What should I do?

Mental health
1

I'm at university and started to get depressed at the beginning of my second year. It was manageable and didn't really become a problem until the second term which is just coming to an end.

Throughout this 10 week term i have gone from being very sociable, an active member of sports teams, to not going to lectures and stopping sports all together due to anxiety, depression and dissociation. Friends realise i have changed and some have asked if there is something wrong me.

As a result my studies have suffered dramatically, and it all hit home when i realised i was having suicidal thoughts. The realisation that i was going to fail this terms exams and therefore most likely the year, really hit home. Obviously the situation was untenable so i pretty much decided to withdraw myself from worrying about having to study and work and just try and get my head straight and my life back on track. I didnt talk to my parents for a while and they started to get really worried, but when i got over the really dark stage i informed them that i have been depressed, but not the full depths of what i have been going through.

I have spoken to my tutor about resitting the year but i have been told i need to see counselors first so they can analyse whether i have a case, as the university i am at is very strict in cases like these. However the counselors are 'very busy' and wont be able to see me until the summer term.

I feel the best thing to do is to try and revise best for my finals in the summer, but i dont want the university to see i am working and then make light of my situation.

What do you think i should do from now? I dont really want to tell my parents quite the extent of what i was feeling, but at the same time whenever i speak to them they ask about exams results from this term, which i never even attended. I feel like i am back on track, but the constant reminder that i have failed at life is pretty unbearable and im worried i might slip back into a lull if i cant talk to anyone about it.

People around me (tutor, parents), myself included think that the best thing to do is to try and get over the depressive thoughts and the anxiety, but it feels like the university and everyone around is geared up to make sure i constantly reminded that i am going to have to pay a price for the time earlier this term. I just dont know what to do from here.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

2

Hi,

sorry to hear that you are suffering, I too am a student. Getting treatment from a psychiatrist is the first step.

He will give you anti depressants or anti psychotics to calm you down. After a while the drugs will kick in and your symptoms should disappear.

If you are worried about expectations tell your parents they may not know how to react to your news but remember this that 1:4 get mental health problems.

You may need to defer for a year to let yourself get back control over your situation but take the steps and you will feel better eventually.

Richard

3

Be sure you are ok before resuming your school schedule. You have to really be alright or you could risk doing the same thing again. See a regular doctor if you can and talk to them. I waited a long time to ask for help and it was almost too late. Good luck. I understand I have been there.

4

Hello,

It sounds like your mind is on a roller coaster of thoughts. First of all, you have in no way 'failed at life'. You speak intelligently and most importantly, you have recognized these things that are going wrong. You should stop putting yourself down, feel proud of yourself that you have got into uni and are are half way through.

University is emotionally and mentally draining at times. All that work and the pressure and the expectations. I myself am a student and nearly finished now, and you will be too. A lot of students also suffer from depression, and you are not alone in this. It is always helpful to think 'what's the worst that can happen?' Say you don't pass this year, simply re-do it. Some people even take a year out because its too much. You do seem to care about this year, so I would say just try your best and see what happens.

Please don't avoid this issue with your parents. I'm guessing you don't want to worry them or to let them down. But having an open conversation about how difficult this has all been for you will help you. They love you and should support you and give loving advice. Same goes for the friends who ask if you are okay, sometimes opening up is the best medicine.

Study as much as you can, but also make time to do something different: go swimming, go out with friends, go to a gym class... do something for yourself to take the pressure off. I started with a class of around 40 at the start of my course, I think there are now 10 of us! The rest couldn't deal with it and left.

There are answers, there are alternatives, there is help and you are not alone.