Just been diagnosed and feel lost on what I should do. Anyone willing to share their experience?

Sexual health
21

I suspect it will work out. Am I right in thinking he passed it to you? If so, you both have it, so there is nothing to worry about anymore. In many ways it could make your relationship stronger, as you are both in the same boat and could experience the exact same thing. 

How did you get on at work? Hopefully it took your mind off it, which would be good for the healing process. 

The herp...Lol! You will get used to that though!

I had a fantastic experience at the doctors today (as good as a herpes discussion can be I suppose!). I explained my concerns that it has not 100% healed and he has given me another 5 day course of antivirals. He said it was extremely common, and even said that it can't be transmitted unless there are sores knocking around....that seemed to contradict me reasearch. Did you hear that?

Hope you have had a better day with it today! 

22

Hey Tom,

So glad you went to the docs!!! So glad you got to talk to someone who knows what they're talking about too. Hopefully the drugs will help you heal, i finally look like I am healing today. Thank god. I'm glad they told you about how common it is etc. And made you feel like a normal person!! Did they manage to take swabs ?

Yeahhh we both recently got out of long term relationships. He found out that his ex had been sleeping around and given him chlamydia which made him really mad. Hence all his testing recently. He took all his drugs, got rid of everything and was clear again. Then this happened. She obviously gave him herpes too. 

We both know he gave it to me as I had all the bad symptoms (fever, temperature, tonsillitis, initial sores) a week after we first had sex so I had only been recently exposed to the virus and I've not been with anyone else since my last long term partner of 6 years. At first I just thought the blisters were because we had been going at it pretty hard. I was hoping it might just be an opportunistic yeast infection. Unfortunately no such luck. It sucks that just when you think you've been given a break and you are finally allowed a chance to be happy that something like this happens. 

He is being really supportive and lovely though, today for example he has sent me flowers even though he's on the other side of the world. We weren't going to see each other again till Xmas but he wants to change all his plans and come over to the uk next month. I don't know. I miss him during the day when he's asleep so I know I still have feelings there, just everything is clouded by this new stupid virus. 

He's being amazing, but he gets no symptoms, so here I am being all miserable whereas he is ok. Just getting on with work and keeping busy. He is always checking I'm ok, and whenever I feel down he always asks if I want to chat on the phone. I'm worried I'm just going to end up pushing him away though because I'm feeling quite down. But then again, it is still only day 4. Still much better than mon and tues ! Although I do feel worse today than yesterday. How are you feeling ? I've lost loads of weight, I'm under 8 stone now so today I have made a real effort to eat more. I didn't have lunch, but I did snack quite a lot which is good. I really need to look after myself more I just suck at it completely!!! 

Yeah that's right, you can shed the virus through your skin when you are showing no symptoms. That's why it's important to tell your partners you have this thing before having sex, as even with condoms there is still a chance they can get it.

I worked at home again today, couldn't face the office. Tomorrow though, I am definitely going in. We have dress down Fridays so should be able to wear something that I will feel a bit more comfortable in that isn't suit and heels. Then by next week I am hoping I will feel ok enough to wear my regular clothes. 

I'm nervous about work. I sit next to a lovely lady on my team though and I know she gets cold sores. So even at work I know I'm not alone I guess. There is a work party tomorrow night and I really can't face going though. I don't know what to do. Uhhh. 

23

Hi,

That's great news on the healing side of things. No he didn't take any swabs and didn't even take a look, which I thought was quite strange. I called the Sexual health clinic where I went on monday and they did confirm it was HSV! 

He sounds like he is being great about it all, and definitely sounds like someone you should try and keep hold of. When you feel down confide in him. He obviously doesn't see it as a stubmling block, and the way he has been with you is so positive. don't push him away, if anything pull him towards you! He is being great about all this by the sounds of it, so try to remember that.

Hopefully the antivirals etc. will kick in and you will start to feel better. I'm feeling pretty good today thanks, hardly any pain apart from my legs. I keep feeling positive and then down again when I think about potential relationships, but that's something I will have to cross when I come to it. Are you getting plenty of rest? The doctor told me today that its worse when you are run down etc. Yes you should try and eat more! I know what you mean with looking after yourself, that's something i'm going to start doing properly...tough when you live a student life though!

That will be the ideal day to go back! I've been wearing shorts pretty much all the time since monday, and it's been great!

Work will probably help you take your mind off it and seeing that woman everyday will help you realise how common it is. 

My advice...go out! It might be painful, but don't let it control your life right now. go out and enjoy yourself, and if anything that will help with the healing process and might help you see that you can get past it. I'm off out on saturday night when all my Uni mates move back. I know that I will get over it a lot quicker if I carry on as normal! 

24

Good, glad you're beginning to feel better. My leg aches went in about 5-7 days. Temperature took about a week. Travelling back at the weekend for 30 odd hours was SO unpleasant with all this as you can imagine ha ha. 

To be fair, no. I've been jetlagged and barely sleeping. I am knackered. I got a fairly decent sleep last night for the first time though and will be getting an early night tonight. 

Yeah I know what you mean. I saw some friends yesterday and I felt a lot better. I told them I had been in a bit of a mood because I had been given the coldsore virus. I didn't say anything else about it. They don't know where it is on my body. They were all fine about it like. 'Oh well, never mind. Loads of people have it'. It made me feel a little better. 

I'll think about going tomorrow night. We will see. I'm on some other antibiotics for my tonsillitis so I can't drink anyway. But we shall see !! 

I know. He's so lovely. A real catch. It's not his fault this happened. Maybe I'm just over thinking things. It will be good to see him In a few weeks, I guess we will just see how it is then. I am scared about having sex again. I'm still freaked out my the virus, I don't want to spread it to my face even though it's quite hard to get hsv2 on your face. I don't know if you already have it whether you can get it in other places too if it's the same strain. There isn't THAT much info about it. I don't even know if like. If you have open sores can you spread them around the same area or is it just dictated by the virus within the nerve endings? I'm worried that having sex will give me another episode. I've read that EVERYTHING can cause another outbreak. Sex, going on your period, even sunbathing !!!! Ah dear. I am probably just over thinking everything. God I am being a right moany mardarse today!! 

I'm going to make a proper dinner this evening, fill it with good nutritional stuff. Have a shower, get loads of sleep and then face the office tomorrow feeling fresh and ready to take on the world. Hopefully. Nervous! So nervous!! I'm going to go to holland and barratt at the weekend and buy about a million supplements. Get some l Lysine, vit c, vit b, odourless garlic and some zinc. Try and boost my immune system. 

Thanks for talking and listening to me moan. Means a lot. Guess we are always just going to have up and down days for now until we get used to the idea. 

25

I can imagine. Was it austrailia or somewhere  close that you had been? Can't even begin to imagine that flight!

That's good. I reckon people will react a lot better to 'coldsore virus' compared to Herpes. 

It will probs be a while until you will want to have sex again, but if you both know the underlying story then it should be fine. I read somewhere (can't remember where) that if you have a coldsore and then have oral sex with someone that can pass it down there, and vice versa, which is obvious. However, I also read you need to avoid like open cuts. Im petrified at the moment because 2 weeks ago I was doing some landscape gardening for a bit of cash and have cuts all over! 

There does seem to be a lot of triggers, but also a lot of ways to limit it! My doctor seemed very comfortable with me going back and going on antivirals for a sustained period. 

Sounds like a great plan! Try not to be too nervous, only the people you want to know will find out! Are there some vitamins which help with this that you have come across?

Not a problem. Thanks for all your advice. It's just good to know that other people are going through it as well and i'm not the only one.

26

Yeah NZ so pretty much the furthest away place possible. Worth it though, absolutely amazing place. I'm so gutted I got so ill while I was there, I missed out on doing so much stuff I had planned. But never mind! Will just have to go back. 

Yeah I know you can pass coldsores like that. But if you already have like the hsv 2 strain in one place, I'm unsure whether you can get it in the other. Maybe you have to wait for your body to produce the antibodies that fight the virus after a few weeks. I do know that once infected with hsv 2 you can ALSO get hsv 1. Can you even imagine. What a nightmare. Just covered in sores.  

I know yeah, I'm just going to see how I get on with outbreaks. If really bad I'm going to go onto antivirals for a year. Apparently the first two years are the worst. I hope we are the kind of people who get like. One bad outbreak then never have one ever again. That would be awesome. 

Apparently because the virus has a fatty lipid coating, if you use a soap quite often or just after touching an affecting area, it can kill any virus you may have on your hands. 

With regard to bits and supps, L lysine is meant to be best. There is some evidence that it fights and suppresses the virus. Then garlic, vitamin c, vitamin b and zinc are all really good at boosting your immune system. And obviously having a strong immune system means you are stronger against the virus. 

27

you will have to deffo go back, and spend even more time there...hopefully outbreak free!

That would be horrible! I'm not entirely sure the differences between both of the strains other than one is the face one is the genital region (that might not even be right).

That would be great. I had a chat on the phone with a nurse earlier and  she said that some people have a few more in their life and others none. Obviously some have more but im trying not to think about that.

thats good to know then!

Ahhh ok. See i haven't looked into any of this, still trying to get over the fact I had to pay for a prescription! Never had to do that before! Might go and buy all that stuff tomorow 

28

Hahaha I know. They're so expensive too. Being a student, if you qualify for loads of stuff on your student loan for low income then you can apply for a hs2 certificate or something that means you can get prescriptions for free. But only if you qualify unfortunately, otherwise you have to pay like £8 a trip.

Yeah, let's just keep our fingers crossed hey. No more outbreaks ! I suppose this outbreak wasn't so bad. It's lasted ages but I have only had 4 visible blisters. I'm fairly sure there are some on the inside but they don't cause me TOO much bother I guess. 

The difference is yes, hsv1 thrives on the face, hsv2 thrives between your legs. If you get type 1 genital herpes supposedly you get virtually no outbreaks because it's not its natural environment. I'm so hoping my symptoms are kind. I can't be dealing with not being able to sit down again !!! Literally a pain in the arse !!!!! 

Yeah I really want to go back, a couple of years ago I wanted to move out there but life got in the way. Now I have the chance to do it again. So I'm planning on getting all my professional exams out of the way over the next like. Ten months. Then consider moving over there because there is so much opportunity for what I do. This is good. Positive thinking for the future. Feeling much better now than I was earlier smile 

29

haha they really are! If I go to the right places I can near enough have a night out on £8!!

If they don't cause you any bother then that's great. I found a few more on the morning I went to the doctors. The best thing about this medication for me is that I can now have a wee without being in pain! I wasn't drinking for fear of needing the toilet!

Oh ok. Well apparently the first outbreak is always the worse...that's what I have read!

that would be great! and think...in 10 months time you will hopefully not give a s**t about these things and you can have a cracking life! 

30

Oh god tell me about it. The first few days I was in agony every time I went to the toilet. I found that baby wipes were a god send though. Infact I think I only managed to go to the toilet yesterday again without wincing hahaha. One of my sores was really big and near my bum it was awful hahaha. So un glamourous.  Healing process is really coming along now though. I don't think any of the sores are open anymore smile

I'm nervous because I'm now due my period. Sorry. So gross to discuss. But it's like. What protection do I use. Will it aggravate things. Will I have another flaming outbreak!?! Argh! Nightmare. 

This is definitely not the most straight forward virus to have. 

Ohhhh the herp. Felt better last night. Even though I am awake again now from 2.30am and now it's almost 4. Must try to get more sleep. Sigh. 

Let me know how u get on at the supplement shop if u go and let me know what you get ! I'm gonna make an effort to go tomorrow and go for a walk and get some fresh air too. 

31

Oh dear that isn't good in the slighest! Any improvements today?

Haha i'm afraid I can't really help on the period front...perhaps someone else has some advice! good luck though :P 

Haha 'the herp' sucks! Hope you have managed to get into work today and are feeling good about it all.

On the supplement front. I went into the chemists and got way too confused. Decided rather than buying basically the whole shop, I am going to do some reasearch and stock up. I'm thinking just general things to boost my immune system would be best. I rarely get ill, but I have been on placement the last year so have had a routine...that's not going to happen now i'm back at uni! 

32

Hey Tom,

Hope all's well with you and that you have seen some improvements with your antivirals !! I hate this first outbreak but my sores are finally not open anymore. Amazing news !! Can finally begin to bloody heal !! Haha. 

Yes, good idea. Research is definitely key. I'm going to do a little more today and head up to a holland and barratt. 

I went into the office yesterday, even though I barely slept the night before I had a good productive day. Lots of report writing done. Was good to see my team and just get back to being normal. No one can tell I have this virus. Everything is fine. 

I've told my housemate I have the coldsore virus. Obviously I've not told him where it is. But it's good to get it out in the open and his reaction was LOL you have herpes, then nah don't worry. Everyone has herpes nowadays. Not a big deal.

I think if I ever have to tell anyone new in a relationship I will be replacing the word 'herpes' with 'coldsore virus' it sounds so much less intimidating. It helps me to deal with it a lot better definitely. 

I didn't go to the work party in the end, but I've got to hang out with my housemate again which is good. It's really good being around friends. 

Getting there. Slowly. Herpes isn't THAT big of a deal. There needs to be more websites that say that. Obviously the internet is full of 'oh no my life is over' and no one who is ok with it writes anything. It's not awesome to have herpes, but it's definitely not the end of the world I guess. Although I still really really wish I didn't have it. Lol. 

33

Hey,

Massive improvements over the last few days! Hardly thought about it as well which is good. Glad I have the extra course of anti virals to truly get rid of it. Didn't really have confidence that 5 days was long enough! glad you're on the mend! 

How did you get on at holland and barrat? did you find anything decent? 

His reaction sounds good...I imagine a lot of peope will have a similar reaction. Yes referring to it as coldsore is deffo the way foward. I've still not told anyone, and don't really have the urge to tell anyone unless it's obviously a girl i'm going to sleep with!

It isn't that big a deal! I feel really good today! Now that there has been an improvement it has started to become a non issue to me. 

Glad you had a good couple of days. I decided to go about my weekend as usual and will be going out tonight. I'm just sat around the house today watching football with my mates and I have hardly given it a thought, and the times I have, it has all been positive. 

34

Hey Tom,

Hope you've had a good weekend and went about your usual routines and got drunk and had a good time ! Hope all is healing well too.

I look pretty much back to normal now which is awesome. No more pain and soreness which is so good!

Yes I went to holland and barratt bought about a million things. I got a multi vitamin some vitamin B, zinc, odourless garlic tabs and most importantly the l-lysine. I'm going to start taking everything tomorrow and get back into a decent routine.

I'm feeling so much better about everything now my outbreak is winding down. I hope I am not one of those people who gets an outbreak every month. Fingers crossed it's just one. Ever !

Good news is this guy I've been seeing now wants to come over for a visit next month which is awesome ! He is having a tough time coping with herpes though. Like coming to terms with it. He's worried about having sex again and says he feels dirty. I've told him there is no point worrying since we now both already have herpes there is no way we can give it to each other again but he is still really down. Do you have any advice from a male perspective ? 

35

Hi,

sorry it took me a while to get back to you, been quite busy over the last couple of days! 

are all the vitamins working well? 

I know it is easy to say, but there is no need for him to be down. I understand what he means about feeling dirty, however my things have no cleared up and even though I know I still have herpes im not thinking about it in a negative way anymore. 

The fact of the matter is, you both have it and it's not life threatening. So it's not like you can give it to eachother again. In terms of worrying about having sex, when you think the herpes is acting up again just don't have sex. Bottom line is you can't catch the virus again, so it is just about how you manage it. 

try and explain to him that there is no need to worry about the sex issue, and explain how manageable it actually is! Sorry I can't really give much more advice on the issue, but maybe just focus on the fact that you both have it and that way you won't catch it again.

Out of interest. How long should you wait after an outbreak before you can have sex? I haven't had sex, and not really rushing into anything since the diagnosis, but just wondering what is recommended in terms of waiting time. Do you know?

36

Hey tom, 

Sorry for the delayed reply. Really thrown myself into work this week and seeing friends. I guess as we come to terms with it we will need the forum a bit less smile 

How are u healing now ? All my sores are healed but I have such bad skin pain where they were ! I get sharp shooting pains and the skin itself just aches all the time. So grim. 

The supplements I haven't even started taking yet, need to sort my life out and sleep more and start taking them !!! Did u buy any?

With regard to sex I think you're meant to wait Atleast one week after the sores are completely healed. I think. The other person can still catch it but once u are healed over transmission rates are less ! 

Hope u are well and have another busy weekend planned smile 

37

OMG. I HAVE ANOTHER OUTBREAK. ARRRRGGHHHH

38

Hi,

Really sorry to hear that you are having another outbreak! Is this one worse than the first?

I seem to be Completly healed and I have now finished the course of antivirals that the doctor gave me! Been trying to look after myself but I've been hit with a big cold and vomiting bug so that's not going to well. I expect another outbreak soon!

Hope your managing at work, and you aren't letting the new outbreak get you down!