Been feeling a little better for the past few days, then like someone snaps their fingers and BANG, the dark clouds roll in with a vengence. Why, why, why??? Am I a bad person? Is it my fault? Is there ever an end to this? 2 steps forward and 4 back. Not sure I can cope with this much more, just so so fed up.
Deaver - what medication are you on?
Zoe x
This is how recovery goes I'm afraid It won't be linear.
It's not your fault and even if it was, so what? Does it mean you have to suffer more because you became depressed? Life is brutal at times, it's hard to even stay alive at times but it does get better, your depression will tell you it won't but it will.
Hi Deaver I know how your feeling I have had 6 wks were I could actually function and look forward but then 2wks ago I sat at work and just cried and I couldn't stop but I didn't have a clue why, since then I am back in that big black hole not wanting to see anyone no motivation at all just want to go to sleep and not wake up. So I am back on Prozac for the 3rd time in 4yrs. Its early days yet and still feeling really low and keep having bad thoughts but I will stick with the tablets.
I hope you can get through this dark time im here of you need to talk.
Karen
Hi Deaver. it seems like you have stepped bac\k but it is not your fault and it has happened before and you have always survived and moved forward again; You will move forward again this time. It is just that you cannot make it happen sooner.
I've had 4 huge dips in the last 18 months, everytime it hits you think "Oh god not again" but you come out of it.
Exactly! And dweling on it and re running it and thinking about it prolongs it. GET BUSY WITH SOMETHING ELSE.
Yes your right you do but I have noticed each time I sink further and I am scared this illness will win in the end.
My whole life has been like this Deaver, continual cycle from depression to normal. Can have good few months when feel fine,then bang, few weeks in a black hole, then back to normal, it sucks
Thank you Karen!
How are you? What situation are you in right now? Just been prescribed Mirtazapine - have you heard of it? Not taken any yet - the script is still being done.
I don't know about you, but, I feel as though I have a lead weight in my stomach that I can't shift....
Let me know how you're doing!
Zoe x
Hi deaver? I,m no professional but stand up hun, look in the mirror and think ner ner na ner ner? You will feel so much better? I know it is hard hun, believe me I've been through it? But looking in the mirror although didn't like myself if I thought ner ner na ner ner it made me smile? Things we have to do hun? If could pass my num safely on this site I would of passed it to quite afew people, some lovelly people on this site and we will all be here for you as all are here for me, your not alone angel now stand up and look in that mirror, even put your thumb on your nose and twist your hand from left to right and repeat these words? Ner ner na ner ner? All will be well honey x
Hi Zoe
I am going through a real rough patch once again, I look at my life and think I have a lot to be happy about but every day is a struggle to function. I feel as though im in a no win situation, off my antidepressants I can manage a few months and then I come crashing down but on my tablets they level me out but I feel hard no emotions.
And knowing I maybe like this the rest of my life I really don't know if I can keep going on.
I have been on prozac 20mg for 2wks so far this time.
And no I haven't heard of your medication.
Let me know how you get on with them.
Take care
Karen
Hi Karen,
Sorry to hear you're going through a bad spell - has your doctor given you any advice?
I've heard of Prozac but not been on it... Does it help you?
Don't give up - I've had days like yours which - as you know - are truly awful...Heart sinking the getting moody,......
Let me know how you're doing and I'm here if you want to talk.
Love,
Zoe x
I feel you there, 100%. I've found talking through these fears helps (although doesn't get rid of them). I try and accept that fear and anxiety is just part of the illness.....Though it is hard and often scary.
I also have a lot to be happy about (and a lot of crap) but when you feel like this it doesn't matter. I hate to come across as preachy but counselling has been invaluable to me, I still feel the same things but I understand WHY and understanding why helps me to stop beating myself up.
I've commented with this list before but obviously my posts aren't read by everybody, there are many, many things one can do to recover from depression, I offer these as someone who has had plenty of experience with severe depression and PTSD.
Meds, counselling, meditation, exercise, finding a hobby, talking, being kind to yourself, socialising, reading, watching feel good TV and films. Now, here's what has taught me to stick with these things, you will NOT notice them helping for a while. You will not notice them helping even when they are, but other people will. Eventually, you WILL notice. The key is to keep doing all these things and for now you will just have to trust the fact they they will work. Your brain will do everything it can to convince you they won't!
I'm on Mirtazipine, very strong sedative effect at first but your body will appreciate the sleep no doubt. It passes soon enough. Mine took a while to work but seems to be finally doing something.
Hi Karen,
Just got your message - how are you feeling today?
Sounds like you're in a terrible situation - if the Prozac hasn't kicked in yet (having done some research I've been told they're meant to kick in quite quickly!) then, maybe you should go back to your doctor and discuss some other antidepressants. There are so many out there - it's just a case of finding the right one, isn't it?
Has something bad happened in your life recently to make you feel this low or have you always had these "spells" of depression?
A lot of my friends and family don't even know I have it - do you talk to anybody at home or at work? It's a tricky topic to bring up, isn't it?
My counciller said to make a note every day (this might help you - I don't know) of 5 things to appreciate. It could be "The weather's lovely" or "My new shoes arrived" - anything! So, I invested in a journal and am giving it a try.
The worst part is the physical feeling of being so low.... I know you understand! That's why I'm trying these other antidepressants (my 3rd try - the other 2 had horrible side effects)
Let me how you get on today - I'll have my laptop on.
Always here if you want to talk hun.
Take care,
Zoe x
Hi all,
I have deleted all posts that were argumentative and personal attacks. If there is an issue in the forums please use the "Report" link to draw it to our attention. Do not bring the discussion down to a pointless argument which is counter productive and causes other users to leave the discussion.
See https://patient.info/forums/discuss/inappropriate-or-offensive-posts-226544
Alan
Emis Moderator
Good news . It was me that reported it. Thank you.
Hi Paul,
Thank you for your message. I did do some research and my Doctor warned me about feeling a bit "woozy" so I'm expecting that.
Has it helped with your depression?