Sorry to say, but I feel same as you. I was diagnosed with major reoccurent depression about 6months ago. As we dug deeper, I have been actually fighting depression off and on for 30 yrs, but hid it from everyone. I know somedays are better then others. You have to finds hat triggers you. Write it down-write down your positive and negative influences & friends. Do you see a therapist? Has a psychiatrist prescribed meds? Wellbutrin has helped my suicdal thoughts, but I still hv bad depression days. I hope u have positive family and friends for you. Very Important!! My problem is--I don't and my husband never speaks the word depression. If u dont have a therapist, please find one. I just joined this site today, it looks like it helps a lot of people. Just don't get discouraged, things get better-promise, as long as u have or do the things I suggested.but remember each person is different, you can only try Your very best
Hi kat
sorry to hear your depression is back have you asked your gp what to do ? Do you think you need an increase of the medication ? Sometimes that's the answer but get some advice it's so horrible the depression feeling I've had it for years but now I'm on the up after having fluoxetine this is my 4th week and the tiredness has gone I was falling asleep most days so hope you feel well again soon xx
Hi Denise, thank you for replying to me. I have had depression on and off for years, mostly off thank god so I know that I just come out of it as sudden as I go into it. My medication was prescribed by a psychatrist. I just can't understand why I've gone backwards so quickly after feeling so good. Depression is the worst thing ever isn't it. I don't have a therapist. I have very supportive family and friends which I know I'm lucky to have.
I'm on quite a high dosage of medication thats why I'm at a loss of why I feel back to square one. Will have to see how I go before going back to the doctor. I'm glad to hear that your feeling better. It's such a terrible illness isn't it. It affects everything and everyone in your life. Thank you for taking time to reply.
I think one of the things that can be a problem when you are coming out of depression is that it isn't a straight line, it's a wavy one. At your worst it is awful all the time, then there are a lot of bad days but some better ones, then there are more better ones that awful ones and so on. A characteristic of depression is that you see things in black and white, all or nothing, so that if you have a bad few days you immediately think that it is back to square one. Add in ruminations about how awful you are, how unlovable you are, how you shouldn't have let yourself get like this, etc and it's not surprising that you feel even worse. I'm not blaming you for this, and it is not your fault, it is just the way depression works. It is much more likely than not that you will feel better over the next week or two. If you are not on any medication discuss things with you GP rather than get hold of stuff over the internet. All the best, Jo
Hi jo, your words are very encouraging. I am already on medication. I would never get anything off the internet. I'm not sure that lady's reply was for me. But not very helpful for anyone is it. Have ypu had experience of depression?
Yes, I've had a couple of severe episodes, the most recent of which lasted 7 or 8 years and meant I had to give up work. I'm a lot better now, though I still have occasional bad days. I've been on most treatments for depression at one time or another, and my main aim now is to reduce my medication, which I am doing very, very slowly as I have relapsed in the past because I reduced them too fast. My recovery has been slow but fairly steady (at least since I gave up work - knowing that I wasn't functioning well at work because I was ill was a significant stress, making me worse), but I'm very aware of how easy it is to get back into a negative pattern of thoughts. Hold on to a belief that you will get better, because you will, it just won't necessarily be a comfortable ride.
How did you cope with your depression as it lasted a very long time. What medication are you on?
It's a good question, but I don't really know. Some of the time I was 'better' in the sense of managing to function with day to day things, though looking back on it now there was only a few months when I wasn't depressed to a degree (that was the few months when I thought it would be a really good thing to get off my medication!). Time passes, I guess, even if you are not able to do much. I'm currently on amitriptyline and lithium, but I have resigned myself to staying on them for the foreseable future, though I'm hoping to drop the amitriptyline dose a bit further. I suppose it is reassuring that even if it goes on for some years (though from what you have said that doesn't seem likely to happen to you since your depression comes and goes more quickly) it does eventually get better.
Hi Kat
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I wondered what had happened to you. I thought you were still feeling back to normal and had given up on the Forum.
I was truly very sorry to hear that you have got depression again. Can you not go back to see the Psycharist? I am feeling fantastic and really back to normal and enjoying life again. However, I'm not getting complacent because I know it could come back anytime. It came back last September and then again in February. It's strange as you are more or less the same meds as me.
I really hope that you will soon be well again.
Pat
I know I can come out of it as I've done it before. Well done for cutting down on your meds. Lithium is quite a strong drug isn't it?
Oh pat, I can't believe how I feel again. I was back to my normal self and went back to my volunteer job one day a week. Ģod only knows whats happened. I'm hoping its only a blip. Glad that your feeling well.
It really is strange that it only lasted for such a short time.
A lady I met at the CBT classes phoned me last night. She also goes to the hospital that I go to. Last time I spoke to her they had upped her meds but she wasn't feeling any better. She went back and they introduced some other med and now she's feeling great. She is off next week to her son's in the States and she had been dreading it but now she is looking forward to it.
So perhaps you could go back to the Psychiatrist and he might try something else. From what I can make out is they do eventually get there with the right meds. Do you attend your local NHS hospital? Anyway Kat keep me posted.
Love Pat xx
"unable to feel lively then I think you need to be on medication"
Medication won't make you feel lively, Christina. It's nothing more than a crutch to bide time until the talking therapies become available, and when the talking therapies become available, you find that they are more helpful, don't feel the need for the medication any more but then worry about the withdrawal symptoms so stay on the medication as a matter of convenience rather than because they are of any benefit. What starts off as a 6-month treatment becomes years, and the vicious cycle of medication does more damage to your mind than if you weren't on it and had the right people to guide you, and right advice to pull you out of the rut.
In the longterm, I've never seen a soul benefit from medication. Never. When you examine the realities of the situation, you start to understand just how pointless medication is in the case of mild to moderate depression and anxiety.
To take a different view of depression, my understanding of it is that if you have mild to moderate depression, perhaps with lots of stress setting it off then 'talking therapies' have a lot to offer and medication may not be needed at all. Sometimes things have developed to the degree that the depression means you can't cope with that, in which case medication may help you get to the position of being able to address the external stuff with the help, perhaps, of therapy. In that situation, once the external stuff has been addressed to some degree and the depression is lifting then withdrawing (slowly, as fast withdrawl may push you back into depression) from medication should be achieved. With severe depression recovery is much less likely without medication, and longer term, or even longterm medication may be needed. As someone in the latter category I can assure you that I have had a lot of benefit from longterm medication, and I accept that I will probably always need to be on medication. One of the problems of this sort of forum is that we are all talking largely about our own circumstances. We should all remember that there is no one right way that will suit everyone.
I have been on medication long term. Some of us have to take it to feel well. What I can't understand is why I still can get bouts while I'm on the meds. But I do eventually get better so that's why I still stay on them.
I'm not sure anyone can explain why it comes back despite being on medication - for me it seems to be related to external stress and dropping the dosage. I have no doubt that the relapses would be worse if I wasn't taking medication!
Hi all,
I have deleted the comments from the user above advising buying drugs online as they were spamming the forums with online pharmacy names. If anyone sees posts like this can they please use the "Report" link to draw them to my attention so I can stop/delete the posts early.
Regards,
Alan
Emis Moderator
depression works in cycles so you may feel up then down the next minute.
don't feel bad this is how it works.
Richard
Same here, I was feeling fairly good, then I started feeling depressed again..help!