Hi, this is my first time posting here.
I'm 19 years old and I've had Anxiety with Depression for about 3 years. I'm not currently taking any medication for it neither do I have a counsellor. I've took medication in the past and I hated the side effects so I gave up with it. I thought maybe I could sort the problem out myself however I have been overcome with severe anxiety recently. When I'm at parties etc at University I can barely speak to people as I already get the perception that they dislike me, and that when I say something I sound stupid. Most acts throughout the day I feel so self conscious doing even with basic things such as walking down the road. I feel like my inner monologue and anxiety has taken over my mind. I've lost all confidence. I often get suicidal thoughts but I could never go through so I put it down to my anxiety. I live in the UK so my treatment is on the NHS but whenever I seem to go in about my Anxiety/Depression it's always the same thing - answering a pointless questionnaire about how I'm feeling and prescribing me a lower/higher dose which I honestly believe has made me feel worse over time. I don't know what to do and I feel like it is ruining my life. I realise I probably should seek counselling but the waiting lists are pretty ridiculous and I don't think I mentally have the patience anymore. What do I do? I just want to get my life on track and I realise that I have to work towards feeling better, but I am so mentally exhausted.
As mother of 2 children it breaks my heart that someone so young can feel like this. Do you have any support? Parent or friend you can talk to. Have you spoken to your gp about It? Have you tried the meditations off of you tube?
EPK
Generally speaking they give you a questionnaire to work out not only the type of Depression/Anxiety also the best way to treat your condition. Today I just recieved a letter from my CPN with my concluding results from the last eleven sessions. This ill allo my GP plan my next treatment. If you are given this test you are entitled to a copy of the results. To get the results, you ask at reception in Hospital etc and you will from then on get copies of all letters sent to your GP.
If you get Suicidal Thoughts it needs to be nipped in the blood, many consider this quite regular and the thought can become habit forming. You need to stop this consideration before it starts. Your GP can arrange treatment to help you with all your problems above with a course of CBT with a Therapist. Some places have these type of centres where you can refer yourself, at the end of treatment you will get a copy of their diagnosis and if you need further treatment at your GP request.
Generally when starting a form of treatment medications may be given as you wait for your appointment, the drugs take upwards of five weeks to work and the side affects may be problematic until you get used taking them.
You mention the problems at college and the concerns you have when mixing ith your peers, this can be normal and can last for quite a time. You need to understand, many people you see will suffer from the same uncertain fears you suffer from. You need confidence, eventually given time and the fact of mixing with these people will become less problematic as you proceed through the course Be patient and eventually you ill hopefully become more at peace with those around you.
One thing you need to consider is it is better you start medication now as your condition is raw, eventually I ould hope you ill move on and stop taking your medications. Very few people need medications over the long term so get yourself sorted and enjoy your courses
BOB