Okay so basically, I'm bisexual and I have really bad anxiety and Hypocondria. Well anyways, I decided to hook up with this really attractive dude. I went over and he was messing around with my hole without a condom like he was just grinding it. But then out of no where he puts it in me without a condom on and like 15 seconds later I pull out and I got really annoyed and told him to put a condom on which he did. Put anyways about a week and a half passed and now I'm sick. I have a sore throat, a little body ache, and that's it. Like could I have HIV or am I overreacting. I already talked to the guy and he said that he is clean and that he doesn't produce pre cum so I shouldn't worry but my anxiety won't let me forget about it.
Well the best thing to do is get tested 3 months after the exposure and get retested again after 3 months after the first one. It's a waiting game to know if you're HIV positive or not. I have been promiscuous before and thank God I have not had HIV. I've been hypochondriac knowing I put myself to risk, and I experienced what you're experiencing right now. Best way to do it is to do it with protection and be in a monogamous relationship. Good luck to you.
And. Please don't fall for that "I am clean" line. I've heard that a couple of times and I ended up having 3 stds good thing I got treated early and it's cured now. Just stay safe.
JP,
It sounds like you really know yourself well enough to know that you have this background noise going on in your like called anxiety with all its haunting voices.
What would be so wrong with just getting tested and putting those voices at lease, of course, it won't take long for them to find something else to dig their teeth into. You know that from experience....
A "minfulness course" often offered at a hospital might be a good next step. After a minfulness course many years ago I found that that critical judgmental voice became less over burdening. Also, check out The Power of NOW by Eckart Tolle. Why? Because it sounds like you are everywere but. You are in good company but you are experiencing a kind of hell that you don't have to.
Could you be sabotaging your intimate encounter because it doesn't really fit into you plan for yourself? Maybe/maybe not.....
I like to think of people (including myself) as merely "sexual". Being bisexual might have its advantages since you can to there with both sexes but maybe someday decide one is worth hanging around with.
Go get tested. Your body could by lying about his status since he doesn't want to be sigmatized by a label.
I wish you well!
DL