After 3 months suffering from a bad bout of depression I started to feel great and this lasted a month but the past two days the depression has come back again. Has anyone else suffered like this. So frustrating to feel bad again
Do you have any idea what triggers there have been over the past couple of days?
There hasn't been anything major to make me feel like this again. My dad is in hospital but he is fine and I'm not worried about him. I'm just so frustrated that I was feeling so well and I've gone back down again. Do you suffer with depression?
Hi Kat. did anything happen to bring it back or did it just appear for noi reason?
Nothing I can think of has bought it back. I was back to my happy normal self but just came crashing back down. I don't want to put all this on my family again. They are very supportive and I feel very guilty for feeling like this again.
I do, yes. Anxiety too, but the depression is a symptom of my GAD relative to whatever environment I happen to be in at the time. In terms of self-diagnosis, I've had far worse but as it turns out, it's just me ruminating over what it is I might have rather than what actually exists.
I ask because my depression - even subconsciously, things affect me even without realising what it is that brought the depression on. How I get through it (obviously after the period where I am so withdrawn, I barely leave my bedroom for days) is by analysing it and seeing what it was that triggered it. At first, there doesn't appear to be anything but then I remember that, "I went to [insert place] and that reminded me of [past event]" or something similar. Dreams are familiar places where I'm reminded of lots of past events that I never thought existed in my mind - sometimes scary, often upsetting, terribly troubling but mostly fascinating. Like the other night, I saw a person in a dream that I hadn't seen or thought about since I was 8 years old and yet I woke up and it made me think, 'hang on, am I still thinking about that?'
Ruminating is something that comes with depression. When I felt good I was still thinking of how bad a felt when I was depressed. Perhaps I've been overdoing things but I just can't think of anything that has bought me down again. My poor husband is so very supportive. I thought I could try and keep it from him but I couldn't. I feel so guilty, he keeps telling me to stop feeling guilty and that I can't help it. I'm hoping this is just a blip.
Hi Kat, I too thought I was ok yesterday, but today, wow I'm lost again and full of wierd thoughts again ( arggggh )
It's awful and so frustrating isn't it. I was back to feeling normal after 3 months of absolute hell but as I said, yesterday it all come back with a vengence. I feel I'm back to square one. No appetite now after eating really well. I just don't know what to do.
How long have you been suffering from depression?
Hi Kat. I am sure you know this but I will say it anyway. YOU cannot help being ill so you must not feel guilty. You are verylucky that you have a supportive family - when I went through depression a long time ago I had nobody at all, so please do hold onto that and count your blessings there, and they love you , so to them it is not an inconveneicen or a chore, it is part of loving you, just as I am sure you would be the same if they were ill with anything. So awful as you feel please please do not feel guilty too.
Kat. If you ha\ve a tendency to dwell on how bad you felt before etc then you need to learn how to do cognitive behavioural therapy to change your thought patter
ns, which are really the problem.
Thank you for your kind words. I know I can't help it and it is an illness. I'm very lucky to have a supportive family. I've tried cbt in the past but I didn't feel it did me much good. Perhaps I should try a different way of thinking. Its very hard not to think back at how bad I felt. I know I can feel well again and I should be thinking of that. Thanks again carmel.
Hi Christina, I have a very supportive family who have been so understanding. I'm on medication which I thought was working well. I will just have to ride through it.
Have you considered that it might be the wrong medication, or alternatively that it might be the fact you're taking medication when otherwise introducing some lifestyle changes might make you feel better?
Immediately when you feel depression, I know what it's like to feel as though you don't want to live let alone open a door and go for a walk but if you can get past that and break the cycle, the rewards can be great.
You were saying you felt terrible some months before, then felt better, now feel terrible again - what was it that changed in your life for you to feel better?
Hi Christina, did you mean your reply for me as I've seen you've replied to another discussion with the same thing. I was a bit confused by your reply to me. If I'm wrong then I apologise.
I went on holiday at the beginning of july which I was dreading. It was booked before I was ill. I felt the depression lift and I had been well since. I know that I can come out of a depression as quickly as I go into it so I'm now telling myself just to ride through this blip. Thank you for your replies it's a great help that you have taken time to reply to me. How are you feeling?
Holidays are expensive though, to be fair. I'd suggest doing something similar that doesn't cost as much but offers the same - it's called 'escape'; a change of scenery, a change of environment; anything that gets you out of the four walls. That'd be a very positive step. Once you feel you can make those positive steps, I'd strongly advise you to speak to your GP about coming off your medication once you feel confident about it.
A crutch can only be walked on for so long before it becomes a burden and changes your ability to walk for yourself.
I'm alright today though, thanks Kat 
I can't face doing anything at the moment. The doctors say not to come off medication for a good while after feeling better so that is not an option for me yet. Thank you for your wise words.
I was on mirtazapine for 5 1/2 years - that was my crutch. Then in July 2011, I had a solid month of positivity; saw a concert at Jodrell Bank, celebrated my birthday by going to Donington to watch the touring cars, spent the remainder of my time in and around Snowdonia with my ex-girlfriend.
Basically, I engaged in every positive activity I could think of. I felt comfortable saying to my doctor (after a long period of reducing the dose) "I'm coming off them". A good doctor would not advise you to stay on them - a good doctor would support your independent decision. I had a good doctor.
I took a month away from my ex-girlfriend, I came off the medication and I got (without exaggerating) 3 hours sleep maximum for an entire month. Then, towards the end of the month, I met up with my ex again, got back into a healthy sleep pattern and that was me off the crutch. It was the best thing I've ever done in my life and the greatest thing I've ever achieved - I felt like I'd won. Incidentally, it didn't stop me being depressed but by becoming self-reliant during August, I learned far better ways of coping whenever I did become depressed. It also gave me the opportunity to do more with my life, but that was down to the subjective experience I had with the side effects more than anything.
Learning to cope with depression, or sensing the signs before you become depressed, is far more productive than allowing the depression to consume you to the point where you are told medication is the answer. It isn't. It's just there to help the wait between the initial GP's appointment and eventual (shameful) talking therapies more bearable, and by the time you've got to the talking therapies (which are more helpful), the fangs of the medication are already in you and it's a devil pulling those things back out.
It depends how strong your will and determination is. I wish you all the best with whatever decision you make.