I found out in February this year I have hsv2.
I feel so disgusted with myself. I have been really struggling with it.
Then in may I met a guy and we started dating. And I never told him I have it. I take medication everyday and we use protection. But I feel horrible all the time. I know I need to tell him but part of the reason I haven't is because I don't know how to and we already have a long distance relationship so it makes it harder. I'm terrified of losing him.
I know I have done the wrong thing. I am seeking some advice as to what to do and how to even have this discussion with him
You need to tell him. It's not fair to put someone at risk without them knowing. I'm sure you would want the same respect ... Hiding it from him will make you lose him not telling him...
There are millions of American who have and have not been dx with this problem. It's hard telling someone about something that you feel so ashamed of. But tell him and let him know that you recently found out and that you take your medicine as directed and that you didn't mean to be mischievous but you are just ashamed and that you understand however he feels about the situation. I'm sure he has somethings that he hasn't discussed with you. We are all human, not perfect. Good luck and everyone has something that they are ashamed of.
So i have just been diagnosed about a week ago with HSV - 2 (Genital Herpes) and it shocked me. I have been in a loving relationship for almost 5 years now, so i was confused as to where this had come from, as both me and my partner are completley faithfull. Anyway, as soon as i was diagnosed i had to approach telling my boyfriend, my initial thoughts were "this is the end of such a wonderful thing, he is going to think i have been unfaithful, he will think im dirty and no one will ever want to touch me again". In my head i convinced myself that i was going to be alone from that moment on.
I phoned my boyfriend on the walk home from the clinic just after finding out, and i told him. My words were "Your not going to love me anymore but i completely understand, i need to tell you something and its horrible. I have herpes." He didnt speak at first and then sounded confused, he said "what does this mean?", and i said to him as the nurse told me when i questioned her about herpes in long-term relationships, you can have HSV-2 without symptoms for a long time, sometimes it will stay hidden until times of stress and/or illness. I had tonsilitus and was on antibiotics and also a lot of work to do at uni which explains why it flared up.
He completley shocked me with his reaction, he asked me what was the big deal as it doesn't change anything. I then did loads of reasearch on the internet about the virus as i wanted to sit him down and go through the facts so he knows what hes getting into. After explaining to him there is a chance one day he could contract the virus or he may already have it and not be showing symptoms, he told me i was worth the risk. After all the way he put it was like this "its a minor skin condition that WONT kill you. Yes it may irritate you now and again but there are people in the world being diagnosed with much worse", he thanked me for telling him and achnowledges i could have just hidden it but honesty speaks for itself.
You should tell him and do it as soon as you have a chance, its terrifying but people can surprise you. Prepare yourself with some reassuring facts becuase he may not fully understand what having this means. Once people understand how trivial this condition actually is it doesnt seem as much of a problem. And if he cant see past it, hes not worth it anyway. A possible good point to having herpes is that in a world full of potential partners, having herpes narrows it down to the understanding and openminded.