So i was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago, at first i done all the typical crying and stressing out but then i done my research and turns out so many people have it and its kinda really hard to advoid anyway seeing as even condoms dont fully protect you from it' i was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with telling people if it come down to having to tell someone about it?
well you dont have to tell anyone unless you are having sex with someone?
Yeah the emotional first few weeks is honestly the worst and I can promise from my experience you will never feel that low again (because of herpes)
Well I wouldn't tell anyone till you got really close because there's no point not knowing someone then telling them and they're actually an arsehole you want to know that the person is worth it
When it comes to it don't apologise or start with 'you probably won't want me after this'
That's stupid
Say something like 'just to let you know I have the virus that causes cold sores on the mouth and genitals and the one that causes chicken pox' then explain more
Thankyou' i domt intend on telling anyone unless i have to, its just hard because of my ocd etc im over thinking it and all worse case scenarios lol
High 5 babe don't worry OCD and crippling anxiety
But honestly it does get better you'll stop thinking about it soon
Push it to the back of your head till you have to tell somebody no point stressing till then
How old are you and where are you from?
Its got easier lol just something else to stress about on top of everything elss lol but hey things could be worse i suppose ! 20 london you?
Exactly it's just one of those things I'm telling you!!
If you speak to a doctor about it and say you're depressed about it they literally look at you like you're mad like 'erm why are you sad about this' and my doctor was even like 'ok but like what's the problem I have it too'
And although it's a bit blunt it just shows it really is no big deal
I'm 21 and from Birmingham
How long have you had it?
That's good how you said to say something like just to let you know I have the virus that causes cold sores..... I just found out Monday I have it and been crying so much plus I'm in a lot of pain!
The pain physical will go very quickly seriously it's not nice but when it's gone you really do forget about it, and the emotional pain (the worst) part is absolutely evil but that will go away normally after your symptoms are gone, if you need to talk message me your email and we can talk ask me anything x
few months now so not long
Ah it sucks but i supposs there isnt much we can really do about it but deal with it now, i think the stigma about it is the worse thing but in theory its not actually that bad x
You're right and to think there is actually must worst
it literally is just a pain in the ass (literally)
think if you had HPV that would be a bad one because it's the leading cause for cervical cancer and HIV even though obviously it's not a killer anymore if you don't take your tablets you wil die!!
There is plus on boths though I do not mean to discriminate like
HPV most likely everyone will get this in their life (apart from the girls who got the vaccine) and it shows normally no symptoms and if you do 'warts' they either go away on their own or you simply get them removed, and with HIV you're sweet if you wear a condom you wouldn't even have to inform the other person,
But the annoying thing is in the first year of having hsv the risk of transmitting it even with a condom is like 4% and although it seems small it's still a risk, but again theres good sides like this literally will not cause you health problems apart from an outbreak every now and then and it prevents you from having sex but who cares about that really?
The second outbreak for me was barely noticable I still question whether I've had a second outbreak because it didnt hurt it was one mark and it just looked like a spot and it lasted like 3 days!!
I suffer from reaccuring cystits and boy let me tell you about pain, as women we have many things that stop us having sex, aka cystits, thrush, periods
so what is the problem with this?x
Its such a common thing to get and unless you get diagnosed and hear all the correct facts about it then people including myself before hand are so oblivious to it and think its dirty etc but all it is really is a skin condition which just so happens to be transmitted through sex x
Yeah I'm guilty of that as well I'm also guilty of thinking there was a good and bad herpes (good being oral) little did I know they were the exact same thing haha woops!!
If Stigma wasn't a thing more people come open up about it and change it to one of those things like thrush, like thrush will come back and it can be passed on through partners but it isn't gross because it isnt an STI but i mean it's passed on through sex??????
It literally is ezcema of the downstairs haha
It's actually not even passed through sex, It's not found in the bodily fluids or anything like that, it's a skin thing you could be naked cuddling and catch it, you can touch your down below then someone else and they can get it, someone who has cold sores can touch their mouth then your downstairs and you can get it!!
It's ridiculous
Are you single at the moment?x
Na my partner has been really understanding and it doesnt bother him at all' hes never had an outbreak so we are unsure if he has it but chances are you does but hes attitude to it is oh well cant get rid of it so get over it lol wbu??x
Yeah I have a boyfriend and he is the exact same, I know he was the one who gave it me but like he said can't change it so whatever!!
I think you shouldn't worry then like you have a boyfriend you literally have no worries what so ever, put it in the back of your mind seriously x
I'm glad I found this site. I haven't told anyone yet: I get anxiety anyway and now it's through the roof. I try to stay calm as I've read being stressed can make this worse! I started the meds Monday afternoon right after I left the dr office. I'm still shocked this has happened!
Yeah this site helped me so much!
Yeah I suffer from anxiety and depression so it definitely makes you take it a lot harder than most people,
I wouldn't rely on the meds unless you suffer from outbreaks seriously you don't need them try go without, I found i was much better when I didn't take them because when you take them it's a reminder so now I do not bother with them and touch wood I've been good,
There is no need to be stressed what is done is done now, So many women get this it's so much more common than you think
Yeah it is a big shock but when you read into it and see how super easy it is to get and how condoms don't protect you it really shouldn't be that shocking, Maybe we should be shocked it didn't happen sooner haha!
Don't judge yourself on this, hating yourself will do absolutely nothing, at the moment you will be depressed and that is why you feel so low but take my advice this does go you will move on from it!
could take you a month could take you a year but let me tell you after about a month every day goes by easier, it's not the first thing I think of in the day anymore and it definitely isn't the last
You do not need to tell anyone at all unless you plan on having a serious relationship with them, you haven't got a stamp on your head it is completely invisible
It gets easier 
seriously your not the first ans most defiantly not the last there is most likely people all around you family and friends etc which have it and like the rest of us keep it hush hush untill we have to tell someone' how i see it is there is no need to stress because herpes does not define you as a person you are still exactly the same person as you where before you was diagnosed x