So it's nearly 2.00am. I started drinking at 9. Had a bottle of wine after only 2 day binge in 6 months. 2 months ago. So I'd like to tell you how I feel :-)(
I stopped writing as dark shadow came over post as it seems to all the time recently. Never used to.
So. As I've posted b4, I needed the buz. I miss the buzz. My partner is away so I drank. He doesn't drink . I've only drank 1 bootle of white wine in 4 hrs. I used to drink that in less than an hour. But I know what it can lead to. I lost a marriage, a successful business, a 6 bed house, well nearly everything. I'm happier now than I've been for years, no stress and I don't need to lead a materialistic life anymore. But occasionally I miss that buzz. It's worse in the summer too. Would love feedback on this. Want to try nalmefene( ? Can't spell it) saw Dr last week who won't prescribe. So..?
Hi Paper Fairy
Hope you are better now. Please explain, if you wish to, the dark shadow that seems to be following you recently. Not easy to explain sometimes but please be honest so we can face it head on. Quite used to dark periods myself but thats a long story. Has been a very unkind 5 years and has seen a marriage break up, having to accept that another man is living with my daughter (now 10 tears of age), major knee surgery, major ankle surgery following a car accident (metal plate and pins put in), my disabled mum was also injured and had major surgery on her elbow. this was one year ago. mum sadly died of pnumonia last november. Not been a kind 5 years has it?? Alcohol played no part in the marriage break up as I dId not drink then. Alcohol befriended me after this when living alone again after 15 years. Already my liver is turning against me. Can you blame it? It wasnt designed to motabalise Special Brew etc. Thats in then past now but, as I write, I am just going to crack open my 6th can of 7% lager. Be assured, I will have a restless night with liver pains. Do we not deserve better!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like you haven't given in and asked for help.
a understand your question really, doesn't sound as if you want advice or help, youi just seem to want to binge now and again? I was away for an overnight, and could tell immediately my husband had been drinking as soon as I cam home, he then went to bed about an hour after, and is still there almost 14 hours later, sleeping it off! So what really is your question here?
Your liver is not against you. You are against you. It took a long time for me to get off the booze. When I worked the solution in recovery it was remarkable what was revealed. I was very ill. Mentally, physically and spiritually. I am 10 months and 4 days without a drink. My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic.
The question is this? How can I get nalmefene if Dr won't prescribe it? I've tried naltrexone and it's different . A very different drug. You have to take it every day unlike nalmefene
Hi Richard. I've given in and asked for help many times.
The question I had to face was "Am I defeated by alcohol?"
You are NEVER defeated by alcohol! My idiot alcoholic husband accuses me of controlling him, I point out it's not me it's the alcohol, but you can stop that! Help is out there for those who want it
My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic. It's in that, there. I am an alcoholic. I had no choice in the drink. I have no power to stay away from alcohol for a long period. I always returned to it. I am an alcoholic. I am restless, irritable and discontent. Once a drink of alcohol is in me. I have no control over the amount I will drink. I am an alcoholic. In that is the immediate release and calm. It removes the fight. Then I had to fearlessly look at my nature behind the illness. My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic. I could not stop on my willpower alone. I tried. I admitted defeat and asked for help. I am 10 months and 4 days sober today.
I am defeated by alcohol. I've just gone 6 months, One binge and second one now. Doesn't stop the cravings occasionally though does it?
Depends what your definition of defeat is. I was and am defeated by alcohol. My life and thinking was also a mess behind the alcohol. I admitted defeat and went forward from there. I have sat with tormenting ghosts due to sudden withdrawal from alcohol due to being hospitalised with broken ribs, pancreatitis and a bleeding bowel after a four month bender. I have been in numerous jail cells due to alcohol. I have lost jobs, parents, friends, relationships. I have laid in the fetal postiton with my knees pulled up to my chest with the depair and fear on me trying to not drink. I drank every minute of every day apart from when I got a week on self-will and then always returned to the booze. It was destroying my life. It did destroy my life. I always drank again. The alcoholic life became the normal life and I was resigned to the fact of ending it all through drunken suicide or a knife. I was not always like this. I drank socially. This is a defeat though I told myself was still in control and had the booze by the balls and it was the anwer, I told myself this for years and I'm lucky to be alive. I gave in at the end of the last spree when I was in detox. The booze was the solution, not the problem. I was the problem. That's the nature of the disease. I am defeated by alcohol and I admitted that. I am 10 months and 4 days sober today. My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic.
You're not defeated enough if you're still drinking. The cravings disn;t stop for a few months. They did stop. During the cravings I had to go to any extreme to not drink. I talked to other alcoholics, I screamed. Argued. Cried. I didn't drink. It passed and I had another day. It is no longer like that. I asked for help and worked recovery.
Go to AA could quote anything from the big book. Hasn't stopped the craving tho
Maybe I'm one of the unfortunates..
I'm not here to convince you or persuade you that you might be alcoholic. I am only telling you my experience. The craving does stop. The obsession does stop. You remind me of me with the whineing and the fighting and the complaining. All marks of the underlying fear I experienced. Alcohol temporarily removes that.
Only if you're not willing to be honest.
You shouldn't judge people. I live in the day. Today I'm drinking. I probably wont be drinking tomorrow. Who knows?