Yea...a sponser is really (or was for me)...someone you pick..that is similar to you....Like I wouldn't do well with a sponser who said...you MUST do the steps..or you MUST do anything for that matter.
Actually, when the woman approached me to be my sponser...I asked her...what do I HAVE to do? She said..just call me everyday.
Guess what? I didn't do that..to test her.....would she reject me? She didn't....I would laugh at her...and then I would comply...I played games all the time...to see if she would reject me...she never did. I was lucky to have her in my life...She was like a therapist....a friend....
Many people DUMP sponsers all the time....
As far as the church aspect...i learned that it is really because...churches are "charity" oriented....people in AA need a place to meet...churches allow it...not only for AA..but for Alanon...
The church gets "rent". I actually got the key to the church because I would make coffee for my "home" meeting (per my sponsers request). It turned out to be good for me...because I NEEDED to be needed. But, they gave me a KEY to the church because I had to get there early.
I was like WHAT? ME a key to anything? Someone trusts me? Me the "drunk". These are just some of the things I got from AA....And again..I never expected my mind to change about it.
I think the reason I am not going right now is because my sponser died....I had her over 12 years...I never want another one..and wouldn't have one..but going to AA..and knowing she is dead...just reminds me she is dead I think....I think that is why I don't go....
And I have many meetings to chose from here in my state...if the UK only has a few...and you go to one and you hate it....its not like you can move on.
I hope you do go....to the ONE therapy session...basically that is the AA concept....without the little cliches...etc....
I'm so happy for you that you have 5 days....that is just when you start feeling better again....laughing....is great too....AND feeling proud of myself....I too am proud of myself....its so much better than being sick and feeling guilty (feeling proud).
looking forward to your post tommorow....LAL (instead of LOL)...and when I was practicing that at work....I was feeling better after...its hard thou if you are really opinionated like me...to shhhhhhhhh.....
Thanks Misssy
It's been really difficult. I'm on to day 8 and feeling very flat around this time of the eve. I know I've done well and the positives do really outweigh the negatives in the day time especially in the morning but coming round to dinner time is very tough . I'm going to write more about AA in reply to ~Kelly so please look out for it there!!
I like your LAL ha ha !! very true and also difficult if you are opinionated like myself too !!!
Best wishes to you xx
Hi again Kelly
Thanks for your kind words ! How are you doing now ? Have you been back to AA yet .?
I was meant to go last night but I couldnt make it . I'm on day 8 and although feeling so much better in the mornings and day time , the evenings are becoming really difficult. I know I need to improve my social life etc but I do have many worries at this time with alot of new changes about to happen. I know drink will not help but I'm already thinking , just the one . When I gave up for three months about 7 years ago it was not difficult like now
I am like you thinking good and bad things about AA. Only bad for me ! I'm not slagging AA off at all. I feel initualy the first meeting really made me think and I went for it and it worked. I now am feeling a little pressured ! Although I'm following the just for today motto I'm finding it difficult seeing myself sober forever. I dont go out much and dont really have drinking freinds but when I do go out its usually for a quiet meal where I would be happy most of the time to drive and have one drink ( of course I would prefer more) I am now thinking that perhaps with all the stress removed from my life when things improve I will be able to do that . Perhaps I'm kidding myself again but the AA is making me feel abit trapped in a way
I'm not religious . I'm avery spiritual person. God to me is love and acceptance and peace between us all. People caring and helping one another whatever stange they are at on their journey. Thats how I see the AA and I did get a very warm feeling when I went . I saw a beautiful rainbow yesterday and felt that was helping me along .
Day by day I will go but I'm making my decisions and not going to be hard on myself . The AA will be there for support whatever I'm sure
Good luck to you Kelly and please let us know how you are doing xx
Also , I must add that if I'm feeling so drawn to something with my wine ! then that is evidence that my problem is big and I must deal with it . If I can crack this and not think about it then I will feel amazing . Is that how you felt for 11 years Kelly ?
I also feel that instead of becoming addicted to AA meetings to replace my addiction for alcohol (like many do !) I could become addicted to a new hobby with new friends . Infact the word to replace addiction could be passion . That sounds better .
I think the AA is wonderful but I have a friend that goes every week and has been doing so for three years . She admits that she cant do it without the AA . I dont think I need to be reminded re alcohol on a weekly basis . I need it to fade away and be replaced by something better
What do you think ?
I'm doing ok thank you! I've fallen off the wagon a few times. Wish I could go back to 2002! Go to youtube and look up "ten reasons to run from alcoholics anonymous!" Sums it all up for me. I tried it when I quit for 11 years and trying it again. I can't seem to agree with their way of living, with their concept, with their ideas.
I love the AA people in my area. As far as that "warm" feeling.....nah, I didn't get that either. And one thing you're right about is NOT being so hard on yourself. I might have had 11 years sober but this time I'm relapsing on and off. I choose to understand that it's different this time. I'm not as strong but I'm still working it as hard as I can. Yes, day by day.
Good luck to you also and keep in touch on how you're doing! AA is for some people but not for everyone. I say whatever works. Do a lot of reasearch. You'll be amazed at what you find 
Apparently I said something wrong! I just typed up an entire reply for it to be moderated. I wonder am I allowed to give my email on here? I really want to respond to you!!! You do not need AA to quit. There are other options!
Emis Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.
http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages
I know I do not want to hear the old timers stories over and over. Also, I might believe I"m powerless over alcohol but I do not believe I have to consider myself insane. I have control and I need to realize that.
All URLs get moderated and I think that email addresses aren't published, because it is better not to give them out to the whole world, spammers and weirdos.
PM someone if you want to give them your email address, it is safer. Report your own post and have it deleted.
I have however signed you up via your email, for unlimited goat pron.
(only joking of course)
Yes, I agree Kelly . I have self control also and it's different for each and everyone of us . Thats such a pain when you write so much and it goes to moderation . You can always message me privately on here
We will be ok ! You've done amazingly well . Just keep going x
I don't care about my email. If I get spam I just delete it or change my address.
On that note, how to I private message someone?
Still new to the site. I will figure out private messaging. In the meantime, stay sober and do what you think is best for you! Not what everyone tells you to do. We all get sober in our own ways. Me? I'm not a good one to speak to right now as I've slipped two times in three weeks. AA drove me the first time and I drove myself the second time. Since I'm not to blame anyone then it was me both times, ha!
Ha ha !!! yes indeed
Just click on the profiles and you should be able to find the PM there I think .
Sleep well and stay positive
Just click on the envelope below the person's star rating.
keep it up...8 days..the more you go...the better you feel.
Hi again!
For me - I've had 3 days off work. That is unual and I've had appointments that I was disappointed at when I left. So, stress is my trigger. Glad to be working the next three days with one off and back on two. That one day off is for outpaitent counseling so hopefully this is the start of some good days. I've gotten as far as a month. That time I did better without AA.
I'm trying to figure out how to have fun without alcohol. I know what the stats are and what everyone says but, I enjoy hanging out with my fiiends and having drinks. Although I am figuing out who my friends are since I'm trying to quit and also since I deacivated my facebook account. Wanna find out who you're friends are - just get off facebook, lol!
Best Wishes to you also !!!!