Clarity and understanding when posting replies.

General health and lifestyle
1

I have received a post from someone who told me just to stop drinking in a reply to one of the discussions I started. Peculiar indeed as I have been sober for more than 21 years. There may have been some misunderstanding because of my phrasing.

I gained my sobriety through A.A. I am not a bible thumper and I now know there are more modern methods that are very popular that either didn't exist or which I didn't know about when I joined A.A. which now seems 'old hat' to some.  

I am interested in other methods in case I have a problem in the future. I can clarify my experiences, route to sobriety and what has happened since easily and readily. 

 

Mistakes can be made when posting; I'm well aware of that; I'm probably guilty of that myself but are we here to help and seek help or just to fly our own flag?

Let's be clear and understanding; I think some people aren't.   

 

2

HI Colin Surely a misunderstanding!! Lots of people reply to other people within your discusssion...they get confused and look at somebody's reply within your post and he or she does not reply to you but the other person if you see what you mean..Newer methods are the SInclair Method as suggested by Paul the brilliant guy who has helped so many drinkers in the UK...all best and you should be proud after 21 yrs!! Robin

3

Congratulations on 21 years Colin, that is an amazing and incredible achievement.

To me it seems almost unfathomable to rack up 21 years, never mind 21 days in my case. To me you serve as a marvel and an example that the impossible (in my eyes) can, and is a reality.

Thanks for your post.

4

Thanks very much for the nice comment, Robin and well done on your achievement Colin smile

5

Thanks Robin, I thought it may be a mistake; I started a new discussion about clarity etc. Not just because of your post but because some of my posts have been deleted by the moderator in the past which were part of a thread. I fully understood his reply; I was innocent in this case but it's a shame to lose any valuable share or to create misconceptions.

Altihough I've found it necessary at times to mention the length of my sobriety, I don't really want to; I'm more interested in being sober for just today. 

Thanks for your complement.

Colin.

6

Hi Colin,

I agree with Robin, I think it is a misposting error.

I take your point, but by the nature of this forum, some people will be posting here who are under the influence when they do.  Names, details, circumstances can get confused at the best of times.  Add alcohol to the mix and it multiplies....

Not a criticism of anyone, just the nature of an alcohol consumption forum, that's all.

Joanna.

7

Hi BK522, thank you; I take it one day at a time, I try not to mention the 'over 21' years bit as it won't mean anything if I drink tomorrow. I'm not being contrary or flippant but I'm just glad I didn't drink today; I don't think about being proud. Maybe I should, i just don't.

Thanks again.  

8

Yes, of course. I did think it may have been a mistake and said so. I get confused and make mistakes too naturally but I did have a couple of what I thought were worthwhile posts deleted because they were part of a thread.

i understood and the moderator was kind enough to make my position clear. It has left me feeling a little defensive though.

Thanks again. Colin.

 

9

Yes thanks joanna, I did think it may be a mistake and did mention that. I had some posts deleted because I posted in a thread which obviously contained negative comments but the moderator was kind enough to absolve me of any untoward comments. It left me feeling a little defensive though.

I agree with you, I've been around long enough to have a good idea when people are posting whilst under the influence. And of course I make mistakes too; probaly more than I'm aware of.

It's okay. No big deal; a reminder to myself as much as anyone else. The nature of alcoholism indeed.

Colin. 

 

10

Thank you Paul, I concentrate only on not drinking today. 

11

This is in no way a criticism Colin, but I am very curious as to why you post on here.  I understand what you say about "one day at a time", but I would have hoped that after 21 years the thought of relapse would be negligent.  You are a very supportive and understanding person and I admire you for that, this is just an innocent question.

You don't have to answer if you don't want to, no pressure, just curious.

Pat.

12

Thats wonderful to have 21 years.  I don't think I knew that.  I don't know if I was the one that posted...but my brain is frazzled and sometimes I read to fast and don't absorb. 

​I like that you say one day at a time..because even when I had 8 years...I was still as new as day one and could identify with those that are struggling.  I used to think (before I got sober) people with long periods of time..did not need to talk about struggling.....I learned the hard way...doesn't matter how long you have H*LL is ALWAYS one drink away.  And one bad experience (death in family, losing a job can trick anyone into drinking when they think they "got this"wink

13

I think it's good that Colin takes the time to write posts. He's supportive and gives some very good advice. There are others like Deirdre that do too.

Even after many years of sobriety people can still relapse. You can never be complacent. I've heard of a few over the years that have relapsed after many years and one last year in AA who has sadly died. His wife still goes and is 20 plus years without a drink. 

Anyway hope you are okay Patricia.😀

 

14

I wasn't being critical, Paper fairy, I just wanted to understand and you have explained, thank you. 

I seem to be treading on too many toes recently, perhaps I should keep a low profile for a while!!  Sorry.

15

Nooo!!!! Don't be silly pat. You have to ask questions, other people might have been wondering too. I've said stuff on here that might have upset people. Well definately have. Us drinkers, we're way to sensitive..ha ha!!!

Keep posting and stay safe xxx 😀

16

Hi patricia,

It's a very valid question so no problem.

I knew people who were sober for 30+ years and relapsed so I don't take my long period of sobriety for granted. A couple of them were even counsellors. I've seen people who went back to drink because they were retired, financially secure with no responsibilities and nothing to concern them. 

I am a member of A.A. but I have to say I'm not and never have been a bible basher (that comment is for people who think that's what A.A. is all about and I've already been the brunt of negative comments about that). I want to be able to be of help (12th stepping or not, call it what you like) and I believe in group therapy which helps me in forums like this one in partciular.

I've learned a lot since I joined - things and new strategies are available which I knew nothing of but that's not a machination of mine to go back to drinking. It's great that there has been much progress made. 

I live in a developing country in Asia where the norm for most ex-pats is to spend most of their time in bars. Not all of them but I would say most - I live in a tourist resort so you can imagine what most of the tourists do; especially backpackers of all ages. 

As far as I know, there is only one A.A. group in this country and it's 250 km away. I have a business so I cannot spare the time to travel there which would involve an overnight stay each time I went.

Booze is very cheap here, prescription drugs are avaiable over the counter; everything from diazepam to methadone and probably others besides. Any class drug is easily obtainable; hard drugs are unlawful but then there are powers that be who are involved in that scene. I can't say too much about that on line.

I work as hard as I can and hope to semi-retire in a few years as I've spent most of my life in the construction industry (still do) and now I find it tiring and more tiring the older I get. I suffer from wear and tear which, coupled with my age is frustrating knowing that I can't do the things I want and enjoy doing where construction is concerned.

I know that retirement can be a shock to the system for some and can lead to drinking out of boredom. Not so much of a problem for me as I'm a musician (always a passion) but have arthritis so maybe one day my fingers and my concentration will let me down. So that'll mean the piano and guitars will sit collecting dust.

Some may say I'm putting the cart before the horse; I know how cunning alcohol can be so I'm not preparing myself for a future assault on it again; my wish is to help others and to protect myself.

For me, the two have always gone hand in hand for a long time so it's important for me and much more profitable than watching t.v. (not that there's much to watch) It also provides me with social intercourse with people who speak the same language.

Colin.

     

 

17

Absolutely! a great post. Perfect! No, it wasn't you who posted.

Regards, biggrin 

 

18

Hi, me again. lol.

Sorry to hear about the guy who died. A few of my A.A. friends died but only one because of relapse that i knew about.

What you say is true; one day sober or 40 years....... we're only one drink away.

Thanks for your kind comment about me.

take care and keep posting patricia as P/f said.

19

Hi patricia,

P/f mentioned me in a post to you so I'll second what she said; keep posting - I believe we missed learning periods in our lives because of our drinking then when we stop or cut down we begin to realise what we didn't learn; dealing with our sensitivities being one of them.

i think some people replace the missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle with anger or whatever - don't back off, I believe you're learning to deal with things you missed. I am too.

Be brave and get stuck in. 

Colin.