why is it that when you try your best to explain things to people they still just don't get it? Or don't take you seriously? I know and understand that maybe people who haven't suffered wouldn't get it but surely they Should try and come up with something better than "you just need to get out more" going out scares the hell out of me right now! Or "you have to look at the good things in life" ok I know I have good things (my 5 babies) love them to bits but doesn't change how I feel, i wish it did! "think positive thoughts" ok, can you teach me how? "Tomorrow's a new day" yes it is but unfortunately it's just going to be the same as today and any other day! So then I sound impossible like I don't want help, like im not trying! Believe me i am! Just wish I had someone close that had my back instead of quoting things to me like "laughter is the best medicine" Well where can I buy this medicine and can I buy in bulk? Im sorry just fed up with fighting this alone with no one that understands me. I know people on here understand and that's great but sometimes I just wish I had someone who can physically be here but why would they? It's just a phase, all in my head, all I need to do is change the way I think and everything will be fine!
I know. It's unexplainable. Sometimes I feel it's just as bad as the Depression itself. Last year I spent 8 weeks in a clinic for depression and anxiety and the best of the whole program were the people. They understood. They knew what you were going through.
This is what I posted on my FB page a while ago, because it describes my feelings really well:
It is a feeling of complete hopelessness where there is no escape. The voice in my head is my enemy, and there is a nonstop monologue of negativity. It destroys self-esteem and hints at a future of gloom and despair. It speaks irrationally, but the nonstop propaganda becomes my reality. It is a hateful form that steps inside my body and takes over. The evil puppet master wants to force you into that dark cave where you huddle under blankets and want the world to go away. It wants me to grab for that extra cocktail to ease the pain. It wants me to take that additional Xanax to numb the constant mental knife stabs. It wants me to eat that extra cookie as comfort food, and then berates me for gaining an extra pound. It wants to consume me.
The twenty-four hour a day internal monologue is tiring, and sometimes I just want to shut my brain off. Kick the dark passenger out of the car.
I spent so long keeping it to myself, and when I finally get the courage to try to explain to people/family im just left feeling disappointed, Feel like I'd have been better off keeping inside xx
Lovely words by the way xxx
Some people just dont get it. But many do! Don't give up. I sometimes feel that talking about depression or just mentioning that I have it makes me an ambassador for everyone who is suffering from mental illness.
I think with anything it starts with taking a step forward, even if its into the uncomfortable unknown. For example if we continue to think that the rest of our life will be like Groundhog Day, same day repeated over and over, then what is the point in having the ability to think beyond if we don't use it for our own advantage? You know that with my situationi'm pretty tired with it, but thinking theres no possibilty of change wont get me anywhere with it either. So we have to push on and if by chance we find something along the way that brightens our day, then that's great right? What i'm trying to say is keep that wonderful chin up woman 
My partner used to use things like 'dont worry about it' or 'snap out of it' or 'go out have fun' I wanted him to understand how it felt to be me
I wrote a letter because I just couldn't find the words to explain how I felt it was so detailed about how it felt to have the world on my shoulders and wanted to hide away from everyone and everything and how I felt when he said the things he said
When he read it, he got upset and said he never realised and he was trying to help, it worked great and we are doing great and really seem to understand each other better now x
I really feel for you as I too feel alone and wish so much there was someone who could just say "would you like a cup of tea?". I have lived alone for 30 years and it is really getting to me. The loneliness is unbearable. Who are these people who quote all these inane things to you? Are they family or friends, or strangers?
No body understands depression and anxiety like those who experience it. I know how hard it is to explain nothing helps relieve it.
Yes at least we have each other here. People who understand. Such a difficult illness to cope with, and so hard being alone to cope with it!!
I think that was a great idea writing the letter to your partner. So good that he read and understood what you are going through. I am so glad things are now good between you.
That's a wonderful idea! Bravo!
Yes Anne, I hear you. I live alone too and I soak up all the positive experiences when I am visiting a friend of mine who lives far away, but has similar issues as I have. We enjoy just having breakfast together or knitting or watching TV.
Another thought is to look up a group for depression in your area. I know over here (Canada) there are many different groups which are free and it's really lovely to connect once a week or just once a month with people who have the same problem as you do.
I have used meetup dot com to find a depression and anxiety group. There is also something like AA just for Depression called "Emotions Anonymous" - maybe they have a group close to you.
Many churches offer support groups as well... or hospitals. Sometimes it's even with free lunch! LOL
thank you for your replies, sorry was a bitter post, just attempted to speak to a couple of family members and an old friend and all i was left feeling was frustration and kinda makes me feel a little unloved, pathetic I know!
Thank you again for the comments xx
It's not pathetic at all! It's a very common reaction (at least for me) and it pulls you down when your openness and honesty is not met with compassion and understanding.
I hope you feel better now!
Xxx
It's just it takes so much for me to try to open up to people and then after all my efforts i feel like im shot down! Really fed up! Xx
Oh I hear you. I have my mask on most of the time and that's a good one! I've been training for 30+ years to hide my true feelings. And when you finally do and take it off and people just say "well go for a walk" it's just like a punch in the stomach. Why bother... nobody wants to know, nobody cares. But that's not true. Those are only our thoughts. In fact people around you care a great deal. They might just not be able to see that dark monster that is surrounding you.... it's invisible for them.
Xxx
Wish it was invisible to me too xx
LOL yes me too!
Xx