I love music...it is the only release...the only time I feel no pain....or I feel the pain and it is felt in a healthy way....
I struggle with feelings....that is why I drink.
I struggle with reality...that is why I drink.
When music is on there is no reality...just noise that makes sense...that occupies my mind.....that moves my soul....I love music and I am so glad that I can dance SOBER.
When I was younger..I never thought I could dance sober...because from dance #1 I was DRUNK. And for years after that dancing was always drunk.
The first time I ever danced sober was last year , I was waiting for my b/f to come out of a rest room in a resturaunt we were at....the restroom was located in the "bar" area. In the bar area...there was a live band....I started to dance in place....and it felt so good to feel in control of my body...and I HAD MOVES...LOL.
He came out of the bathroom and I snuggled danced up to him...it was great...we hung out at the bar for a few minutes cause I was having so much fun sober.
Tonight we took a ride in the truck...3 good songs in a row....we were dancing in our seats..me out of control.....and loving it...and loving being sober enough to feel it.
Hallo, liebe Missy.... Ich liebe diesen Beitrag einfach xx
Ich kann soooo verstehen, wie du dich fühlst, es ist unglaublich, das Leben wieder zu genießen.... Ich trinke etwa viermal pro Woche...(ich bin zehn Jahre lang mit meinem Trinken komplett unter Kontrolle gewesen)
Wir gehen zweimal pro Woche mit Freunden aus... Ich sage...drei Pint, aber wenn ich nach Hause komme, werde ich etwas VERSTECKTEN WODKA haben...
Ich werde nicht wirklich betrunken. Und die Gelüste sind nicht unerträglich..
Mein ganzes Leben ist jetzt so viel besser...keine Streitereien oder ständiges Weinen..keine ständige Anspannung, Gott sei Dank...
Ich habe das Gefühl, dich schon lange zu kennen, liebe Dame... Du bist eine erstaunliche junge Dame.. Deine Beiträge sind immer gut, ich freue mich auf jedes einzelne davon...
Nur ein Alkoholiker kann auch nur beginnen, dieses verzweifelte...Kribbeln unter der Haut...Haare ausreißen...Grummeln...Gefühl von purem, absoluten und beängstigenden Kontrollverlust zu verstehen....
Mach weiter so, liebe, liebe Missy.... An jeden einzelnen von uns hier... Wir sind keine schlechten oder schwachen Menschen... Wir haben ein Problem, das wir hassen... und versuchen unser Bestes, es zu überwinden.... Große, warme, aufrichtige Umarmungen... alle miteinander... Respekt und Bewunderung für dich auch.... Dee xxxx
I honestly don't think I remembered that you DO drink occassionally....thankfully for YOU it has not taken over your life.
Thank you about the posts...I'm glad you enjoy them...I just keep posting what I feel...because although there sometimes may be no comments...I KNOW that there are other people that have many of the same feelings I do.
I think you are a very special lady as well...and you always post excellent responses to those (including me) that are "sick" and "suffering".
I hope you are having a great night...it is too hot for me (the weather) to handle...I couldn't dance today if you PAID me to dance! hahaha
Great post Misssy. I love to dance but only when I have had a few drinks. Weird because I am outgoing and a chatterbox. But without a drink I feel everyone is looking at me - with a drink I don't care.
I am just back from my Doc and asked her about Naltrexone and Campral (which the latter of which I know you are on). She has never heard of either - and I want one or the other. Did the hospital give it to you or your doc?
I am not giving up without a fight.
Tapering well at the mo - but want it down further.
Hey and someone said to me once - "hey you, you got some good moves" after we had a good old boogey on the dancefloor. (Not with hubster, he has three wooden legs - lol)
Good on ya matey, you sound soooooooo much better - long may it continue.
You have hit it right on the head D - churning sense of sheer utter and scary loss of control. And going out with friends and coming back to go find your HIDDEN VODDY - whilst hubs makes a cuppa for himself.
I used to love a mug of hot chocolate on returning from a night out - where on earth did that go.
I don't like myself anymore and talk to myself in the mirror. I say things like - where have your pink cheeks gone or your eyes are dull, why are you so stupid (in private obviously). But it is true, I want them pinkies back.
Good reading all these posts - I will get there - somehow.
Where are you from? My General Practiconer prescribed the Campral.
I never asked about Naltraxone because I know it would not work for me as it is supposed to surpress the pleasure you receive from drinking therefore people drink less....no benefits? Why bother?
That said, i'm sure there is a little buzz to be had..but not enough for me...and I would ditch that method and I know myself...well enough.
And instead of me tossing out that pill and ending back in ER....I chose to not drink at all and use Campral. What I DO NOT like about Campral is you have to take so many pills.....6 a day!
I only take 3...and I still think that is alot (my Dr. said it is ok to only take 3 as long as I don't have cravings).
When I did drink this month...I did NOT have CRAVINGS...I was just completely STUCK on what to do with my feelings. I thought that because I didn't have cravings...I may drink less..um...NO...didn't happen.