I haven't felt myself in a while, perhaps since January. I've chalked it up to a very stressful final semester in uni but as I have been finished these past four weeks and if anything things seem to be getting worse. Usually I am optimistic and sociable but when I speak to people now I feel like I am unable to connect or amn't fully present. I am worried that this is going to become my permanent state as days and weeks can go by like this until suddenly I become very upset as I realise how disconnected I am to myself and others. My confidence has fallen and things that I would usually be excited about seem a bit meaningless. This state isn't debilitating, I have started a new job and am doing reasonably ok so I am able to function and appear on the surface to be connecting to people but inside I feel isolated and I am anxious about meeting friends who haven't seen me in a while as I don't feel able to perform socially. I have spoke to my family about it and they think I am exhausted from exams and that I will peak up soon but I feel as though this disconnect it only growing. I am unsure if this is depression or exhaustion or something else or if I am exaggerating, but if anyone else has felt this way I would be interested in hearing.
Hi esker, I can't tell you whether you are or are not depressed - however, there is a symptom checker quiz on the nhs website, which can give you a better idea of whether what you are feeling may be depression. Also, it is worth chatting to your doctor about it regardless as there will be something they can do to help make you feel better.
It's really great that you have been vocal about how you feel to your family, it's an incredibly brave thing to do! In the mean time, are there any hobbies that you have that maybe you stopped because of Uni? Or anything you enjoy doing? It doesn't necessarily have to be sociable, reading or writing, photography etc?
I have just finished my third year of Uni, so I understand how unbelievably stressful it is, a lot of people fell apart around me also. Don't let yourself carry on drifting away from friends, get yourself to the doctor and get the help you deserve! Don't worry about feeling as though you are over exaggerating, they see these things every day and can give you some great support.
Good luck!
Fee x
Thanks Fee, your message was very sweet and encouraging. I am focusing on doing little things everyday, trying not to stay in bed, get out, keep a journal, basically taking small steps to start appreciating the things that usually bring me happiness. And you are right, the past semester has really pushed me to my limit.
Thank you and wishing you well,
E
Hey Esker, glad to hear! You are making some really positive steps! Though they may seem small they are really significant Take some time for yourself,
I wish you all the best of luck!
Fee