My anxiety is affecting my relationship really bad, can someone help?

Mental health
1

I've had anxiety and OCD for a while even though I doubt myself everytime I say this. In my previous relationship I would always worry about him leaving me or cheating and I had other thoughts like thinking something was after me and that people who died was my fault because I didn't do a certain OCD ritual. One time I even thought I wasn't in control of my head and something took over me trying to tell me to jump out the window to hurt myself (this was linked to thinking something was after me) it sounds crazy I know. Now in my current relationship I started having the same anxiety again and constantly needing reassurance that he wouldn't leave me, wouldn't find anyone better and not fall out of love with me. I'd spend many hours of the day obsessing and worrying about these thoughts but at different stages. Now I'm worrying that I don't love my partner. It all started when I had nothing to worry about and I thought to myself what else could make us have to break up and I thought of something that could be out of my control and that's when I thought of not loving him and just in lust or something. So from there I constantly obsessed over it. I got better for a bit because my mind found something else to obsess on but now I'm back to this again. I've worried myself so much now that I can't even feel anything anymore. I used to sit and imagine scenarios like picturing my life without him and if I didn't feel anything I'd panic and make myself worse. Now I keep imagining me kissing someone else (some random guy) and testing myself to see if I would but I feel in my head I can picture that easily and it gave me major anxiety. Now I can't feel anything at all no love etc I'm so scared I have nothing negative to say about my boyfriend at all he's the perfect partner for me but I can't shake these thoughts and it's really getting me down has anyone else experienced this and what can I do? Can anxiety make you picture things happening easily even though you know you're against it and would never do it?

Thank you for whoever has the time to reply, I'm sorry it's so long x

2

Hello Emma, thank you for the kiss.

Depression has a great  deal to answer for as this Anxiety. I was the same with one person I was engaged to, my Parents broke up the relationship and I was a fool to allow it happen.

You have someone who you love and He must be wondering how He could lift your mood and put your mind at rest.

All I can say you have someone who seems to love you, why question your feelings?? toward him. Love and relationships are hard enough without any of us worrying why does someone need or fancy me.

Consider He is with you and seems to be happy. You life for the day and give plenty of hugs

BOB

3

Hi Emma

Bless you , anxiety is rubbish and plays mind games.

Have you had any follow ups with GP to see if anything can be suggested to help with your thought patterns. Like CBT or similar.

I had CBT and it really helped me get my head round things and see and deal with emotions differently xx

Good luck lovely xx