what is wrong with me. Need feedback.

Mental health
1

Hi guys im tiffany, 19 years old. I havent been active here since the last 2 weeks because I thought I had recovered from anxiety. 

Last 2 weeks I've been happy, relaxed, cheerful , ive been out shopping and I was so happy ti be my normal self.My ecg abd echo reports  came back normal and since then I havent been having panic attacks. 

No cheat aches, palpitations nothing. 

But since yesterday I've been feeling really down. 

Like everything around me isnt real. 

My mind is constantly telling me im goin crazy. 

I look in the mirror and think yes I feel different im not like others. 

Im gonna end up being crazy. 

even as im writing this I feel really tired and not like myself. 

Its freakin me out. 

I know it's my mind playing games and the over thinking brought this up but even when I'm watching tv im lost in these thoughts.  

Also im a pretty religious girlabnd I'm trying to pray but I've been having really bad sexual thoughts about Jesus. 

And it just... im so disgusted with myself I dont know what to do :'( I feel even God himself hates me now and he wont help me. 

Im feeling so suicidal just wanna end it. 

But I wanna live a happy life like I used to 3 months ago.Its been 2  days, these constant negative thoughts dont leave my mind I dont even know what led them on! 

My family loves me to pieces and I cant hurt them or give them unecessary stress I have everything I need I have loving family and friends yet my mind is not at ease. 

These thoughts juat came out of no where all I do is sit in my room and pay attention to them and its made it worse I cant just push em' away and do my own thing! 

Its so frustrating I'm literally crying my eyes out what do I do. 

:'( 

 

2

Thats depression for you one minute you feel normal and the next you feel like the world is collapsing in on you.

3

Hi Tiffany, 

This is depression which has been brought on by your anxiety, these things take time to subside don't be so hard on yourself. Prayer gives you piece of mind but the whole point is that you are not thinking of anything when you pray. I don't mean to sound like the devil on your left shoulder but try to seek modes of sexual release i.e porn, masturbation. This is ill advised as you are religious but I'm sure there is less Sin in imagining 'Lance Hardwood' or 'Lisa Ann' (my personal favorite) than thinking about Jesus.

Many people who are religious are torn between their faith and human needs. Perhaps you need to confess or speak to someone as being bottled up makes things worse.

Please feel free to post again if you want to discuss more

4

Hi Tiffany,

I'm no expert but it sounds like depression you're suffering with.

I'm not religious myself but I understand the comfort it brings you to have faith.

Putting yourself down about things you think you've done wrong is only going to make the depression worse so try think positively, try exploring your sexuality instead of running from it because the more you bottle it up the worse it gets. Sexual frustration gets at us all once in a while, perhaps your anxiety may be your sexual tension trying to get out......just a thought.

I don't know if this may help but with my depression the only thing that helped me was antidepressants from my doctor, I don't know if that would be something that would interest you or not, also for my panic attacks I take a beta blocker, it has literally turned my world around, my moods aren't all over the place, I don't have panic attacks anymore which has alleviated my anxiety, kind of a knock on effect.

I've suffered with anxiety, panic attacks and depression for 8 years and medication is the only thing, hand on heart, I can say has really worked for me. i could give you all the self help tips I used to try but none are long lasting and don't have the same effect after a while so you're back to square one.

Trust in your faith though, I know its the only thing that keeps some people going. God has put you on this earth to overcome mortal challenges and he wouldn't challenge you if he didn't think you were strong enough to overcome them.

May God be with you always and may you always be blessed by his love.

Danielle

5

Tiffany, you are not alone with the dreamlike, dazed, brain fog, feeling not like yourself feelings.  I've been feeling that way for a few months now. Sometimes, I've gotten so scared. Fear only makes us more anxious.  Praying and meditating(repeating it) on scripture (2 Timothy 1:7)helps. I have the symptoms of depersonalization.  Someone told me depersonalizing helps/protects against anxiety.  Also, it is harmless.  Dealing with your anxiety is the key. Continuously overly analyzing or making more out of a situation/behavior then you should is not good.  My therapist told me when a negative thought enters my head immediately replace it with a positive one (for you think about those happy times you had 3 months ago). Talking to someone helps and having someone to pray with and for you out loud so that you hear them.  God knows the thoughts you are having about Jesus are not the ones you want. Speak to the thoughts and tell them to leave your mind.  This may sound strange, but works. Praying for you. I am having a really good day today, even with these feeling.  When focus on other things, I think about my situation less. Did something happened which devastated you?