I first attempted suicide in feb this year and saw a crisis team, there was a 7 month wait for a psychiatrist. I've been told repeatedly I have severe depression and anxiety but I hear voices and do not feel like I am part of the world so sometimes I feel like I have something else. I've had depression and anxiety for a long time but never felt this suicidal, it's my every waking thought. I attempted suicide again this month and was sent to a crisis house for a 2 week stay. They talked about grounding techniques and mindfulness but I can't grasp it because all I want to do is die. I was discharged from the crisis house today and I practically begged to be admitted into hospital because I cannot cope with daily life and all I think of is ending my life. All that has been suggested is seeing the crisis team at home, but I'm terrified of being at home. I can't go anywhere alone and I feel I've lost touch with reality. How desperate do I have to be for them to admit me? I need to be safe and I'm not I'm just petrified of who I am and of my thoughts.
The fact you want help shows your life is worth living. I see home treatment. Is there anything in ur life that makes u feel this way or is it the illness only? I was scared of been alone too and I also feel iv lost reality it all Seems very dream like and foggy . Are u on medication? I'm sorry your going through this.
Go to the nearest A/E and tell the Dr about your suicidal thoughts. This should result in an admission with a psychiatric referral. Good luck.
The crisis team advised me not to go to A&E 
I'm on 300mg venlafaxine, 4mg lorazepam a day and 50mg quetiapine. I really feel that this is like a play and if I end my life it will stop. I don't know what's up and what's down it's bizarre.
Does the crisis team include a consultant psychiatrist?
Crisis team are pants. U need to see access team home treatment I was referred there by my consultant for my pregnancy. My gp referred me to the crisis team first and they came to see me and did nothing. I'd go to a and e !
Yes, at least I think so. I don't know when I will see him/her.
Iv seen two p doctors and still no where they just up my meds which is sertraline but I'm not suicidal just very poorly and fed up of depression and anxiety. It's a long road there is no quick fix I'm afraid. U need to go to a and e if u feel unsafe. Please.
NoodleDoodle, wih a monicker like that you sem to ave a sense of humour. Can I say at the beginning that I totally, totally sympathise and partially understand what you are saying and how you ar feeling. Having wait 7 monhs for a psychiatric appointment is ludicrous and totally unacceptable, and recently turns on its head the comment made by the present Scottish Health Secretary, that the NHS is NOT crisis. Who are they trying to kid, if that is the waiting time for IMMEDIATE specialist help. However, what that length of waiting time emphasises is that you are NOT lone, even though you might feel like it all the time. Unfortunately the NHS is over-stretched sometimes to what feels like breaking point, but as co-sufferers of a very, very debilitating illness that is not what we want to hear, that we have to wait months for help that we need NOW. I'm in Glasgow, and must say that I've been fortunate that although my GP is not a mental health expert, he has seen my real need of help and I have been referred pretty quickly for specialist help. I have been to two different lots of psychology sessions both to cover CBT in all it's facets, but the second round of sessions were stopped because it was felt that I WASN'T WELL ENOUGH TO BENEFIT FROM THE HELP THAT CBT CAN.......What???? Don't discharge me when 'm I'll ad need your help NOW. However, that's what they did, and I was told to contact them again when I was better. Unbelievable!! However, ave you thought of changing your GP as a first move. Doing that.sometimes help, as a new eye on an ssue can sometimes move move things on quicker as they have a different view of things. Next, having confronted your need for help, you have contacted ths forum, where like-minded people understand what you are going through. However, long distance (not face to face) discussions don't get to the heart of the issues. I don't know the answer to that, but if we were allowed I would love to meet folk from this forum (maybe in our own face to face group) that we could start and at least we can talk out our distresses with those in the know. Do you think that would be a good idea? Distance would not be a problem for me personally but I can't speak for any others, but I put that thought out there as a possible suggestion that MAY be a life line for so many people. What do you think? Let me know and we can take it from there. Regards Square Chin
I think that going to A/E issue your best option.
Hi there Noodledoodle, by the look of it you have been here for a while. Depression comes in many forms. Positive and negative symptoms and of course what you have said that you feel that you are not in touch with reality. Could be that you have a psychotic depression hence you hear voices and are in a negative spiral. Do you hear one or more than one voice? Does the vioce or voices good or bad? Do they always say nasty things to you or get you to try to do things that you don't want to? or do they vary good verses bad. Iknow it is very difficult to motivate yourself when you have a really bad depression however you are I'm glad to see that you are motivated to visit Patients forum. I have worked for many years with people who hear voices, very, very bad ones and others that could get people in to trouble. Think of what you could do to help you slow down the voices or if they are very annoying ask them or it to come back when you have more time to have a conversation with them. You might think I am talking a little strangely but there is a group which started in Manchester, its called Talking Voices. They have a forum just like this but giving advice on how to deal with all kinds of personal voices. You can also go online to Living Life to the Full website if you are feeling suicidal. There is an emergency button to press if you need help. It is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy site and they help you by teaching you how to change parts of your behaviour so that you stay in control of your feelings and emotions using the 5 step method. Give it a try. Theres lots more I have learned to help others on this great site. Good luck and take care.
I had a look at the link and it only seems to be available in Northern Ireland?
Hi noodle doodle sorry the link for the voices forum is (hearing voices network) on the Manchester site there is a forum too. Manchester Hearing Voices Group
Time comes when nothing seem to be positive, you feel useless, worthless. It happens more with people who are extra sensitive. There is nothing wrong to be senistive and feeling things.
But one thing must be kept in mind that you are not going to get anything from the people at all.
So why not be a giving hand try to be different from rest of world, start giving smile and goodness to whosoever you can give it to, in response it will give you positivity. No harm in giving it a try.
Hi Noodledoodle, I really feel for you as I have been there so many times in my life, but I have never heard voices which I must admit is a postive thing. I think you should go back to your gp and say how bad you are feeling and see if he can get you some help more quickly, I didnt know there is such a waiting list to see a psychaiatrist, that is really not right as you yourself have a right to ask to see these people now, not in 7 months time, tell you gp how you feel suicdial tell him/her that it is all you think about and make sure they are aware of how serious it is. I do hope by writing on this forum it has helped at least you can talk to us all who have been there or going through it now, it wasnt that long ago when I felt like you but I have been under a psychiatrist for 30 years so unfortunatly mine is on-going and I do hope that they can get to the bottom of yours and get you sort out, wishing and thinking of you that you can get the help you need
I have been thinking about your problems. The fact that you are hearing voices in addition to your suicidal thoughts clearly suggests that you do need to see a psychiatrist. The quickest way to effect that is via A/E. I think that you should not delay any more.
Hi hypercat, the hearing voices network was set up in Manchester, there is a link to the network on the manchester website under forums. You have to sign up first which is free.regards Peter.
It does make you wonder how desperate you have to be to get the right help that much I know. I have been depressed for two decades, but in the past four the thoughts about taking my own life have been constant and frightening. Many of the mental health workers I have faced just don't seem to comprehend the difficulties and turmoil of my situation, they ask senseless questions and you end up feeling worse off after seeing them. It can all seem utterly pointless and exhausting and just not worth the bother, I don't really know why I am still holding on, but I do. I wish I could see some light at the end of this tunnel, and find someone who really understands what Severe depression is like. Thanks for your post.Karen
Hi Karen, I know exactly how you feel, I have had severe depression for 30 odd years now, and I think now then ever before there is less help out there then there was before, you must hold on and just think I will see the light out of my tunnel but it takes time and effort, I always say I am in my black tunnel and cant see the light, but every now and then I do see the light, like today I am tired, I am stressed I am in pain and where the depression is I just dont know, but I am praying I dont go back into my black tunnel, so you see we can have better days even if the light is small, you must carry on, try and see if you can have a earlier appointment to see your psychiatrist ( I assume you have one) and really tell them how you feel especially about the feelings you have of taking your own life, if you cant get into see the psychiatrist try your gp or someone else at that pratice, please try and get some more help just someone to talk to, it makes a complete difference. I do know where you are coming from about the workers making you feel worse, but they dont understand as they are just taught it they have not experienced it, and that is completly different. I wish you well and hope to hear from you next time saying you feel a incy bit brighter, take care Karen