Battled with depression for years I've been on Citalopram, Venlafaxine, Prozac & I'm now on the highest dose of Mirtazapine. I have been through counselling & therapy. I've tried self help books, workshops, positive affirmations etc. I've tried dieting, exercise, breathing exercises the lot. Absolutely nothing has worked I always end up right back here wondering why I'm still even on this earth. Does it ever get better is there any point in continuing this losing battle everyday
Hi Yasmine,
I like your name. As far as what to do man it's a tough one. I have also. Been in a horrible situation for almost 2 yrs now. I am some better than I was but still don't have my life back. I injured my pudendal nerve and also had to have hip surgery. It has ruined my life and relationships etc. I have terrible depression from it. I have tried everything. For me I know the only way out of this is for me to get better and then my depression would slowly go away over time but it I don't get rid of the health problems then I am doomed until I die. Try to do something good for yourself even if it's simple like relaxing in an epson salt bath. If you would like to talk let me know. I hope we can all get better.
Hi Charlie
Thank you so much for your reply really does mean alot.
Sorry to hear what you're going through it sounds awful but you seem to be doing well so good for you.
Yeah it's hard I'm trying to just take each day as it comes but feeling worse & worse. Thanks again & same to you anytime
Prayer and god is what is left. I kid you not!!!!
Hi Yasmine. I'm on my third week of Citalapram after my latest bout of anxiety and depression started around 6 weeks ago. I've tried Mirtazapine and Sertraline in the past but they didn't do much good. The Citalapram does seem to slowly be making a difference especially with the anxiety. Maybe try the citalapram again?
Of course you need to continue fighting the daily battle if only for your loved ones. I speak from experience I've thought of throwing the towel in a few times when the despair just takes over especially in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. Ironically I'm typing this from England at 4.30am during yet more insomnia 😫
I have a 15 year old daughter and close family who whilst not always understanding the way I feel are worth keeping going for.
I hope you have support.and there are always people there to listen and talk. Myself included....
Everything! KEEP PUSHING FORWARD NO MATTER WHAT. 💪You can do this! ALL OF YOU CAN! I feel like you too but what keeps me going is my family. My mom most importantly. Hope you feel better and yes it will get better. Nothing is forever. 🙌👍💖🙏☺Take Care
Hello Yasmine.
Sorry to hear that you are feeling so low.
Did you feel the counselling/therapy had a positive impact at the time?
I find when I am feeling low, it's good to set myself tasks for example save up to buy something expensive that I want, or visit places I've never been (it doesn't have to be somewhere abroad or fancy) but I feel by doing this it gives me something to focus on and something to look forward to.
It does get better, these things do just take time. As for the mirtazapiene how are you finding it? I had an awful experience on that!!
Go back and see your GP if you have any concerns.
Take care and Good luck. It does get better 💜
Hi Yasmin,
You said your tried numerous antidepressants, but there are many more out there that you can be prescribed (and stick with for a month at least unless there are unbearable side effects) - and perhaps even a combination of antidepressants. There are many people who do not respond to just one AD on its own. I know it seems hopeless and disappointing having to try one AD for it to not work, then onto the next, but this may be how you will find something which trult works for you. Also, have you had blood tests for thyroid, vitamin deficiencies and folates to see if theres anything amiss there?
Good luck dear
Hi Anthony thank you so much for taking the time to reply.
I could go back to Citalopram but it is know to only last a certain amount of time plus I'm so tired of putting my body through different medications.
However I am glad you have found something that seems to be working for you & I hope it continues.
My family are literally the only reason I'm still here although I'm not very close with anyone anymore I know it would really affect them if I was to end it.
I have started to suffer from insomina again since the Mirtazapine stopped working. I think everything seems worse when you're lying awake at that time with your thoughts all over the place.
I'm glad you have so much to live for! Just knowing your daughter loves & needs you & you have a family there is amazing.
Wish you all the best x
Thank you! Easier said than done as I'm sure we all know but I'm really trying for the sake of my family. Appreciate your positivity x
Hi Rebecca,
Thank you so much for your reply.
Not the first time but the second time I had CBT it did really help but at the time things in my life were getting better so she discharged me after 3 sessions & I felt completely pushed out & disregarded so put off from going back. I would recommend it anyone suffering to try it & see if you get anything out if it.
That really is great advice although atm I have zero interest in anything whatsover I could happily sit in my room & rot but maybe giving myself something to look forward to would change that so I will give it a try.
I was originally put on the Mirtazapine as my previous AD had stipped working & I was also suffering with insomina so it did help with both for a while but now my depression is worse & my insomnia is back so maybe it was just a temporary fix.
Have you found anything that has worked for you?
Thanks again for your help xx
Hello thank you for your reply.
I get that it's trial & error with AD but I just don't want to keep putting my body through different medications & suffering the side effects plus waiting for them to start working when I'm already feeling this low. I
I have had blood tests & checks for that it just comes back as low in vitamin D & anemic but that was a while ago so might be worth having another.
Many thanks for your great advice x
Hi yasmine. I too feel the same way, and at times you do think you seem to be going round and round in circles...and getting nowhere. I think for me it is an endless battle of tablets, they seem to work for a while,then they stop and then you are moved onto the next lot....And you just keep going until, something happens, and you feel better at least for a while. But the point is... don’t give up!! Don’t let it beat you...You can do this xx
Hmm, it's difficult as I have depression caused by very specific circumstances none of which are my fault but I have always blamed myself. I have refused chemical doctor's prescribed medication as it's not helped before. You need to dig deep and think why you feel so bad, it's Only 1 situation with me that's sparked all this. Value you, be selfish and try anything for you that makes you feel good. Anything as long as you are central to it all. I've sadly got PTSD through what happened to me and it's only through counselling that I'm slowly starting to recover. I'm not male so guess what happened to me! You. You are must most important.
its been 8 years for me, honestly iv been through it all cbt it helped to begin with boom back to where I started they say you got to keep it up keep going keep thinking positive even when you don't want to when you don't wanna get out of bed just keep going if your upset say to yourself you know what I don't deserve this and smile distract yourself with whatever I still try these things I lost my strength even more when something horrendous happened to me but I was going down hill I still am to be honest, they say it takes time ive only been trying to get better for 3 years now, ive come hell of a long way though, my worst back then was hurting myself attempted suicide and all that now my worst is planning it but never following through with the plan finding something else and feeling better maybe not exactly happy but not to the point where I want to follow through with the plan, unlike a lot of people I don't have a whole lot to leave behind, my dog my cat, my parents, my boyfriend (whom I cant believe is still by my side) id say it don't get better at all but that would be a lie its easy to say you've tried its harder to say you want it, you can only get better if you want to by that I mean even though you don't want to smile you have to even though you don't want to do anything you have to, if your thinking the whole time while your doing it omg omg omg I don't want to do this then you aren't trying you have to say I don't care what I think I'm doing it I'm going to be positive play music distract your mind push away the negative feeling I know how hard that is I do and id say it gets easier overtime but it doesn't much I stopped doing all that and spiralled again that's what happens when you stop you go back you have to push them out of your head that's if you want to get better but it does work you can do it I can even though I'm sat here like I don't want to though I know I can do it I just give up easily because its hard but it isn't impossible and it does work
Hello again.
That's great to hear that something worked, maybe try CBT again and try not to let anything put you off. I think sometimes health care professionals go by "the book" and unfortunately "the book" doesn't apply to everyone.
It is tough when you feel like that, but is there something that you like the most? Shoes, animals, music?
When I was at my worst, unable to get out of bed and find enjoyment in anything my parents bought me a puppy, it gave me a reason to actually get up. I had something to care for, and he was my responsibility, plus he was super cute!! I feel like this really aided my recovery. Although I still have bad days/weeks I am getting there and you will too.
I know getting a puppy isn't for everyone, try find something that you love to do and really through yourself into it. Art? Voulenteering? Anything that makes you want to get out of bed!!
Yeah mirtazapiene are rough, they made me moody and effected the people around me and that made me feel more depressed. I'm have just started fluoxetine and im feeling slightly more optimistic! I'm looking forward to starting therapy too, I feel this will really help!
Hope this helps and gives you something to think about xx
I have been depressed for over 40 years, gone through the a to z of medications, sectioned 3 times and 4 sessions of cbt . Like yourself, nothing has worked in the long term. Strangely, the thing that has worked the best is meditation that i learned at a pain control workshop . I find if i am feeling suicidal, finding somewhere quiet and meditating for 15 mins or so lessens the feeling.
I live with a relative who has blood cancer(myeloma ) and the thought of her facing this alone is the main reason i am still here. Try thinking about who would miss you if you did anything drastic and focus on that hen you are feeling low. Try to find something that you enjoy doing to distract you also i find helps. Best wishes
Hi Sam
Sorry to hear what you've been through but you seem to be doing amazingly well at looking after yourself which is great.
You're right definitely need to keep going & put myself first. Thanks so much x
Yeah you're so right maybe I should try a different therapist just hate having to start all over again.
Aw I absolutely love dogs but I'm trying to move out at the moment so I guess that needs to take priority but I will try to find something else for myself to keep going.
Really glad things are going well for you & I hope they continue x
Hi Julia thanks so much for your reply.
That's exactly the cycle I'm stuck in it just feels so hopeless. Really appreciate your words of encouragement x