HI, I am alone and have pretty much done this alone since after the first week. I am very bored and cant wait until I can drive again. I watch tv, play with my dogs, read magazines, of course do therapy. Anyone have any ideas what I could do so as not to be so lonely? I really use this site to ease the lonliness. If it werent for my therapist I think I would have gone insane. I wont be "released" by my surgeon until Dec 8th.
Hi Julia, are you in the UK?
If yes , ring Social Services and explain your predicament.
I have had carers since I came out of hospital end of Feb this year. My BF works so they come 3 times a day.
They're great for help with personal care or even just a brew and a chat.
Hope this helps you
I am in the states and they only gave me a therapist once a day for the first week then reduced it a day till Im down to two xs a week. I enquired about a caregiver but did not qualify since I could put on my shoes, go potty and walk before I got out of the hospital. I would have to pay for a caregiver. Thanks...just responding cheered me up!
Hi Julia, I am so sorry to hear you feel so alone. What about friends and relatives - can no one come and see you? What about getting out and walking? What about any of the people on here from US, perhaps they could help. It's a shame you aren't in uk as we are quite a helpful bunch and the country is not quite so vast, we could suggest stuff depending on the area you lived in. That is why I am so surprised that US citizens come on this site when it is UK. Can anyone suggest support groups in the US to help this lady?
I am sure there are lots of local volunteer organisations near you, have you tried your local church, ring the paster and ask about a visiting service. Also ring your local dog rescue, and ask if someone could give you a little help with the dogs for a few weeks. Ask your hospital if they have a list of visitor scemes or call your local Samaratains number, and ask them to provide you with some visitor organisations. There will be plenty of local people just waiting to visit ... all you have to do is let them know you are there! Good luck and do keep in touch.
I also live alone. I had a friend stay with me the first two days. I agree it's lonely and even a little depressing recovering from this surgery. It was a real treat when I could drive again. For me I honestly didn't feel like doing that much the first three or four weeks. I actually didn't seem to have the energy. I sew, so as soon as I was able I did a little... I had planned to knit, but found I didn't have the concentration. I think the telephone and computer got he through the first weeks. I used my iPad in bed. I found I also read this site a lot....especially at night when I was uncomfortable nd couldn't sleep. It's just one day at a time....i learned the new meaning of patience.
hi julia...anita here ....I live in the boston area...you are wise to acknowledge when you need help ...you are not alone....this forum has been so helpful since my august tkr......so thankful for the new found friends ...filled with genuine concern
Sounds like we did alot of the same things. (The reason i am alone is becuz my husb is deployed. ) i too have learned the meaning of patience. I just wrote on here to make sure i was doing and thinking "normal" things. Thank you for writing. I feel much better and not so lonely.
Hi there, not much fun being on your own after this op .meloncholy soon steps In and the tears won't stop. I am 82 and now 15weeks. I found I could not concentrate on anything, TV,reading, nothing did it for me. I was cursing myself daily for having the op done. When you live alone you have to cope the best way you can, the pain does ease, and the sleeping does get easier .i can drive again and noproblem going to the shops and doing short walks weather permitting. I have been doing my own house work all along I had help from my daughter in law with food for the first 2weeks, since then I have coped. You will find things will get easier, and you will have lots of days when your back to square one. Try to take each day as it comes and set yourself little goals to achieve.. Best of luck my freind with your healing.from tucks
Thanks....Im going to call my church and see if someone can come visit and look online for any other groups. I work with disabled people and here in the states they are called the invisible population. I know now what they are going thru and how they feel. If it werent for this forum I wouldnt have made it this far. Thanks again for the ideas.
As has been discussed by many, the mental side of this surgery is the thing that docs never bring up. I don't know if its just lack of information or that they know it will pass in a few weeks and just aren't concerned. I work crossword puzzles as a way to keep the brain active. Others do soduko but that isn't my thing. I stayed away from politics or I would have wound up breaking things and it just makes me more tense and angry which you don't need when you are trying to heal. Be sure and get in a couple of short naps daily. I think this time of year can be a little unnerving, everyone around you is gearing up for rgw holidays and you just aren't up to thinking about it right now so you have to mentally tune it out a bit. This isn't much help but I think we have all been through it to some degree. Hang in there, it will get better with time.
Old fat guy you are so wise and your words so true. I get very tense and bad tempered and want to throw something, anywhere at any thing. Then when I go to bed I want to cry. Not much fun is it? But maybe Santa will bring us some joy keep well tucks
Susan, there are tons of support groups, anyone on the net can find them....I was pretty much non technical but I've come a long way since 2005 when I bought my first desk type.
There are others here besides from the US too....I came here to talk more about hip replacement mess as I also talk to other hip groups....hope we in the US aren't too much bother....I've been on groups and many from the UK are there....we have a lot of folks living in our city from the UK. Joy 76 US
Of course people from the US aren't any bother. I was just curious as to why when there are two separate sites, you shoukd choose the uk one. Julia said she was lonely, obviously living so far away people from the uk can't really help. If she lived in this country obviously there would be more that we could suggest. I find that some of your comments in the past have been made to start an argument. Please don't pick on things I have said and try to insinuate people from the US are not welcome here.
when i first went on this site i didnt realize it was a uk site. I needed advice, and people to talk to about my tkr since I am alone. UK, US, Canada, Mexico...it doesnt matter to me where people are from. We all have gone thru some kind of traumatic joint surgery and that doesnt change depending on where we live. I have also gone thru a double TMJ joint replacement surgery and wish I had this site then to help me thru the process. Thank you to all who have replied where ever you live.
To be honest I couldn't care where people have come from, people are people but it seems that operations and treatment are different in different countries. Loneliness happens wherever you live and hopefully support is there. The internet is a very useful tool used the right way.
I find the emotional side of this surgery hard too. I have been moody, teary and irritable!!! My poor husband. I am.luckier than you Julia in that I am not living alone. It must be difficult for you especially with your husband deployed. Are there other military wives you can contact? I also font think.it matters where we come from.on this forum. I am from Australia. A TKR is a TKR no matter where you have it, even though there are screw different ways it might be done. Hope you find some comfort Julia. This forum is great! Always someone to ask things if you want to know something.
I think it's great that we have so many different countries joining in and it is very interesting to see how treatment differs, although actually it's quite reassuring to see that it doesn't differ that much, If Canada, the U.S. Australia and the UK are doing much the same thing, it seems that this really is the best treatment on offer. Julia, if your husband is deployed, you should be able to call on the military for support, I am sure they have a visiting support staff for wives.
Susan, am I missing something? Are there two separate sites here? Joy
Hi Julia,
Just checking in to see how you are doing. I'm curious, where in the US are you located? I'm also here, in California.
Hope you are doing better - it's a roller coaster journey, to be sure!
Take care & keep in touch, Betty (almost 18 weeks)