Okay so im not sure where to begin... I have been dating this guy for almost 5 months now, and I CONSTANTLY stress and worry, but I don't understand why... I truly feel as if I am in love with him. However, I have anxiety over my relationship. I have been cheated on from the past two relationships that I have been involved in, but I didn't feel the same way about the last two guys that I do with the guy that I am with now. The current boy that I am with is everything that I could possibly want or need in my perspective of a "perfect relationship with the perfect guy". He is loving, caring, respectful, and just so fun to be around. However, I feel as if I am not being fair to him. I began having a problem obsessing over him still having feelings with his ex. If I even see him look in her direction, I completely go off on him. I guess that I worry that he still has feelings for his ex, or still cared for her, or thinks that she is prettier than I am. I know, this seems selfish of me, but it really upsets me and is hard since we all go to the same school together. He has removed her off of all of his social media accounts, and reminds me almost daily, if not multiple times daily, that he has nothing for her. However, this problem has escalated into a much bigger problem..... Now, not only do I worry about her, I worry about other girls who go to school with us. I am jealous, and I hate the thought that he looks at other girls and thinks that they are more attractive than me... He assures me constantly that I'm the "prettiest girl ever in his eyes", and also that he doesn't want anyone else, but why is it so hard for me to accept and believe that? I feel as if I do not figure out a way to control my mind, I am going to ruin our relationship, and I do not want that to happen. Please help! I NEED to stop worrying about his past relationship, and other females. I just need to figure out how!!
private message me if you need to vent
its hard for you to believe that you are the only one he wants because your self-esteem is not where it should be.
the fact that he removed her from all social media is huge! He is showing you that he is not interested in her. just because he happens to look at her doesn’t mean anything at all. you need to be secure about how he feels about you. Even if he looks at other girls, that does not mean he wants to be with them.
Guys are always going to look at girls that’s just the way it is. you could be the most gorgeous girl in the world, but he still going to look at other girls. it’s human nature. don’t even react to it. That shows him that you are confident and secure with yourself and your relationship with him.
The point is he wants to be with only you! if he wanted to be with somebody else that’s what he would do.
Cut him some slack. a guy likes to be with a confident girl, that type of a girl is more attractive to him than a needy insecure girl. i’m not saying that’s what you are but just something to be aware of.
hang in there and let him know by your actions that you have nothing to worry about!
I think you need to work on your self esteem and confidence.. This will help I believe. There are also books that you can check out at the library to help with this as well. It is human nature to look at the opposite sex-- I'm sure you do it too.You are right, eventually this way of thinking will ruin your relationship. Guys like confident girls so if you start questioning everything thing he does, it will scare him off. Just do your best to focus on yourself and not so much on his actions.
I keep telling myself this, and I 100% understand what you are saying, but yet at times I get aggravated. Because like, if he truly "loves me", then why does he need to look at other girls? I try to stay open-minded and realize that I can not be super controlling with him because thats not fair. I guess I am just jealous and scared that he will find someone better than me.
I try so hard not to worry... It is just so hard for me to let things go. I guess I am just scared of losing him because he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I have never truly felt this way before... Sometimes I guess that I just do worry because of how I have been treated in the past... I tried really hard to keep my negative thoughts to myself today, but when she passed us in the halls a few times, I couldn't help but keep my eyes locked on his to see if he was checking her out. And if he does look, I flip on him... But he always swears its by accident... I can't help but think the worse, and wonder if they make eye contact if I'm not around... I also wonder if he has anything left for her :( I wish that I wasn't this way
I have been cheated on and the best part is my boyfriends cheated on me with my best friends.
2 times!
Then, I found a way out of this. I told myself that if someone is cheating on me he is not worthy. Plus there are millions of men out there and one of them will be worthy.
So, I kept my hopes up and never got jealous about anyone because I do not care about it. If they want to leave the door is over there. If they want to stay they will be the happiest with me.
I am a married woman now. Once you get older you will understand it does not really matter what they do, and probably you will be with someone else in the future because I guess you are very very young now.
Enjoy your life. Give up with jealousy it will make you look needy. Neediness is not okey dear.