Hi. I'm new to this forum. I'm very lucky to have an extremely supportive Mum that i can talk to about my anxiety but I feel guilty as during bad times I'm constantly texting or ringing her and I know she worries about me.
Anyway, I've always had anxiety to some extent but it's got really bad recently because my husband and I have been going through some relationship problems. I won't go in to detail but my worrying has put a strain on things and my husband is having doubts about our relationship and actually moved out to stay with his parents last week.
I was surprised by how well I was coping but yesterday i think it got too much. I couldn't keep my mind on my work at all, lost all hope and started feeling sick and lost my appetite. I struggled through the day but then had a bad night with anxiety dreams and not much sleep. I feel in a complete daze this morning and really disconnected. I'm sitting at work but can't do anything. I just want to get out of this state and be able to eat and function again.
I guess I just wanted to talk to some people who know what it feels like and I just want to find that hope that things will be ok (not necessarily that my marruage will be fine but that I will feel ok again)
There's no doubt this stressful time in your life and marriage has triggered your anxiety. All the things you were feeling, the fatigue, the hopelessness, the lack of appetite and general feeling of sickness is so normal when your body is dealing with anxiety. I am feeling all those things too and it's awful not to be able to turn it off. I also depend on my mom a lot despite being a grown married woman with two children. It's a comfort thing since she has been with me through many bouts of anxiety through my life. She loves you and wants to be there for you i'm sure. Things will get better. Sometimes it's just a slow process. Don't give up.
Not really a answer but i send you a big hug. This is your life and your journey and hooefully thru therapy and such this will all make better sense. Take one day at a time and attatch no outcome to anything. theres so many resources available. Anxiety and phobis workbooks, dbt workbooks, cbt wprkbooks. Codependent no more books.so much avaialbale. I do think a therapist is needed. You need to be able to vent and learn more about all this and yourself.
Thanks for your response. Yes, my Mum wants to help all she can, I just get a bit needy some days where I feel I need to be in constant contact! Also, sometimes there is nothing she can say which helps. I do feel a little better at the moment, the symptoms have eased and it feels bearable. I just wish there was something I could do to stop it happening as I don't feel in control of it and feel sure it will get bad again.
I think I need to take on board your comment about taking one day at a time. I find it very difficult to do, particularly as I'm supposed to be seeing my husband on Saturday and feel I need to be ok by then.
I have been seeing a therapist for a few months. It does feel somewhat good to speak to her but I can't tell if it's helping as I still keep getting the bouts of bad anxiety. I've been considering trying anti depressants. My doctor gave me a prescription a few weeks ago but I've been reluctant to take them.
This takes a lot of time. Its a mal function. Have you thought about trying acuouncture first before meds? Might be a valuable option. That and meditation. There are all variants of meditations out there. Forgiveness ones, healing ones, chi ones, energy ones..many to try out. Letting go ones.
Love you need to be you and love yourself and if your husband is on board then he is and if he isnt then its just not a proper match. This isnt your fault at all! It is a disorder petes sake. Please start asking yourself ..what can i do to love yourself more? Its important. Is casting off yourself right now whats best for you to maybe get back your husband who walked out? I get this is his life too. Its all good but i think somehow you feel on top of the anxiety attacks, on too of feeling exhausted and miserable, on top of trying to forge thru all this..you are suppose please him. Well is he pleasing you? What happens if you get anither kind of sickness? Does he walk out in that too? Not unheard of i think 30 percent of men walk out on their sick wives for whatever sickness they have. Woman only 11 percent walk away. To me its a character flaw on the other person. I understand it but they best pray they stay healthy in every area because oh boy is karma a b*tch. But thats in them. Im just saying this is about you right now. Trust the process of life.
in the wise words of Robin Williams..I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
take care and wishing you all the stregnth you need to forge thru this. And you will. At your own pace.
Thanks for your message. I have been trying mindfulness for a few weeks, not really noticed a difference but going to carry on with it.
I am feeling better today thankfully. I think I did what you said and decided I'm not going to put pressure on myself to get better too quickly. If my husband decides he doesn't want to be with me any more then so be it, as hard as it will be. He hasn't exactly walked out though, he just said he's not sure about us so we decided to have a bit of time apart and sort of go back to the beginning and start dating.
Anyway, thanks again for your kind message, its lovely to know there are people out there who care and understand.