Diagnosed with Herpes type one and feeling alone.

Sexual health
1

I was diagnosed with herpes type one , two days ago. Im only twenty three , a young , decent looking girl and my whole world has just flipped upside down. I started dating a guy after being single for over a year and had decided it was time to get back out there. We slept together an with in a matter of hours something wasn't right. The long wait of my test results I managed to convince myself that i just had thrush and a horrible rash from shaving, but my results came back positive.

Im usually a strong confident person that helps people through things, but since ive been dignoised i feel depressed, i cant eat , i cant tell my parents , ive told my best friends and theyre being really supportive but i dont want to be around them because i feel disgusting.

To make matters worse the guy who gave me it , who i was very kind to him about giving me it , and didnt shout at him but told him i understood he didnt know blah blah , has started to reject me.

Im feeling completely alone and dont know what to do with myself. If anyone could give me advice or share their experince with me it might help

2

Hey love.

I'm in the same boat but to make things worse I'm a virgin and I got it from my boyfriend from skin to skin contact.

I had my first outbreak 2 months ago and wished it would never happen again, and when I got tested my results were negative. But currently I'm having my second outbreak which I thought and prayed would never happen!

I'm still so ashamed, but it shows that no your not dirty if you have this stupid virus cause you can get it even if you are a virgin.

Anyway I still haven't come to terms with it myself and my boyfriend is still in denial saying it can't be herpes cause his never had an outbreak. But all the signs and symptoms show that it is!

Well it makes me feel better knowing that There is soooo many people with this condition.

I have told NO ONE about it except my boyfriend who gave it to me to begin with.

But yeah if you look after yourself and keep your immune system up and try stress less and have a healthy diet, I'm sure you won't get recurrent outbreaks.

I usually just read the forums and never reply but seeing this made me want to reach out to you so you know that your not alone.

God bless!

3

thanks so much for replying , its comforting knowing that there's other people going through the same thing.

It horrid thinking how easily and quickly its passed on then that it for life.

You should try and confide in a really close friends because they are usually alot better to speak to in general about things rather than boys.

My outbreak only lasted a week , but i used yoghurt on the blisters ,and it worked so much better than the cream , if youve not tried it , give it a shotsmile

Thanks again for replying just speaking to someone that knows how you feel helps a lot

xx

4

Hey im 24 and i got diagnosed with type 2 in november i felt horrible and dirty for weeks but i know im not i have only had 2 sexual partners and my current boyfriend i have been with for nearly 5 years and have a little girl with him.

I was told i most likely caught it from my boyfriend he used to suffer with colds when he was younger so carries the virus but i caught it through oral sex we hadnt had sex or anything for about 3 months before i had my first outbreak so it was a real shock to me.

I have been lucky with outbreaks as i only usually get a sting after sex but its gonethe next day although my first outbreak was quite severe i havnt had one like it since

Vitamins are a good thing to take everyday to build your immune system up and so is any food that is natuarally red in colour there is something in them that help your immune system.

Its not nice having it and it took me a while to come to terms with it but i just look at it that it could be worse and people do have worse.

Give yourself time to come to terms with it emotionally but i promise its not the end of the world and hopefully your outbreaks wont be too bad xx

5

Hi ladies! Thank you for sharing your experiences and taking the initiative to heal yourselves. It is very hard talking about having this bitch of a virus but talking about it will help to speed up your mental healing.

I was diagnosed a little over a year ago. At the time I was breastfeeding my 1yr old daughter and was terrified that I would pass it to her. Luckily my doctor said that you can only pass through skin to skin contact when open sores are present or through shedding, which happens prior to outbreak. At the timeI was going through a divorce and my life was the craziest it had ever been. I was so stressed, depressed, not sleeping or eating healthy. I was having constant outbreaks, they were very physically & mentally painful. Then I decided to do something about my shitty situation. I started researching herpes, like a mad woman and joined forums such as these. I'm greatful because it has helped me to heal tremendously!

50% of those infected with herpes, never show symptoms. We are the unfortunate ones who do. If your partners have a hard time believing it was them whom infected you, then you need to educate them. It does take time to learn how and when your about to have an outbreak. Luckily there are many ways you can reduce the duration of your outbreak and stop one from even coming! I suggest you research traetment options because some are very effective. If you don't want to take anti viral medicine then my best advice to you is this: keep your immune system as healthy as you can. Get adequate sleep, eat a healthy diet, drink white & green tea, take a Lysine supplement which has been proven to reduce outbreaks, drink LOTS of water, and avoid stress. Now that's a tough one to avoid but if you partake in activities you enjoy, it will help to reduce your stress. Avoid excessive alcohol and drug use. This virus thrives on weak immune systems so do what you can to stay healthy and positive!

Now when you have a reoccurance (outbreak) here is what I do to alleviate the pain, itch, and time of my outbreaks: when sores first appear, start taking Epsom salt & oatmeal baths, 3 times a day for at least 10 min. This will dry those suckers up in no time. Keep the sores DRY. Buy an aloe Vera leaf or plant, extract all the gel. Then mix equal parts of gel with vitamin E oil and keep on the fridge. Apply this to sores after your bath. This will also help to heal the sores quickly. Throughout the day, I use witch hazel to help clean and take away the itching! Never itch or scrub the sores. After you pee, blot dry instead of wiping. Wiping will irradiate and could spread the sores. If your in a lot of pain then use lidocaine gel on the sores.

Avoid using over the counter products such as vagistat and hydrocortizone. You want to use things as natural as possible. Oh and a side note, the witch hazel works wonders on your face as a toner too!

6

Sleep is definitely a key part.

For Cold sores I say again and again Virulite is like a small miracle.

Thanks to another poster on here, I am now reading about a Shingles Vaccine which is supposed to help and you can pay for in most countries.

Good luck

7

thanks very much for sharing and the advice, a lot of people on here seem to have caught it when they were in a long term relationship , i envy this. The fear of even going near someone never mind starting a relationship with them is horrid. Its very comforting knowing other peoples stories xx

8

I'm 24 and was diagnosed 5 weeks ago. My symptoms have lasted over a month so I just feel very gross and dirty constantly. I think when the symptoms go down I'll be able to process it better. Right now I just feel like a leper and I can't tell anyone.

I'm glad there's places like this with people who've learned how to deal with it and gone on to have a normal relationship. It's what's keeping me going when I start to spiral into self-pity mode.

9

Fiona,

I'm 24 and like you, had not dated anyone for over a year. I started seeing someone and three months into the relationship starting having symptoms and was diagnosed. Much like the guy you were seeing, the guy I dated refused to believe he passed it on to me and has stopped talking to me. I was diagnosed over a month ago, and it is getting easier to cope with. Some days are better than others. I do fear having to tell anyone that I have herpes but I know this will get easier with time. I find comfort in knowing that I am not in this alone, even though somedays that's how it feels, and I hope you can find that some comfort.

10

Hi Fiona,

A year later and coming to terms with the fact I contracted herpes, I absolutely know how you feel. I was utterly devastated and felt completely betrayed. I was so depressed and I genuinely felt that my life was shattered and I would never be able to find someone or ever settle down because of the stigma and fear of passing it on.

However, there is a way forward! Having done significant research on the topic, especially reading scientific literature and experiments published on the topic and just wanted to put some facts out there as this wasn't very clear or evident when I was looking for support (a lot of articles on the net are very pessimistic and demoralising!).

Despite the risk of passing on herpes without symptoms (asymptomatic shedding), there is a lot of compelling research to suggest that taking suppressive treatment significantly reduces the risk of transmission. 

Statistically (supported by scientific research): 

- If partners avoid sex during outbreaks: 4% chance transmission from female to male; 8% male to female

- If partners also use condoms OR antiviral medication: 2% female to male; 4% per year male to female

- If partners also use condoms and antiviral medications: 1% female to male; 2% male to female

These statistics are 4% PER YEAR of having regular sex, NOT a 4% risk every time you have sex. (The chance per occasion would be 4% divided by 365 days = 0.0001, equivalent to 1/10,000 chance of passing it on in one sex session. This is WITHOUT suppressive treatment)

This statistic is halved when using either condoms OR suppressive treatment (1/20,000 chance per occasion you have sex) and then halved again if you use both condoms AND suppressive treatment (1/40,000 chance per occasion you have sex)

I am currently taking Acyclovir twice a day having done so for about 4 months now and I've never had an outbreak since (coming from someone who used to have outbreaks at least once a month!).

Hope this helps! Please don't feel like you're in despair or you're dirty or less of a person for having this. At the end of the day it's just a virus. It doesn't shorten your life, or make you infertile like other STDs. You can manage it symptomatically by  preventing outbreaks from happening in the first place, in addition to the fact that this also dramatically reduces the risk of passing it on.

I'm currently seeing an amazing guy (something I thought I could never have!) who knows about the fact I've had herpes in the past, and after telling the facts to him and explaining I'm on suppressive treatment and the very small statistical risk to him, he's absolutely fine about it and we have amazing sex all the time!  

I got all my info from the articles below. I hope this helps you and others and gives you confidence and a positive attitude to go forward. Herpes really isn't that bad! You just need to be informed of the facts smile Good luck!

http://www.dynamiclear.com/blog/herpes-transmission.htm

http://justherpes.com/dating/herpes-transmission-rates-how-not-to-give-partner-herpes/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14702423/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16238897

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15319087

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15378428

11

Hi, I was rececently tested positive for hsv1 and recently started seeing an amazing guy. I'm nervous to tell him, for I'm not sure if it was him or someone else who gave it to me but regardless it's a hard subject to bring up. I'm mostly worried how our sex life will be affected. Do you and your guy still use condoms? Or is it something that can only be passed along if you are experiencing a breakout? I have my doctors appt tomorrow but I can't help but worry