Think I might be depressed but don't want to go to the GP

Mental health
1

When I say I 'don't want to go to the GP' I don't mean I don't want to seek help but I just think I'll find it difficult as I have a really hard time opening up and talking about my self. So considering that's what I'll have to do I'm looking for guidance and wondering if anyone else has been through this? Below are the 'symptoms' I have:

- constantly feel empty emotionally

- Find it extremely difficult to open up, can't talk to people about emotions or problems

- Put on an act when around people, fake emotions to draw away suspicion and to fit in

- Very tired, over sleep and find it difficult to fall asleep

- little to no confidence

- Dislike attention

- Am socially awkward but can switch it off and appear outgoing when I want to be

- tend to hate myself

- Very negative attitude, Pessimistic

- Lack of self worth. Feel like a burden and a waste of space

- Don't have high hopes for the future

- Haven't thought about killing myself now but have on a number of occasions imagined myself to be a 40 year old man living alone in a depressing flat and ending it then.

- Never happy with what I have

This is how I've felt almost 90% of the time I'm by myself for the last 3-4 years now. Like I said when I'm around people I fake emotions and I doubt my friends or family have any idea I feel this way.

Another worry of mine is that I go to the GP, tell them all this for them to say "you don't have depression" then I just don't know what I'll do with myself rolleyes

Thank you for taking the time to read this <3

2

I take it from your user name, that money might be the root of your depression?

3

Hi Ross

It sounds very much like anxiety and depression. Write down all that you put here, and give it to the doctor. Explain to your GP that you find it difficult to explain and that's why you have written it down. The gp will understand. Don't let your fear of explaining your difficulties put you off getting the help you need.

Please make the appointment today! Look forward to hearing your progress ♥♥♥

God bless xx

4

Maybe wrong, but it seems you have low self esteem, usually due to other people! You are as important as everyone else. I'm sorry you don't feel able to talk to a doctor, but everything is just between him/her. It will be a strength to go to the doctor and what have you got to lose? If anti depressants help then surely you will be able to think more clearly? At least give it a chance like we have all had to do. Personally I have been on them for years and I have found they have given me peace in myself and not afraid to admit it. It is an illness like any other, the problem is that no one can see it. Good luck x

5

Hi Rossedindebt,

Some of what you have listed above is exactly how i feel right now

((hugs))

I too cannot get the courage to go and see my GP for fear of being dismissed, oh and the lack of being able to get an appt too.

Sometimes we just have to be brave and conquer our fears.

good luck x

6

The doctor would never dismiss you because you are suffering with an illness. I don't mean to be hard but would you say to someone who had broken their leg o cope with it? The problem with this illness is because to others it is invisible unless they have suffered with it. Please go to the doctors, who knows you might get a chance to feel so much better. Good luck

7

Haha no that's just a name I use when rossedintranslation is too long

8

Thanks for your comments guys, I'll try to book an appointment when I'm back home next week. I've written my list on my phone so I'll show that to him if I can't speak about it. I'll let you know how it goes

9

Good for you, that shows strength 

10

I was the same when I realised something was wrong with me, in fact to this day I won't pursue further care for fear of discovering my mental state is worse than I thought it was.

I first was taken to the doctor when I was 15 and I couldn't really tell the doctor details because I honestly thought I was just a sh*tty human being. Instead I wrote everything down and handed that to him when I next saw him.

It's easier to do because you can calmly evaluate yourself and the issues at home in a peaceful environment. If you're like me and you get flustered and seem confused, forgetting certain details of your health, it's easier to write and down and ask them to read that instead of having you spout out something whilst being uncomfortable.

Good luck x

11

You are no different to anyone else! You have an illness. So many people have this, you should not be ashamed of being ill! Do what I do and realise that Doctors are doing a job, they will not feel any less of you. How do you think Doctors earn their money? It is a job to them and believe me they understand. Please get some help, it is not a weakness 

12

Hi it does sound like you do have depression, this is how i have felt at times. I hope you can find yourself some help before it gets worse. 

With me I have had low self esteem, sleeping problems, at time not liking myself this was when i decided to go back on Zoloft, Trazodone, and Lamotrigine with my lorazepam and it has helped with my moods a lot. 

You should go see a doctor and get on a low dose of an antidepressant before your depression gets worse

13

That's one of the main issues in my case. I normally avoid the doctors because I think my problems are miniscule compared to other people and therefor a waste of time. Hard to get out of that train of thought, I don't even know why I actually think like that.

14

It doesn't matter why you think like that, the point is that you do. It could be a part of your illness and only you can be brave enough to face your fear. If you can do just that then you are helping yourself with the recovery process

15

Going to your gp will make you feel that you have taken a positive step in the right direction. Get that appointment made and Good luck

16

Going to see your gp will make you feel that you have taken a positive step in the right direction. Good luck

17

I almost had a heart attack when I went to see my GP for the first time!!! I was absolutely terrified, I was shaking violently, sweating, stammering, it really was scary. But, doctors are caring, empathetic and understanding. Is there a GP you know well at your surgery? Or one who specialises in mental health? 

I didn't say all I wanted/needed to say in that first appointment, we took things one step at a time because I was struggling. She saw me once a week for a while, then once every 3 weeks and now once every 4/5 weeks and I have been seeing her since June now. My GP is wonderful and so caring and supportive and since that first appointment I was so glad that I didn't back out. 

You've received some great advice here already, writing things down is a great idea - I wrote down absolutely everything, a whole script basically! I didn't use it, but it collated my thoughts and made things easier. 

You'll be making a brilliant, positive step by seeing your GP and I wish you the best of luck with it! x

18

thank you for your kind words, was at the doctors last night for a different reason. again i bottled it and could not for the life of me tell him.