Dependent Personality Disorder Struggles

Mental health
1

Hey everybody. Hope you are all having a good day. A couple of months ago I was diagnosed with a personality disorder with dependent features. It is very similar to dependent personality disorder, just the I am not physically dependent on people and did not meet all the qualifications to have dependent personality disorder (DPD). Anyways, basically my main issue is that I am very emotionally dependent on my girlfriend, and when I don't see her everyday, I get sad. It's like I don't know what to do without her. While I love my girlfriend so much, I want to learn to be able to cope with not being able to see her all the time without crying hysterically. Sometimes I feel like my life is purposeless without her. Also, my girlfriend is one to travel a lot and sometimes she goes on vacation for a couples days and I'm stuck home. She recently went on vacation and I spent everyday crying and feeling super depressed. Another things I struggle with is if my girlfriend doesn't text me back for a couple hours I get REALLY anxious. I just sometimes feel like I'm going insane and like my girlfriend is my lifeline. I really need to learn to be somewhat more independent. Some things I've found that have somewhat helped me so far are exercise, gardening, and reading. Just curious is any of you guys have a similar diagnosis and are going through the same things. A lot of people don't understand and just ask me why I'm so clingy... I just want someone to understand. If you have any suggestions for ways to cope please let me know.

Best,

Sarah

2

Hey Sarah, sorry you're going through a tough time. It's definitely your condition that makes you think, feel and act the way you do. I'm the same in asmuch as I don't particularly enjoy my own company or being alone. Almost as though, when no one is there, I'll disappear. It almost as though we need another person to validate us and for constant reassurance. I know you love your girlfriend but that aside, you feel this attachment to her intensely. And this of course rakes up all the other over-emotions that you feel. Them you're in turmoil. Psychiatrists say it's to do with abandonment issues. I dunno, it's up for debate I suppose. I think it's a mixture of genes and nurture. Who knows why one person is fiercely independent and another is indecisive and dependant? Or low self-esteem. That's another one I've heard. I really do feel for you, I'm glad you write in Sarah it always helps to know you are not alone and the only one suffering. I think that it's good that you are keeping busy and when you feel really upset just remind yourself of the truth. Which is that you feel this bad because of your condition. That your girlfriend loves and misses you just as much and "it will pass" message me anytime Sweetheart. Donna xxx

3

Thank you so much for your sweet reply, I’m rereading it in a time of turmoil and it really helps me feel better.