I never had anxiety this bad in all my life.  But I have had generalized stuff and not feeling right on and off since I was a kid. Actually, I was an anxious/frustrated kid that worried a lot. Shy and awkward, which I have outgrown.  Does it matter  what I was like as a kid?  Is that part of getting to the root of the problem?  That's my question.  Because I don't really think a lot about my childhood.

I do have thyroid issues too.  No other health issues, basically pretty healthy.  Happy family life, etc.

I don't reply much on forums, but I did relate to what you were saying.  And glad to hear others' responses as they are helpful.

8

Thank you very much, everyone, for taking the time to read and respond with the kind comments and advice; it's comforting to know I'm not alone and that this is a very supportive forum.

From the responses, it sounds like I may have a mix of anxiety 'types' which seems to gravitate towards GAD. A  very interesting comment I noticed was the 'expectation of anxiety' in a situation causes anxiety in that situation, which makes complete sense ... if you expect anxiety, you're bound to bring on anxiety! The (rhetorical) question is therefore, how do you stop yourself from expecting it in situations that have caused severe anxiety in the past???

My own thoughts in responses to the comments abive is perhaps to try and accept that, regardless of the expectation and onset of the horrible physical and emotional feelings associated with anxiety, it cannot harm me. It's just awful (and I feel alone) when you see those around you really happy and enjoying themselves, say on holiday or in a restaurant, and all I think about is "how can I get out?" and "where is the nearest exit?" and "what if I have an anxiety attack on the plane or in this restaurant?" ... it's like an uncontrollable second voice. 

I'd give everything not to have these intrusive thoughts ... I mean ... who dreads going on holiday! It should be the highlight of the year in terms of relaxation and enjoyment with the family, yet for me I feel dread and anxiety the moment we book the holiday, let alone getting on the plane and being somewhere foreign with anxiety!

From the advice above, I wonder if I should try a different management approach or medication? Controlled breathing has never worked for me, as the adrenaline is far too strong during an attack and breathing simply doesn't work in time. I've been thinking about St John's Wort instead of Citalopram ... I've tried 5-HTP but it did nothing. Perhaps CBT / therapy is an option too?

I'd love to find the 'source' of this anxiety as it comes from no-where - I have a happy home life and good career and I wouldn't say I'm particularly stressed at all, so I'm perplexed of the source.

One thing I forgot to mention is my mother has struggled with anxiety/panic since she was 20 and she's now 75 and on Citalopram - could it simply be hereditary and both my mother and myself have some sort of 'chemical imbalance' in the brain which results in a lack of serotonin ... this would kind of explain why the anxiety comes from no-where i.e. it is a chemical deficiency? It's not learned-behavior as my mother kept is very well hidden until I was well into my twenties, so the source could simple be a negative biological inheritance form my mother, perhaps.

Thank you very much again, everyone!

Ant

9

I think it is hereditary if im honest as my mother also has anxiety problems.

And i find the way to dissasociate certain events/times with anxiety is to realise that even if an anxiety attack was to happen in those times, you know it can't harm you and you can handle it. Try to realise that anxiety doesnt HAVE to be a part of your life but unfortunatly is at the moment.

If you go into a situation and think 'I will not have an anxiety attack here, there is no reason to' then you may find after a few times of telling yourself this, it may subside a little.

Once again, I hope this gets better. Good luck

10

Thanks all again, comforting words and clearly symptoms others in this community share, nor just me.

I just "found" Dr Claire Weekes from browsing other threads on this community. I emphasise the word "found" as I may have finally found advice which I can completely relate too in terms of what Dr Weekes describes, versus my symptoms and thought patterns.

From what I've read and listened too so far (see YouTube) I have never found someone talk so much sense and also provide so much comfort in terms of that we are all "normal". I particularly love her statement that stress and the anxiety state is simply brought on by "strange thoughts in a tired mind" i.e. tired mind in terms of the over-active inner voice. 

I'm looking forward to reading/listening to her works as I feel this may just be what I've been searching for in terms of understanding anxiety and slowly 'recovering' from the relentless over-thinking and cyclic thought process of "being anxious ABOUT being anxious" ... Dr. Weekes states this is the most common problem in anxious people, enforcement and expectation of anxiety creates anxiety.

Thats again all,

Anton

11

The blood-brain-barrier prevents accurate testing for chemical imbalances. Our medical system has become iatrogenic for profit. Research all drugs before consuming. Vitamin deficiencies, sleep apnea, thyroid issues and trauma are usually the causes of depression, anxiety and insomnia

12

Sure, yes I understand, Mike, and any connection of 'chemical imbalance' can only be speculative/guesswork/assumption without hard evidence. 

As I mentioned above, Claire Weekes's work on anxiety is really opening my eyes ... the only real chemical that seems to be consistently evidenced is "adrenaline".

For me "adrenaline" is the key chemical that causes the anxiety symptoms, the physical symptoms, anyway.

13

I have Claire Weeks book.  She definitely describes the physical and mental sensations that anxiety can effect on a person.  We can have such an over reaction to it that it brings about all these funny things.  And I would tell my doctor, I don't know what this is!  I could hardly believe it was "just" anxiety.  

I was so thankful to have this book during my most trying of times.

14

There's another book called "Adrenaline and Stress" by Archibald Hart that might be helpful.  He has a few books out there.