I am now in the end of my twenties and suffering my third bout of depression/anxiety in 6 years. Life is currently good and has been for the last couple of years, so to be cast into a state of severe depression and anxiety has been incredibly scary. After breaking down in the doctors and declaring i could not cope any more, i have been told to continue taking the Citalopram i have taken for the past couple of years (although i have been very laxed with taking pills over the last month). I am also taking 5mg of diazepam 3 times a day. I am now just about coping, however the days are horrible and i can't face work. Some hours i can smile, some hours i just cry. I have been in this position before, and after time have got through these horrific feelings, however this is little comfort at the moment.
I would be really keen to hear any words of support or encouragement or words from people who have suffered severely like i have in the past.
Hi, it's good to see that life is currently good. I'm an RMN and a patient nod have suffered with bouts of life changing depression since I was in my early teens. 41 now, go me. The thing is that I've found is that you might just have to go with what you have. I have depression but it doesn't mean I need to BE depression. Ive recently taken ownership of my condition. I know that at times it will be an all consuming thing that I can't shake, that wants me to stop, that wants me to internalise, that wants me to give up. Recently I have started to try to ground myself in reality...the cloud comes over and darkens everything, so this is what I do....I take my medication, citalopram. If you had a cut you would put on a plaster, this is my reasoning. But use your meds to help you find where you are. And when pure taking them use them as a crutch to help you work towards your next lighter mood. They won't cure what you have but hell help you get to where you need to.
Make contact with reality....I've started stating, out loud, where I am and what is around me when my thought internalise. It makes me feel a connection to the outside world. Don't intemperate what you see or feel, just state. "I am in my lounge and the there are pictures I have painted on the wall" "I am driving, I am on my way to ...."
Don't be afraid to use the services that are available to you. Use your doctor, your cmhn, your friends, your family. People are around who want to support you. If you are not ok it's important to let someone know. The sooner you identify that there is a problem the sooner you can gain support to confront it.
There are no easy solutions, or fixes or patches. We have depression, we have to own it. We haven't done anything to deserve it, it's just one of those things. Like the colour of our eyes or being short or tall. If we accept it and face it we can get through it.
Thankyou for the comments. I think it is just wonderfull that people on here take time out of their own day to help make other people feel better. Im percervering for now, and hope to see the psychiatrist as soon as possible. Your unique experiences really help me put things into perspective. All the best