Hiya, does anyone else feel like they've had enough of thisanxiety/depression malarkey?I feel as though I cant carry on any more, I like many others have tried and tried but am getting nowhere, all I seem 2 be doing is making my loved ones hate me as I am always feeling so down and think im bringing them down with me, I cant recall the last time I had a half decent day, I know it sounds like im just feeling sorry for myself but I dont think im ever gonna get back 2 my old self, and as it stands just now I really dont want 2 carry on like this in fact I cant carry on like this
Lesley I do know exactly how you feel. So many days I feel I cannot take another minute if this. Today has been bad for me. Just wanted to sleep and sleep and block out the world,the panic,the thoughts,everything.
You do everything you are meant too that should bring you out of this and it doesn't seem to work.
Each morning you wake and before you even open your eyes you know it's not gonna be a lazy,relaxed day in bed,it's gonna be another day of fighting your thoughts and sheer exhaustion. So yes Hun. I know your sadness and frustration only too well.
All I can think is that tomorrow could be that day that changes my life around,,the one where I feel well and happy again.
I look at my son and it breaks my heart. We are normally very close but right now I feel like I'm failing him. I'm not there. Physically I'm in the room but mentally I'm a million miles away...trapped in my own thoughts.
We can only be glad that we have each other. We can support each other and know that we are not alone.xx
God no tonight I thought I was losing my head.. i cried constant for 3 hours. . I am now fed up of thinking am going to die I am sick of the symptoms causing this I've just had Enough!!! I can't even sit in the room with my parents without worrying and feeling so depressed!! I hate it!! Why does it choose certain people to chuffing get!! I jusy wanna be normal my bf took my out last night to a bonfire all night I was anxious and scared to death I was going to die I had to come home for 8! Cos I was that scared! Xx
Gillian I know how you feel, I look at my daughters and it breaks my heart as well as I also feel im failing them, although they are almost 20 they are still living at home, I feel we should be doing lots of mother daughter things when we can but I just cant bring myself to do anything, today they were both on a day off from work and wanted me to go into town and have lunch and just have fun, im now tearing myself apart because I didn't go, lifes to short and im just letting mine pass me by 
xx
I know Lesley. The detachment is sometimes unbearable. At the minute I feel ok and so wish my son was home just so I can concentrate and focus on him for a while. He's 18 but still very much needs his mum for things like college and whatever..... All day,all I've thought about is bedtime. It's horrendous.
We cannot help the way we are Hun. This just happened and I don't know why or how or when it gets better. All I know is that we have to carry on as hard as it gets for our children because there is no other option xx
Lesley, I know exactly what you mean when you said that you're making your loved ones hate you as you're always feeling down and you think you're bringing them down with you. I feel so bad about doing that and I hate myself for it, but at the same time I just feel so powerless. However, I don't think we're making them hate us, we're just making it harder for them to love us. I mean, how else are you gonna test their love? 
Joking aside. They're still there and we can only hope to do the best we can to try harder and keep going. I have hope that things will get better one day. We're hanging in there, so we're making progress, right? Things are bound to get better. Keep on fighting! All the best to you xx
Hey Emma. I understand your anger and frustration. It sucks, it really does. For me to it helps me to let all those negative emotions out. I scream, I cry, I curse,... but afterwards I feel better. Until then next time anyway. But in the meantime I try to read positive things and that fills me up with hope that things will get better. Keep hanging in there. Sending you my best wishes xx
Hiya lesley we all know how u are feeling... its not nice at all and i have so many days where im the same as u and think i cant take much more of this!! My constant fear is dieing of cancer any ache, pain or body change i constantly diagnose myself with cancer...i work myself up to the point where i have panic attacks and cry for hours. Like u i feel like my family are so fed up with me as im constantly hounding them and feel miserable, i feel im missing so much fun with my two children as they are only 5 and 2!! I once got told by someone that anxiety can go as quick as it came...im still waiting for it to p*** off, it does help being on here though as people are so supportive ☺ hope ur ok xx
Hi Lesley, we can all empathise with what you say.
I had a reasonable day yet battled also and did break down once because of the effect i believed it was having on my wife and how unfair my negative thoughts about us and our relationship were having.
When I'm in the throws I feel I can't hug or kiss her because of guilt, it's horrible and upsets me so much.
You don't say if or how long you have been on any medication, equally do you know whether your loved ones hate you, and are you bringing them down or are you assuming that?
N
Hi Lesley, I feel the same. This is the fourth time in my life i've suffered with anxiety. I have had the weekend with my son (he's 7), lovely weather - we did nothing, its like i can't even think what to do and if i do think of something i know i can't do it because i'm frightened of being anxious or worse. Every day i think i'm going to die or i will have found out i have a life threatening condition. The only advice i can give and it has worked to a degree for me, is try and acheive a little something each day or every other day, an enjoy the sense of achievement, then maybe try a little more. I read a really good book called At Last a Life by Paul David. He says to try and live along with your anxiety and realise that these are just feelings and can't hurt you. Eventually your mind will accept there is not much to fear. I have good and bad days. Also it took a long time for life to affect you and for it to turn into anxiety so we need to accept that it will take time to feel better. Just realised i seem to be good at giving advice but not taking it!! Having a bad few days. xx
Oh yes. Had depression/anxiety for over 20 years. I have been very very low and been hospspitalised and taken an overdose. I battle on though. Yes so many times thought life was not worth living. I battled and battled. But last year doctor suggested I come off anti depressants. Well it took me 10 months to withdraw from Effexor with no symptoms of withdrawal. Just over a year without. First time depression has not returned within a few months. So I am doing OK at the moment,
Who knows what will happen in the future. But just want to say I have been where you are. I lost a job, a home, relationship because of depression, but I did not want it to win. Long long time fighting. I always was saying, as you do, I can't carry on like this. But somehow I did.
Aw Anne, im so sorry to hear you've had such s rotten time, this anxiety and depression malarkey is a nightmare, glad your doing a bit better now, and no we dont know ehat the future holds but I hope it brings all things good for us all, wishing you lots of happy days ahead 
xx