Not sure if I should have stopped taking meds?

Mental health
1

Hey folks

It's been a few months since I posted on here and I was kinda after some advice...

I have had a lot of really bad things happen the last couple of years that I won't go into but I got to the end of last year feeling so depressed and anxious that I really couldn't cope any more.

I went to my GP early in January to get some help and said I really wanted to just speak to someone (I work alone and have no friends living near me so I really just wanted to tell someone, ideally with mental health training, how I felt and try and work out how to cope with things better). My GP said she'd put me on the waiting list but it could be 6 months or more before I got an appointment.

She also recommended I start taking Sertraline which I grudgingly did. Around February/March, when I had just started taking the tablets (just a low 50mg dose) I had a few really positive things happen in my life... an amazing work opportunity was offered to me, my financial situation improved a lot and a lot of the things that had been causing the ongoing stress and anxiety were removed.

I carried on taking the Sertraline for about 2 or 3 months but the constant feeling of not quite being fully 'alert' along with some other physical side effects meant I was really not happy with them (I didn't want to go on any medication in the first place).

I was also put on an online 4-week course to help with stress and anxiety but it was useless, really no help at all... the 'teachers' were dull and monotone and it seemed that 90% of what they were suggesting wasn't relevant to me and my situation.

I finished the course and because I had completed it, was on meds and my mental health was (on paper) better (actually due to my change in circumstances not the treatment) they took me off their list and told me I didn't need any more help.

I think I'm now no longer on the waiting list for a 1 to 1 appointment, which is frankly all I ever wanted.

I stopped taking the Sertraline about 4 weeks ago now which has at least meant I feel myself again.

My worry is that things have started to get more stressful again this past week or two and I am starting to feel all the issues I had before coming back again.

I am worried that if my life takes a turn for the worse again I will be right back at square one as I don't feel like I ever got the treatment I wanted or needed, they just stuck a plaster over it and told me to go away... the mental health issues are still there, it's just the fact I was NOT under as much stress meant they weren't so visible for a few months.

I can't afford a private therapy session, I don't trust or have any real confidence in my doctor so don't want to go back to them so I'm kinda stuck and don't know which way to turn?

I don't think anyone here can offer any advice (unless you happen to work in the NHS) but I guess I just needed to vent and get it all off my chest... see if anyone else had been through similar?

Thanks all

2

Hi Ben - why did you go off the meds? They helped to a degree because you state that old issues have arisen since ditching the pill. Would you consider re-starting the meds, get that balance, and reapply for that one-on-one session. Alternative to this - or in conjunction with it - have you considered a group meeting with fellow sufferers? Just sharing with others, realising you are not alone, and building new connections with those who understand what you are suffering can be a huge help. It also provides a support structure for you, and no doubt the engineers and participants of the program will have info and therapies that might be just what you are looking for. 

3

Hey Wayne

I came off, as mentioned, because I wasn't happy with the side effects, both physical and mental and nope, having tried it against my better judgement for a few months, I wouldn't go back on them. My current work situation means I have the opportunity to achieve things I have been dreaming of being able to do for 20+ years if I can focus and concentrate and make stuff happen in the next few months. Whilst I was on the tablets I felt so 'detached' and spaced-out I was utterly unable to focus on work.

The trouble is that the start and end of me taking them was coincidental with things improving and then worsening in my life, I don't believe the tablets had any significant positive effect... it was just lucky that my life improved about the time I started taking them and has worsened again simultaneously with me stopping taking them again.

Yes, finding a group and meeting with/chatting with others would be great... unfortunately I have NO idea how/where to do that. The online help course I was put on did have organised meet-ups but it was set up from/for another county and all the meet-ups were hours away so I couldn't join. They had no suggestions of anything near me.

I also have serious time issues... work keeps me busy more hours than I have in the day already, my family don't get enough of my time outside of work so I find it REALLY hard to justify making time to go and meet people or do anything 'social' outside of work and family.

I work for myself, by myself, so I don't even get to interact with anyone for 95%+ of the time... that I think is a big issue, I wish there was a way I could have social time with friends nearby, but have none nearby.