Reflection

[nh_user_896716]

Today is my birthday...You don't all have to say happy birthday ...lol.

I know it is implied when someone says it is there birthday...refuse the urge! 

i have 2 months 60 days sober today...the last drink and entry into the hospital was on Jan 31. 

​I wasn't going to post because so many still suffer and I remember suffering and reading or NOT reading when someone was celebrating a milestone because I could not handle that someone was making it and I couldn't.  I just couldn't.

​So the reason I am posting it, is because I want anyone that CAN read this that is still struggling to know...I COULDNT STOP.  I had many hospital visits this year...near death experiences....and I still COULDNT STOP.

​The only reason that I was able to stop was because I entered the hospital on Jan 31 in such bad shape...that if I had drank much longer I would have died.  AND right now that does not scare me.  But, at the time it did scare me.

​The first month was really easy..because I was recovering physically...and had no thoughts of drinking.  My only thoughts were about how to nourish my body back to health.

​This 2nd month has been alot harder...because I am in more of a healthy physical state...my brain keeps trying to trick me and tell me just a few beers won't hurt me and would actually feel good.

I know that they would feel good for a day.  But, the problem has been for me...once I drink ONE day...i carry it on and on...and I can't stop. 

​I really believe that anyone here who is heavily drinking needs to be pulled from their enviornment so they can get a fresh start...I've heard some stuff about how the medical system works in the UK and its not the same as the US.  But, I know when I was reading about what you all were saying about the medical system.  I wasn't really retaining the information because I was SO sick during recovery.

​So...is it an option for you to check into a hospital?  Tell them that you need safe detox..and for them to keep you and treat you?  I needed that to really be able to stop...because the withdrawals can be so great...that if I were to be left at home...I would always drink to take away the unpleasant feelings.  Once they got me thru the unpleasant feelings...I gained hope of getting back into physical shape....my mental status changed for the better.

​I could not have gotten here without the medical detox.  And I hold on to my physical recovery.  I do not want to be that sick again.  And right now I know what is it like to wake up without that NEED to drink to feel better and just because I don't want to lose that...I don't drink.  But, I couldn't have done this on my own.

 

[nh_user_562016]

I am whispering "Happy Birthday" under my breath !!  Sorry.

Pat xxxx

[nh_user_896716]

LOL patricia....your funny.

 

[nh_user_843164]

It is not an option to check into a hospital. Unless you are brought in comatosed by ambulance, you will be referred back to your GP and then alcohol services.

Unless you are really bad or as in my case, I went in for a bleed on the brain/cerebral haemorrage and then pretty much had liver failure, they had to treat me or fill out a load of paperwork because I had died on the premises.

The only alternative is to seek out private clinics like Paul runs and pay for it, which is why he gets so annoyed with the situation, because he tried to help people when working for the NHS.

The view seems to be, it is self inflicted and not really life threatening, therefore sort yourself out. Which is why there are so many of us here, trying to help each other with solutions and why we feel sorry for new people, who think the care system will take care of them and are in for a rude awakening.

It's funny, if you took a hacksaw to your arm and chopped it off, then went to A&E. They wouldn't say, that's self inflicted, go away, they would treat you.

[nh_user_896716]

Wow that is horrible.. This information just makes me so more scared for anyone really trying to stop and keep slipping back...now I really see why Naltraxone would be the best method to try. Cause it may help cut down to the point where there isn't danger in detox. And then maybe some willpower will kick in.

[nh_user_918241]

That's pretty much how it goes, Misssy. Most start cutting back from the outset, but it does tend to be a bit of a roller coaster. For some, the Naltrexone does most of the work, others get faster gains by working their mindfulness "muscle" and getting the prefrontal cortex to have a say in the goings on, rather than just letting the habit run the show. It takes practice though, it can be pretty weak at first. The brain is on autopilot so much, people tend to just let it run without much conscious thought. The part of the brain that deals with habits knows no good or bad, has no use for logic or reason and has no consciousness. It just jumps into action when there's anxiety or stress and replays whatever routine we "successfully" used to cope with the situation before. Realizing that and getting the conscious part of the brain to wake up and interrupt the habit/pattern has many benefits indeed. 

Congratulations on your 60 days!

[nh_user_896716]

Well I'm glad that you guys at least have the pill for an option...its horrible how the medical field treats you all.

[nh_user_507803]

To my dear friend US Twin! I am just going through my emails now after an eventful evening. It's your, well was!, your birthday !! One of my best ever life long friends birthday is today too. So that's why we have a lot in common I think. Oh bless you. I really hope you've had a nice sober sane day. Better than a psychotic demon drunk filled experience that you can't remember most of !!! 

So proud of you and thank you for helping me over the last year. Lots of love to you💕🙏🎂xxxxx