Hi guys, just dont drink on it, it aint worth it!!!! believe me, I know.
Okay, I have a drink problem, I know and I am very aware of it. I was at my docs yesterday, and to be very honest , I got too upset..cant remebr how I left. Anyway, Ive been on citalopram a while, though do realise that Ive been drinking since I left home. ( Not al the time- thankfulyy and usually only like to have a few in the evening)
I write here as some of you , if you are anything like me , are probably just very sensitive, and dont want to hurt others, so dont speak out until its too late,,,,,thats when things all go wrong. With hurt and anger , perhaps you drink, perhaps you dont. And then of course there is that inevitable point when something good happens and you want to celebrate.
Okay. lost the lot a bit. I guess I am feeling really lonely and my nose looks huge today....dont know whats happening to me. I dont know what to do right now, I am thinking get in touch with aa...Im desperate. I dont want to loose my children. I am really close to them and we have lots of fun....I dont think wine is worth tht loss!!!!!!! But I am terrified of how I wil cope without it. Lack of sleep , monay cow and all the rest and some.
I could go on, but loosing my concentration. yeah, i am ready for the help now. I cant think of anymore reason. Though think I may have to get locked away for a while...dont know how I am going to do it.
Thats the other thing that flashed through my head....In a domestic ( and so forth) and my mother claining my dad used to beat her and so forth. As theyre children, I dont want to believe this...then dad saying mum had an affair .....etc and its never gone away. The memories of them , throwing things and yeling and shouting and pointing knives ateach other...welll they are no fun. Then the time when mum tried to run over dad ( we were in the car) Parents....I now ,as I cant cope with life, end up having a few glasses of wine, ,,,which then increases in volume overtime, and thats when more abhorent things happen. Ive had enough...I need the clarity. I cant go wrong. if I get the help now, can I? My children are the best thing thats thats.
Hmmm, Psychochief....went to the doctor about my nose too ( forgot to ask about the bruise on my leg) But wondering what this is...My throat gone really itchy and sore now, and .....Oh Ill quit with the moaning..Give it time. I am scared to go back to my doctors now too. I dont know what this is, as in the waiting room I always get so uptight,and think why am I here 9because I am a waister?) and these people are much iller than me, and I am my own worst enemy and I deserve to be punsihed and so on. Anyway, must go do some housework. Hope everyone ok, and if anyone is like me, Ill be here to talk, could do with the company too. take care.