Feeling suicidal

I am having extremely difficult time sleeping, i can't sleep during nights for the past 2 weeks, I am spacing out from my family completely and i feel empty non-stop.

I am 20 years old, I was lonely since elementary school till this moment, the 1 friend i thought i have (since infant-hood) shows no interest to hangout with me or even a answer my messages on the phone.

I've also quit gaming recently, ive completely threw it out of my life which was also very hard and i don't know what to do to feel the emptiness inside me, i feel so lonely, no friends, so empty and sad, it pains me so much i feel like suiciding every day during the night when i lay in my bed daydreaming of all the ideal things i wished i had in my life.

the only thing kept me busy this far was watching Anime non-stop and drawing.

please help me

fact that its 3:27 AM now and the emotional + mental pain is really getting into me.

help me

Hi Nocolas.

Never give up, yo are not wrong, there is nothing wrong about you, I'm sure you are a great guy, you just need good people around you, and that's what you are missing, you "only friend" maybe never was your friend. You need to chage your points o views. The best thing you did, is quiting video games, accepting depression it's not easy, and you did it, go for a walk every day for a week, for 30 minutes, and then start running, focused your self in the way you feel the air, the sounds, this is good. Do some breathing therapy, look on YouTube to do the right way of breathing exersice. You can also made a list of 10 positives things, like, artist, kindness, tolerant, helper, music, singer, etc.... choose one every day and play what you choose, you can sing loud, I don't know you, but I don't care if people see me, if you don't feel comfortable, do it in your room, but loud. Eat healthy food, flours, processed foods and sugary foods, are not a good help for depression.

Life is beautiful, you need to see it, and enjoy it every day, there is a lot of people out side, different cultures, places, foods, smiles etc. Turn on your computer, put the music on and dance, I know you Don feel like doing it, but do the opposite, let's play the opposite day.

Please do it!

You are not alone in this, get busy, busy, painting helps a lot, but exersice os much better, go and find a friend...

You take care a lot, God will hide you, he has reserved something special to you, you need to believe in him, and in your self.

With love.

Janet.

Ps. I'm fighting PSTD, panics attacks, I have my ups and downs, I am not with meds yet, I need to take care of my folic acid first, then I can have medication, please go and see a doctor, they will help you, go to church too, some times you just need to be close to God.

What I meant to say, God will guide you.

Hi Nikolas - sorry to read of your situation. I do not subscribe to what Janet has posted. It suggests that you should just get over it, which is not the way to tackle depression. No "god" is going to help you either. You have to take practicle, positive action yourself. Firstly, make an appointment with your doctor - or any doctor if you do not have a one. Discuss with him/her how you are feeling. Be totally open and honest - the doctor is not there to judge or dismiss you. If you feel uncomfortable with that doc, find another. Medications may be prescribed to help even out your mood. These will take 3 - 8 weeks to work and may need adjusting in dosage or type, so be patient with it. You may need to be referred to a psychologist/counsellor to talk about your illness and where the roots of it lie - is it genetic? Is it resultant from child trauma or abuse? Is it a chemical imbalance in the brain? (etc.)

You have made a positive move in dumping the gaming addiction. It is hard to find something to fill that escapism and space. Make the next addiction your mental health and go all out to attack this illness. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, and no matter the regret it is a result that cannot be reversed. You are young and owe it to yourself to find a way out of this depression. You will learn about yourself and once you have built a rapport with the doc/counsellor, you will benefit from doing something positve to deal with this situation and recognise any future triggers. Please don't give up, make that appointment today. Best of luck to you and we are here to help.

 

Hello Nikolas,

I am sorry you feel so empty and you feel suicidal. I feel the same way often. Two people congratulated you dropping the gaming, but I have ask why did you quit? Did you quit because you were having trouble getting out of bed bed and doing things that are enjoyable? I know that in some gamer worlds people feel like they have a community. Are you cutting yourself off from online friends when you stop gaming? 

When my depression is is at its worst I can only watch tv or play really dumb games like Candy Crush. I can't even read because it's not enough of a distraction. Go easy on yourself, and don't judge yourself. There are others facing similar pain, and finding a doctor who can help is a good start.

Hi, nikolas:  I'm so sorry that you feel so lonely and sad.  You have your whole life ahead of you, so I urge you to see a good doctor and get on some antidepressants and something to help you sleep.

Sleep depravation will make you depressed in itself.

I was so much like you when I was your age.  I was a misfit and had no friends and I wanted to sleep too much...I went to school just a robot but was in no clubs and had very few friends, and they were not really friends...just school kids.

Please seek help now, sweetie...if you need to message me, I live in the USA, and I have been through it all...I am now 68 yrs. old, and if I had not fought that depression and anxiety attacks I would not have lived to be this old...I care....HUGS.....xxxxooo..

Great reply Wayne and I totally agree with you.  x

Your story could be mine Carole..   I too was like that at a young age but through tackling my depression and making important decisions whether to live or die my life changed beyond all recognition for the better.   I am your age now and am 90% glad I am still here.  x

 

hypercat:  So glad you are so much better now.  My depression and anxiety are a lot better, but, unfortunately, now I'm old and my aches and pains are pretty bad.  I also have fibromylgia and that is so hard to control...Try to keep feeling great while you're young....HUGS.

 

Thank you for your kind words Carole.  I am a lot better than I was when young but by no means cured of depression.  I mainly handle it a lot better than when I was young. 

I am not young now as am 62.  I have mild copd and a bad back as well as depression and lots of aches and pains.   This all does make my depresson a lot worse at times though.   x