Will it have to be Prozac for life?

Mental health
1

There doesn't seem to be much activity on this board - but I would be interested to hear from anyoneelse who finds it hard to come off Prozac. Apologies in advance for the long post.

My last attempt to come off Prozac lasted almost a year. I have tried so hard...but I am finally admitting defeat. I am going to ask for a new prescription tomorrow. It feels like this little capsule that twenty years ago was my saviour has now become my captor. It is with feeling of utter failure and slight despair that I take these pills again. I feel I have no choice. The worst thing is, I don't understand why I hate it so much.

I was on Prozac for almost twenty years until I weaned myself off almost a year ago. This was one of many attempts. During those twenty years, I was never completely comfortable taking it. I was grateful for how it worked, how it changed my life, but for some reason that I could never shake off, I just didn't like the the idea of being on medication every day. I was not at ease with the idea of having to be on a prescription - of being dependent on this little green and cream capsule - simply to feel normal like everyone else. My GP could never understand when I talked about coming off it. He would more or less say, its working for you - why change things? Just take it, and forget about it. I still don't understand why I am so uncomfortable about taking it.

I thought in the beginning, that I would be cured of my depression and anxiety, and go back to the happy person I was, then when I was 'fixed' I would stop taking it. I was told then it was not 'addictive', and it WAS only for the short term. So how come, every time I came off...I not only suffered the most awful symptoms..I also felt 100 times worse than I did before I started taking it? It is like Prozac has changed my brain, so I am dependent on it simply to have any quality of life.

With Prozac, I am relatively content, I enjoy socialising, I can run a house and 'look after' my family and my ageing parents. Simply, I just get on with my life which is a good one.

Without Prozac, I am anxious and irritable all of the time. I feel far, far worse than I EVER did in the before I went on on it. I thought I was depressed then....but from what I remember it was never as bad as this. Its hard to explain, but it is like it is self fulfilling... like Prozac itself is causing my mental health problems. I panic at the thought of having to do anything that involves social evenings, sometimes I can't even cope with trivial or ordinary things like organising meals, or making lists. It all seems too overwhelming so I just don't do it. I get completely worked up about nothing. I fly into rages and feel awful afterwards. I wake in the morning with a nervous tummy and terrible anxiety about the day. When I physically get up and get on with it I feel better...but I can lie for an hour in bed in the morning feeling sick with nerves, and cannot find a 'place' to go in my head that is pleasant. It is always doom and gloom, and anger and sadness....and recently I have been contemplating all sorts of ways of leaving it all behind me. I can't live like this any more.

I guess it is just a case of getting my head to the point where I can see Prozac as a friend and not the enemy. I guess I blame it for getting me where I am in the first place - totally dependent on it. It's like, I have no choice in the matter. This is not how I usually live my life :p. I feel defeated and overpowered, even though the outcome is to my benefit. Its hard to explain. I mean, what if they find out it causes tumours, or my doctor just decides to stop prescribing it down the line. I feel trapped, no matter how I look at it.

I guess I would tell anyone thinking of going onto this drug that it is like a pitcher plant. Once you are in, you are in it forever no matter how much you try to scramble up the sides. It is not just a case of take it till you get well, then thank it, and move on. Prozac has you in its grip forever. From my experience.. I would say only start it if you can accept the fact it probably WILL be for life.

2

I had depression years ago. Prozac and other drugs did nothing for me. I had to remove the irritant before I could get better. The irritant in this case was my job. As soon as I left it, I started to feel better.

Happiness is a decision making process. I decided to be happy. How does one do that? Choose to be happy. Simple but not easy. I read The Art of Happiness by Howard C. Cutler on conversations with HH Dalai Lama ISBN978-0-340-99592-1 and it has a lot of useful thoughts therein and I commend it to you.

3

Thank you for your response. I have read everything from M.Scott Peck, to Claire Weekes. I have tried to be happy..but my brain chemicals just don't want to play ball.

I like your theory...but I wish it was as simple as that.

4

It is that simple. I didn't say it was easy though. And, I did remove the cause of the depression too.

5

Hello Alice

i was very moved by your posting, partly because it mirror my own feelings and experience so closely. I too would love to stop taking

Prozac,, but seem shackled to it. 

Plese leg let me know if you read this posting - there are some points I would. Like to discuss and ask you about.

Best wishes

Frank

6

Hi Frank.

I'm still here. 

Alice. 

7

I really recognise what you say.  Just wanted to show support.  neutral

8

Hi Alice, I found your post when I was searching for long term effects of prozac, and it really makes a lot of sense to me. I have been on some kind of anti-depressant since I was 12 years old, and I have been feeling like my body is probably totally dependent on them at this point. I have always wanted to get off of them, because I hate that I have to be medicated in order to be normal, and now that I'm older I may want to have kids and I don't think taking medication during pregnancy is ever a good idea if it can be avoided. 

Anyway, I have never been particularly consistent about taking my meds, and I kind of stopped taking them without realizing it because I was just so exhausted from work every day that I would just fall asleep really early in the evenings and forget to take them. I stopped taking them for about 2 weeks without really thinking of them, and of course as soon as I realized what I had done I started having panic attacks. I was able to work through the panic attacks with really small doses of xanax, and now it has been almost a month since I have had my meds and I just feel horrible. I am irritable and get irrationally angry, small things are so overwhelming that I could just cry, and I don't want to talk to anyone about this because I know they will just say "go back on your meds". I felt like making it through almost a month without the meds would empower me, but instead I am just realizing that without them I really don't like myself. I was actually quite happy when I stopped taking them, which I am guessing is part of the reason I let myself stop in the first place. Now, I am having trouble sleeping which has never been an issue in the past. I usually sit up and read in bed,and i'll start to fall asleep while reading so I will put the book down and turn off the light, and then I just start thinking about all of the things in life that make me mad and I get really angry until I have to just get up. I don't remember having rage issues like this pre-medication, but that was 15 years ago so who knows. I think I'll probably just end up going back on the meds in the long run even though I don't want to, because I just can't live like this. 

I guess it is nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels trapped by this medication. 

9

I absolutely do not agree with this post.  In January, my 57 year old sister comitted suicide.  She had suffered years of depression and mental health issues.  She was 57.  Her issues were further exacerbated by menopause, and the hormonal changes which that brings. No matter how hard she tried to 'be happy'  she could do nothing about it - because depression is a chemical imbabance, not a state of mind, or something to be shrugged off.  It is not a choice. To state that 'removing irritants' and 'choosing to be happy' shows a gross misunderstanding of mental health, and is an insult to my sister and the milions of other people who struggle with this hellish condition every day.  Nigel - would you post the same advise to someone suffering from cancer?  Drugs did nothing for me...remove the irritant.... change your job or your wife, decide to be happy and you will be ok?   Depression is not a state of mind.  It is a a major illness, like any other - which can be fatal. A person can not 'snap out of it' or choose to be well, any more than they can choose not to have cancer.

Most anti depressetns to work for people, but for some people, nothing can cure them of their hopelessness.  My sister could not escape the inside of her own head, and she could not take it any longer.  She had a lovely home, was well off and had lovely children.  According to you, she should have been 'happy' but she took her own life at the age of 57, something no one does lightly.  Please.  

Think carefully before posting such pompous, ill informed crap.  

  

10

Lesley, without knowing the full story of your unfortunate sister's life, or understanding the severity of her condition, it's just as ill-informed to say that mental illness can't be "shrugged off" - it can, with strong guidance and effective tools and skills learned by an individual whenever talking therapies can provide an answer to a lot of questions that, as you say, keep people locked inside their own heads.

Medication is not always the answer. Psychiatry is a science and like all sciences, is based largely in theory and as such, medication can theoretically work. It is, however, the pharmacological equivalent of ECT in that it should, by all accounts, be the last resort in - I'd say - about 95% of cases of depression.

11

I cannot agree with you.  However,  all of our opinions are just that - opinions.

In my opinion, mental illness cannot be 'shrugged off';  a horrible analogy that gives the impression that it is somehow up to the sufferer to be in control of such a dibilitating disease.   Biological clinical depression cannot be 'talked through', or reasoned with any more than cancer can be eliminated through talking therapy or, answering questions, or sitting under a pyramid.   It can be beyond the control of the sufferer to simply change the thoughts of a  mind altered by chemical imbalance.   I did not say in my post that medication was the answer...indeed, having helplessly watched my sister take everything from ecitalopram to lithium AND have ECT, none of which worked as she is now dead by her own hand - I would say that at times there are no answers. I too have suffered with depression which thankfully is controlled by medication.  I can identify with the original poster of this thread.  

As you quite rightly say, you don't know the full story or the severity of my sisters condition.  But she tried everything.  Everything. Please dont patronise me by telling me that psychiatry is a science.what else could it be?  You don't understand it any more than I do, or indeed the psychiatrist dealing with my sister who I have since spoken to.

Let none of us make statements that we can not back up with facts. 

 

12

The Mental Health umbrella covers a wide variety of illnesses or situations.  Prozac is an SSRI that works to slow the reuptake of Seritonin into your system.  Seritonin is the naturally produced chemical your body makes and is the one that makes you feel good, to be simplistic. (It's in chocolate!) Some people have a chemical imbalance and need to keep the Seritonin from being flushed from their system too quickly.  When an SSRI, like Zoloft or Prozac does not work, then that is not the problem.  I have a sister like that.  Further testing needs to be done to diagnose other than merely slapping a label on and saying "depressed."  I have found that it and other meds in that catagory work great on me.  However, after a few years it seems to lose it's potency and needs to be increased or switched to a different SSRI.  I had no problem weaning off of it and trying another couple.  None of them worked as well for me.  By that time I had been off Prozac for 6 months and was started back on the lower dose and everything was fine.  Now fast forward 20 years.  I've been on Cymbalta for years and it doesn't seem to lose the potency.  I'm not "high" from it.  I just wake up with a desire to accomplish things and can think clearly.  If there are problems and stressors in my life, I deal with them.  I do have an anxiety attack from time to time, but that is an altogether different problem and I first try to handle it with biofeedback: going to a calming environment, deep breathing, unclenching my jaw, thinking of calming things, and half the time my headache and stress leave and I'm OK.  Sometimes it's not and I must take an Ativan, which calms but sedates me.  If you had Diabetes you'd be on medication for life, so what is your problem?  Obviously you are one of the lucky ones that simply taking a pill makes life worth living.  What is the big deal?  People every day take many pills at one time to relieve pain, adjust their thyroid, soothe Asthma, and so on.  How lucky we live in a time of medical correction.  Maybe in the future they will zap us and fix what is unbalanced.  My friend's husband was not as lucky.  He devestated his whole family by being unable to cope with his depression and meds did not help, so shot himself in the kitchen.  To live with that kind of pain is horrific and I thank the universe there are medications to help adjust what nature didn't.

13

I disagree.  It's totally dependant on the chemical makeup of the person which is up to trained professionals to suss out.  I would never presume to put a percentage on the amount of people that could be helped by medication.  Why are you?  Also, no...electroshock therapy is NOT the equivelant of SSRI inhibitors.  Have you ever assisted in administering ECT?  I have.  Have you ever read doctor's notes and the history detailing what has been tried and the results and how the patient feels about it?  Have you ever worked as a professional with the suffering patient having to be hospitalized or catatonic from trauma where nothing can change their state?  It looks brutal on TV, but that is actually the way it looks in reality.  Very unpleasant.  It is the very last option.  But remarkably, it is a gift.  I have seen complete reversal from the hopeless or catatonic state to a smiling, gentle, person, who is eager to read again, play boardgames, watch TV and converse.  Why?  It wipes away the short term memory of what had gotten them to that point in the first place.  But they and their family are well aware and sign the release.  It does wear off and usually need a series of 3-6 before it "takes" for good.  Medications to not wipe away memory at all.  They just alter brain chemicals on a short term basis to allow the adrenaline to calm down so you may be rational and not weighed down by depression.  You can still be concerned by a problem, but not obsessed to the point where you cannot function.

14

It's true that medicines are quite wonderful and i am very thankful to have found one that works for me, but it is still scary taking something that could have some devastating effects that we just don't know about yet. For example, i have been on medication since I was 12 years old, and if I decide to have kids, will my continuous medication use have any negative effects on any children I might have? Will taking this medicine for my entire life cause memory loss or other side effects? I already feel that I have some major memory loss, and I am only 27, so what else is going to happen as I age and continue to take this? There are a lot of questions that I feel like no one can re

15

...really answer at this point. I am still taking mine because I know it helps, but I am also still nervous about the long term effects. 

16

I think you have to weigh the good vs the bad.  Your quality of life is important.  I know that I was told by my doctor to wean off the Prozac and Diet Coke (!) for 3 months before attempting to get pregnant.  I couldn't even take Ibuprophen while pregnant.  But we ended up having a beautiful, healthy boy, who has excelled in gifted classes in school, been on the football team and won a scholarship to college.  So the Prozac did not affect the fetus as long as it was cleared out of my system.  I know all docs don't go by that, but I figured better be safe than devestated.  As far as memory loss, I know extreme stress will do it.  Also, normal aging.  My friends and I (way older than you) are going through this now in our 50's and 60's.  But when younger, and my neices and nephews talk about this, when something is pushing you to panic attacks and heavy stress, they will forget things, misplace things and it clears up once it has been resolved.  Us oldsters....not so much, but we try and chuckle about it!  Please try to take it more in stride but don't let anyone fob (as you say on your side of the pond) you off on a regular general doctor.  Best of luck!

17

Thanks, that's good to hear! 

18

I recently just have stopped my prozac and wellbutron. it has been over a month since i have taken the wellbutron. As far as the prozac i think it's been like 3 weeks. I feel so sh*tty. I feel happy one second sad the next and then feel like i can rip somones head off. I don't even have the words to describe how i feel inside my body and my head, I am so upset about how i feel that i am trying to reach out to others to see what it has been like for them. I have been on prozac for about 4 years. I was on it before and came off with no problems. But this time around i just don't know what to do to kick what is going on. does anyone have any suggestions sad

19

HI Alice,

I don't know if this board is still active but I just had to respond to your post. I've read a lot of forums but never once have I felt like someone's story was just like mine until I came upon yours. I've been on Prozac for almost 10 years now, but I've been on meds in general since I was 10 years old. 

When I was first prescribed prozac it was amazing. I had zero side effects, except maybe weight gain, but that's a whole other story. I absolutely loved it. Everything was going well until one day my doc told me that I would be on meds for the rest of my life. That impacted me hard and since then I've just been trying to prove them wrong, that I could lead a normal life without it if I really wanted to.

Throughout the years I've gone on prozac breaks and usually once I start feeling my depression coming back I go back on it. That has usually worked in keeping the dosage from rising. Prozac still works for me and like you right now I'm trying to go without it once and for all, but I'm only about 4 months in without it and I cannot function. I have horrible anxiety and my depression is now more on the anger and irrability side.

What I am realizing though is that I may have to be on it for the rest of my life also, and it hurts my pride a lot, especially because I'm a strong minded person, but this is the only thing that I cannot conquer.

I wanted to say thank you though. Knowing that I'm not alone in this struggle of trying to live life without it only to succumb to its strong hold on me is encouraging. If you ever want to talk about it I would be more than happy to. Well, thanks for your time.

God Bless,

DeeDee

20

I have taken Prozac and prothiaden together for over 20 years. Before that MAOIs mixed with other things,and I have had ECT.  Prozac has been my best drug and although I would love to quit, taking  about three pills per day is easier than,say,being reliant on kidney dialysis.