my boyfriend of over 4 years broke up with me about a month ago out of no where. we had honestly a perfect relationship. we would barely fight and if we did it would be something small and would make up right away. he suffers with anxiety and the week before he broke up with me he explained he wasnt feeling himself but that he was trying to stay positive. we said we loved each other everyday and we had so many plans for the future. one night after work he ended things in floods of tears he explained that he wasnt himself recently and that hes been struggling with everything in his life. he said he couldnt do this anymore and that he cant be with me, even though he loves and cares about me so much and advised he needs to focus on himself even if it means i hate him. i told him i could be here for him and that ill never hate him. this all came as a complete shock to me and im devastated. im trying to give him his space and not reach out but its so hard. he hasnt even reached out to see how i am doing the last month.. it seems like he doesnt even care about me anymore.. my mind keeps playing tricks on me. i know anxiety is completely debilitating and he orobably doesnt know his own thoughts at the moment but i feel so let down and hurt by his actions to just cut me off and out of his life after i have been there for him for so long and we had so many plans for the future. i just dint know what to think or do. will he ever reach out to me again? wondering has anyone else been in a similar situation and what was rhe outcome?
it’s not that he doesn’t love you. Anxiety can be so overwhelming that there’s just not enough of a person to give to another. it is all consuming. Even in a relationship when there is no anxiety, there is a lot of yourself that you have to give to the other person which can also sometimes be overwhelming. But when you add anxiety on top of it it can be too much for someone even if they truly want to be with you.
I know that feeling and I have been through it and that’s exactly why I’m not in a relationship right now. , even though I really would like to be. if I can’t take care of myself, I can’t give anything to the other person, and there are certain expectations in a relationship people with anxiety cannot live up to. … unless it is well-managed anxiety.
i no you feel hurt and let down and it’s a terrible feeling. But it sounds like at this time he just can’t be in a relationship.
Anxiety is like having demons in your head just messing with your thoughts and it’s truly depressing. I’m hoping that he gets some help with a counselor or therapist because it’s difficult to do alone.
he May or may not reach out to you again. In either case, he needs to make the decision. it may sound strange but he’s actually doing you a favor by trying to get himself together again. Because the way he is now, he knows he cannot have a successful relationship. He needs to be a whole person first.
just give him space and keep yourself busy so that you can get on with your life in the meantime.