Hiya Ladies,
You will never be alone when reading these forums as it seems that we are all experiencing similar things and I personally have gained loads of support from what I have read and feel less strange than when some of my friends made me feel in Nov 12 when I first started feeling this way.
Last year I had a few blips when my periods were late or missed and for about two weeks at a time (prior to my period) I wouldn't even go out or want to see anyone other than my Husband or my son (who I must say have both been wonderful and really understanding and have not made me feel that I am loosing it.
My main problems have been with the anxiety and the fear of doom and gloom that when anything feels a little different inside that I must have something deadly like cancer!! where have all these thoughts come from? I never suffered with anxiety prior to Nov 12 when it came with a massive bang and only when I had a complete health check that these feelings went away for about 3 months and when the next period was either late or I missed one completely and wham the fear hit me again!
I have tried loads of herbal things and have recently found off simply supplements a tablet called 5HTP 100mg high strength which the reviews were very good for low moods and anxiety which I started taking and helps to relax your mind. Another tablet off the same site was Menapol Plus which again is has really good reviews, so may be worth having a read to see if these may suit you.
Last year I started out having Reiki and Reflexology and going for massages to help me to relax a little, and I have also read that perhaps hypnotherapy may be worth considering and now have made an appointment to see a lady who is counsellor who will now hopefully help with my fears (will let you know how this goes). I only spoke to her on the phone this morning to make an appointment and explained that I am in the peri and have started with anxiety and instantly she said that this is a very common symptom and said that she should be able to help. I will then look at Hypnotherapy next.
I started with HRT two weeks ago on the first day of my period which has now only just finished but during
this time I was feeling really low and dreading that there was something wrong as I have never had a period last this long. Today I am starting to feel more normal again and I already knew that this could take up to 3 months to settle but all last week thought something dreadful was going on!! Your mind does silly things to us when we are at these low periods but when we start to feel normal again we don't seem to worry as much!!
Please understand that you will never be a lone when you come on this forum and I have been so grateful for having found this site and will continue to share my experiences as well.
Some advice I have been given over the past 18 months is "BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND START THINKING OF YOURSELF MORE"
I will always be here to listen if anyone feels alone but remember "together we can beat these strange feelings"!!
Loads of love to each and everyone of you!
Joy xxxxxx
If I think about it, yes to the running nose thing. I feel like I have hay fever but I don't and I sneeze too. But then, the way my mind works, i think 'didn't they say before they died that it felt like a cold they couldn't shake off'.
I think mine's been going on for about five years, when my periods got closer.
But do you still feel like your'e going to have a period even when you don't. That's what I'm going through now.
Julie...
yes ... no sex drive, can relate to that too, mind you I did make an effort this weekend when partner was back for weekend and it was better than I thought it would be 😊
weight wise, I am lucky that way, I lose not gain, but my middle has increased abit, and yes the bloat happens too, Vit B 6 helps the weigh gain have a look above about it, i posted it ...
people, yes, me too, I tend to avoid people, think its a common feeling as we lack abit of confidence sometimes and we tend to feel abit judged when in fact no one is actually judging us, ' its just the way we feel inside'
Julie.. if you feel your hair is drying etc, treat yourself to a good hair cut and try push yourself to go, you will feel so much better after... get your hair trimmed up and in a better condition ... I have mine trimmed often and its go so much better now... Jay xx
Julie, you did make me smile about replying now before you forget.
Yes I have elasticated M&S trousers on today. If I do make the effort I feel better but mostly the question 'what's the point' springs to mind. I look at my reflection and just sigh and think, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's all you'll have is a pig with lipstick on.
An expression I always think to myself is 'I used to like doing that/ going there/ when I was alive'. Because I don't feel alive anymore, I just feel most of the time like I'm sleepwalking through life. And, being our age, we also know there's less of it to waste.
On the plus side, my mum says when you're though it, it's liberating. No mood swings, no anxiety, no tears, she says 'this is what it must be like being a man'.
Scrangelina
yes ... i get the period symptoms each month, and no period, thats when the anxiety is at its worse, and tears aswell, headachy, back ache and i take thing to heart more then, very sensitive i feel emotionally then, always have it every month but no period.. but cry at the drop of a hat...
also my last period Aug 13, good god, I had headaches for 4 days constant, all through the night too, heavy sickness feeling, tender breasts.. then bingo... symptoms far worse when a period actually does come..
Jay x
Julie, and good for you for going for gold this weekend. That's a memory for me, but I used to enjoy it when I was alive :-)
Jay, that's really interesting. I had thought I was alone in that. A few weeks ago in college my tutor made a jokey comment - our relationship is based on humour and insults - and he indicated he was a bit disappointed in me. It was just a joke, and I was joking back, but all of a sudden I felt the familiar feeling sting of tears coming to my eyes, and managed to get out of the room and into the disabled toilets (where I belong) before I started crying. Heaving sobs, trying to control it. I wasn't sad, I just couldn't stop crying, and was so angry with myself.
Now I don't know about you, but some women look vulnerable and sweet when they cry. I look like somebody has maced me in the face. It was so obvious I was crying and I had to go out and hide in my car. I felt like I had really lost the plot. People expect you to cry for a reason, but what if the reason is you can't stop and you're empty inside and you don't know why?
My boobs are tender today, I feel 100% like I'm going to start my period. This is in no way regular, it can happen every two or three weeks. Last proper period I had was last year. This year I had a dark brown show and that period lasted for about a day. I can't believe I can talk about this finally. So relieved.
Joy, thanks for that. I felt desperate this morning, but now I can see hope. It's always scarier when we think we're the only people going through this. And even amongst my same age friends, we don't really talk about it, it seems there's an implied shame or unwillingness to discuss it, as if it somehow brands you as past it.
The unspoken dread at the pit of my stomach that something terrible is going to happen, and the poor sleep, these are what has made me feel so isolated.
Scrangelina
yes, I use to get dark brown, even near black sometimes ... my doc at the time, said its old blood that didnt expell last time, and its all very common in peri, he said its lining that shed and didnt expell, (dark discharge/ blood) then some can be normal blood and some very bright pink red... I got alot heavier too at times, but all over in 3/4 days... very very early peri i bled for 21 months solid, heavy, spotting, etc with only a few days break in between 😦 lost a lot of weight and fainted 3 times too... bit all that has passed now ...
jay xx
Haha. It makes me smile hearing these things. My kids say i'm on satellite delay because it takes so long to get a response. Jay, is it safe just to take the b vits or do I need testing first to check deficiency? My dr is so reluctant to test for stuf, cost I guess.
I have also noticed the runny nose thing. V weird.
I'm trying magnesium, omega 3 supplements and vit c atm. We'll see what happens. Xx
Jay, thanks for sharing. It's not the sort of thing I dare ask. One of my anxieties is the doctors, so I avoid them. I always think she's going to stuff her fist in her mouth and tell me I'm not long for the world.
Hi Mooma 😃
how are you hun... hope you had a good weekend....
well Me personally I just try them, I live in Spain so go to farmacia for the Vit B.. they are pharmaceutical strength, my Vit B 6 is 300mg but i split them and take half.. and I also take Vit B 1 ( Thiamine) too have done for years, they too are 300mg but I take a whole one of those ( as they also keep the mozzys off you ) as for the B12 I now have injection and had two so far, again in spain you just get from farmacia, Vit B12 shots are monthly here... i dont recommend anyone do that though... I get more sense form the Pharmacist than the Doctors here. My Uk Doc years ago gave me Vit B 6 in early peri, but I hadnt really researched it back then, no he didnt test me, he said I just need it anyway...
you can get Vit B 6 and Vit B12 tabs from the Biovea website too..
I read that the celebs have Vit B 12 injections for energy, even Cowell... good lord...
Jay x
Are you girls also very pale 😕and have this overly sensitive to light and noise it just like you're whole body is out of control . Thank you lady's for all the info it helps a lot 😘
Hi Judith
no I am not pale, I have olive skin, ( and live in spain) so not noticed any sensitivity to sun or sunlight..
as for noise, no not noticed any thing about noise either... but we are all different and experience different extremities ...
mind you, I cant abide shouty noisy people, or people who talk loud and fast, my brain turns to mush trying to keep up .. 😏
Jay x
Thank you so much ladies. You've made me laugh and cry at the same time.
I'm 50 this year, no periods for 3 years in July. Back in 2011 I was diagnosed as depressed and went on anti-depressants (Citalopram) and had counselling for 12 weeks.
Both helped enormously at the time and after 18 months came off the pills. Now I just have the horrendous exhaustion and hot flushes to contend with.
I'm sat here when I'm meant to be working ( working at home though so not so bad 
. Very difficult to concentrate some days, and this is one of them, and the brain fog can take over at the strangest moments.
I work with two other great ladies who are both slightly younger than me and who are both starting to have some of the same symptoms so I'm the guinea pig of the team.
I've started trying to eat more naturally - vegetables, fruit and meat that has as little as possible done to it and after my first week feel quite a bit better. I'm going to try the B vitamins as I already take oil of evening primrose which is good and sometimes sage tablets.
At least we are not alone in this and have each others experiences to relate to.
I refuse to go into elasticated trousers!!! And, to keep up appearances am persevering with my high heels and the hair dye......
Chin up all! XXXX
Scrangelina,
I take Vit B complex and Starflower and Flaxseed Oil which has omega 3,6,9 (which I put into an yogurt drink) and I too suffer with my sinus. Most mornings when I get up for one of my many trips to the loo I come back to bed and then can feel the catarrh in my throat building up which then starts me off coughing and sometimes feel sick with it, I suck a Fishersman friend lozenge (which also seems to help with the anxiety a bit - don't know why though) they have been around for years.
I too have been suffering with very little sleep and last week was so tired with having my period for 15 days and had little or no energy and Saturday night took an Actifed tablet which helps with allergies and colds etc you have to ask over the counter for them, you take one about an hour prior to bed and the last two nights I have had the best nights sleep and guess what my sinuses felt clearer and didn't wake up with the coughing etc in the morning. So not only did I get a goods night restful sleep it helped with the catarrh and no coughing fits...
A few weeks ago I was sick after eating my roast pork dinner and couldn't understand as I love this meat!! This has happened with roast lamb as well. Went to the doctor who I must say was one of the nice ones and checked me over but more importantly listened to what I had to say and then decided it was Acid reflux and prescribed some tablets to be taken in the morning before any food. I have been taking this for about 3 weeks now and this has not happened since (mind you I haven't tried Pork) but do feel better for taking them. One thing I did learn from her was that during this time of our lives and when the hormones are changes it can effect our digestive system a long with sinuses or other allergies.
Most mornings at the moment I don't feel like getting out of bed and just feel more comfortable staying in even if I just read. Once I do get up I do have a shower which always makes me feel better and then go have cereal and then about 0930 - 1000 ready to face the office.(thankfully I help run our own business so my husband is understanding).
I also use to be really house proud and every weekend would be on the go both days playing catch up but at the moment feel no interest and it takes ages to get going and like you Jay say I will start after that next cup coffee.
Reading all of our experiences certainly is a MASSIVE TONIC to us all, see all we need is someone to listen and not think all we should do is get on with life when these people have no idea what we are going through and are less patient or understanding with us.
I have one very close friend who is wonderful and always makes me feel great and more positive about what I am going through but I have two other friends that don't seem to understand and have made statements like " I would like to have a melt down like you" and another said" be careful not to keep thinking that there is something wrong with you when there isn't because when there is truly something wrong no one will listen or believe you"
I cant even talk to my Mum as she is always so negative about things and tends to make me worst and has even telling other family members that I have medical issues and my brother wouldn't want to listen as he only thinks of himself and doesn't make time for others.
Its really lovely coming on here and sharing things with others and it does make me smile and makes me feel loads better when reading your shared experiences!!
Joy
xxx
I
Hi ladies!
Have read all your comments and so much is SO me!! 49 going on 94 some days! My bones feel so old at times!
Jay - your comments about period colours (nothing to do with stately homes decor) are the first I have ever read (never could quite discuss such unsavoury details with anyone!) - and I have been the same for years for the first and last days of all periods, before the tremendous 24 hour pain in my abdomen and back, followed by dreadful flooding. How can you tell someone, no matter how close, that you are afraid as it looks like you've just passed a small peice of liver? It just isn't the done thing!
I am on day 2 of my period, bloating, achy, weepy, angry, snuffly, overwhelmed, confused, forgetful - with a face so hot and redder than a male baboon's derriere! Pale? Moi? Having been blessed with rosy cheeks I can only look pale when at death's door!
Scrange - so much of what you said resonates with me - and the crying / maced face look cracked me up! That is exactly me! I only have to get slightly moist-eyed over my cat looking cute to make my cheeks and eyes red!
Anyway, I need to go post some parcels before I forget what I'm doing - again! Good old elasticated sports trousers!!
I'll be back - if I remember where I live (hopefully armed with B6 and B12 - if I remember to look for them!).
Oh - has anyone got any tips for non-horrendously-expensive shampoos that ACTUALLY work to soften thick, straw-like hair?? I found a good one from Avon a few years ago - now no longer available!
CJD x
Hi Ladies...
oh this forum is such a tonic...
sorry if my explanation of the brown etc was abit Too much info, but I am abit straight to the point, and I worried about it so if I can help by sharing I will ..l we are all the same and need abit of comfort... and again thank you for all your smiles and experiences it really comforts me...
well I did had the coffee, but then I burst out the sofa and got the vacuum out 😃 and vacummed the whole house, its all the stairs that get me, ( over three floors ) especially when i go to fetch something and forget...
I am very house proud too and once its done its done and you feel good the things are done..
you ladies have made me smile today, ' Catherine Tate' & elasticated trousers, 😀 I tend to wear comfies cropped decathlon smooth stretchy waisted around the house, then get dressed up to go out, then back in the comfies when I am back 😀 cant beat it... cant bare tight stuff digging in me stomach around the house...
even wear the Bigger knickers now hahahahahaha for comfort.. ' Brigette Jones's .. good old M&S ..
luckily Gibraltar not too far from me, they have an M&S for my bigger pant supply...
keep smiling 😀 Jay x
Yes I agree with you all, thank you. When I started this thread this morning I felt like I was crying out from black pit of despair and thought nobody would reply. In the wave of a morning, I feel like I've connected with more women 'of my species' than I have for years. I have been very scared of the lot of things I joke about and have felt isolated and as if I was losing my mind. I bore myself with the loop of negative thoughts that live in my mind.
But now I know that your'e all the same, I feel happy again. So in celebration I just put some lipstick on my piggy face, shoehorned myself into my jeans, spent 20 minutes trying to work out where I put my keys, and then put a comb through the thinning straw bale that passes as my hair these days - now I'm going out in the sunshine to buy some vitamins and stuff to make a green smoothy.
Women are amazing - much love to you all. Speak soon xxx
scrangela... 😀
oh you do make me laugh, please move to Spain 😀😀😀😀😀😀
Jay xx